Narcissists are vile, evil and the absolute worst. The only thing they are good at, and the only thing they give a lot of effort to is hurting people. Now, there are quite a few types of narcissists out there, but have you ever heard of a somatic narcissist? Someone who is obsessed with physical appearances, and how you look on the outside?
If you have, then congratulations, you have encountered a somatic narcissist. They are no less destructive and harmful than the other kinds of narcissists. Read on to better understand who they are, how they behave, and what you can do to deal with them in the best possible way.
Related: The 5 Wants Of A Narcissist
What Is A Somatic Narcissist?
Somatic narcissists are obsessed with how they look, and if they are blessed with good looks, they believe that they are superior to everybody else. They feel a sense of entitlement and superiority towards others, especially those who might not be “as good-looking” as them.
They firmly believe that because of their impressive physical appearance, they can do and say whatever they want. In many cases, they even use their attractive appearance as a means of manipulating others for their own selfish needs.
When it comes to somatic narcissism, people suffering from this will invest an unhealthy amount of time in “bettering” and “improving” their physical appearance. There won’t be a single moment when they won’t think about how they are looking from the outside. However, underneath that perfect exterior, there’s a lot of insecurity tormenting them.
A somatic narcissist’s self-worth and self-esteem depend on how good and attractive they look on the outside. That’s one of the reasons why they are always so jealous of beautiful people, because deep down inside, they want to be like them or even better than them. Moreover, they can go to any lengths to fulfill their obsessive need.
So, what are the signs of a somatic narcissist? Read on to know more.
8 Signs You Are Being Abused By A Somatic Narcissist
1. They can’t think beyond physical appearances, weight, food, and fitness.
One of the major signs of a somatic narcissist is that they are obsessed with outer appearances, weight, and fitness, and they find it hard to think beyond these things. This is one of the reasons why they are heavily dependent on plastic surgery and appearance-altering procedures.
They are ready to do anything to make sure that they look “perfect” and “impressive” from the outside. Moreover, they spend a ton of money (even if they are almost broke) on expensive clothes, makeup, perfumes, and anything that can bolster how they look from the outside.
They also have a tendency of fishing for compliments from other people about their looks and clothes.
2. They cannot accept criticism in any form, even if it comes from a positive place.
Criticism, even if it’s constructive criticism is something narcissists just cannot deal with, and the same goes for a somatic narcissist.
There’s a term for this called “narcissistic injury” and is used to describe the anger, disdain, emptiness, and humiliation a narcissist feels when they are criticized for their actions. In their eyes, they are perfect, and how dare anyone insults them!?
Even if you want what’s good for them, and you give them constructive criticism, in the hopes that they will take the advice and work on themselves, it never works. They will hit back and will go to any lengths to humiliate you and put you down.
Somatic narcissists see red when you criticize their looks and physical appearance because, in their books, that’s just downright unacceptable.
3. They judge people on the basis of their appearance and looks.
Now, is this really surprising? Of course not! People who are obsessed with looks are obviously going to judge others on the basis of theirs. For somatic narcissists, it doesn’t matter how talented, nice or intelligent you are, the only thing that matters is how you look, what you wear, and how you present yourself from the outside.
In order to feed their superiority complex and mask their own insecurities, they will put down people who they believe are not as good-looking as them. They will fat-shame, body-shame, and even make fun of old people and feel not even a single ounce of remorse or shame in doing that.
Additionally, they will also make comments and “give advice” regarding your physical appearance, which includes telling you what to eat or what not to eat, what to wear or what not to wear, and how you should exercise and look on the outside. Pioneers of unhealthy beauty standards much?
4. They use sex to feel better about themselves.
One of the major somatic narcissist symptoms is this, and this one trait can give away their true nature.
Compulsive sexual behavior, exploiting others for sex, constant infidelity and the tendency to use sex as a weapon are just some of the many traits of somatic narcissism.
They function like this because, for them, it is a tool that helps them bolster their self-worth and self-esteem. Using other people for sex gives them a high that rarely other things can.
Through sex, they feel good about themselves and their insecurities, and being sexually desirable to others gives them the validation they so desperately crave.
5. They only care about their own needs and nobody else’s.
No matter how much pain and trouble you might be in, somatic narcissists could care less about all that. They are only concerned about their own needs and wants, and solely focus on them, even if it means hurting other people to get what they want.
They are narcissists for a reason, and their self-obsessed and selfish personality is a testament to that. Understanding and respecting someone else’s feelings is something that just can’t fathom.
Unfortunately, that means, that if you’re in a relationship with a somatic narcissist, you will always come second, and not just that, you’ll always be treated like garbage.
6. They are experts in the art of triangulation.
What are the signs of a somatic narcissist? One of them is their ability to play the game of triangulation. They will triangulate and torment you by constantly comparing you with their ex-partners, just to make you feel insulted and defeated.
And not just ex-partners, they might even compare you with their other romantic partners to get an emotional reaction from you.
This makes them feel powerful and better about themselves. Humiliating you by comparing you with other people and behaving as if they are so much better than you, especially in terms of looks, beauty, body, and physical appearance is their favorite thing to do.
7. They treat you as a tool for satisfying their emotional and physical needs.
Being with a somatic narcissist is like being used like a tool day in and day out. For them, you are just a means to an end. They don’t love you at all, nor do they feel lucky to have you in their lives; all they care about is what you can do for them, more specifically, how good you can make them feel.
They use and exploit you to satisfy all their physical and emotional needs, and once that’s done, they could care less about you. Being in a relationship with them is all about you fulfilling their needs, and nothing more and nothing less.
If they need you for something, they will be the best partner in this world, and once they’re done with you, you don’t exist for them.
8. They are desperate for approval and validation.
Underneath all the bravado, arrogance, and narcissism, there is an ocean of insecurity in them that fuels their behavior. No matter how arrogant they might behave on the outside, the truth is, they are extremely insecure people with very low self-worth.
The main reason why they treat people like garbage is that it makes them feel better about their shortcomings, flaws, and insecurities. They desperately crave attention, external validation, and approval from others, even those who they believe are “not good-looking enough” for them. This is all they care about in life.
Being with a somatic narcissist is not an easy task, and honestly, it’s not something that you should tolerate just because you love them.
You deserve better than someone who only cares about how you look on the outside. Looks and physical appearance are not everything, and you should not be with someone who thinks it is.
Look out for these signs of a somatic narcissist, so that you know who and what you are dealing with. Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the difference between somatic narcissists and cerebral narcissists?
Somatic narcissists are obsessed with looks, physical appearances, weight, and fitness, and achieve validation and a sense of importance from these. Cerebral narcissists are obsessed with feeling smarter, more intelligent, and more gifted than others. Cerebral narcissists care about brains and somatic narcissists care about bodies.
What is the difference between somatic narcissists and sexual narcissists?
Both sexual and somatic narcissists display their narcissistic tendencies through their behavior, but somatic narcissists don’t always need this to feel sexually aroused or charged. Somatic narcissists use their partners as objects for sexual pleasure, whereas sexual narcissists look to having as many sexual partners as they can.
What are the 4 types of narcissism?
The 4 types of narcissism are communal narcissism, covert narcissism, overt narcissism, and malignant narcissism.