5 Self Defeating Thoughts Every Single Soul Has and Ways To Fight It

 / 

Self Defeating Thoughts

Looking for love, in its truest sense, isn’t about finding someone else. It’s about finding yourself again. —Robert Holden, Ph.D, Loveability

Have you ever came across “got engaged”, “ got married”  posts on Facebook, while you are  on your couch in your pj’s and eating spaghetti on a Friday night. Not exactly the best time to see such posts, isn’t it? You might start to feel awful on your current ‘single’ status. But you know what? It’s completely fine, don’t ever beat yourself up because you don’t have a boyfriend or think you are not good enough for any one.

You are awesome the way you are and tell this to the mean devil side of yours who is trying to demean you all the way with the following thoughts.

 1)  I Am Still Single Because I Am Not Doing The Right Things

Remind yourself that you are not playing a dating game show where you use the right strategies to get a guy. You are leading a real life and love will happen when it has to because it is not a game that you can win. That’s the reason you don’t need to worry about the moves others are making. If your friends are getting engaged or married that doesn’t mean they are special or different. It’s just that it was their time. Your time will come too and when it will it would be beautiful. But, till then focus on this thought rather than letting panic take you over.

2) Only If I Were Thin, sexy, Smart, And Fascinating, I Too Would Have Got Hitched

Insecurity is your worst enemy. Don’t let it overpower you. It is a negative emotion that only causes depression. Start believing and loving yourself. By doing so you replace insecurity with confidence and that is what you need to look gorgeous as confidence is the most attractive quality a woman can possess. When you behave like a desirable woman your looks and appearance will exude a charm that most men can’t resist. Whenever the negative thoughts plunder your mind just throw them out of the window.

3) There Aren’t Any Good Guys Left For Me

This surely isn’t true. But you are compelled to think in this way when you meet all the useless guys that turn you off completely. Even though it’s disappointing, remember you need only one right guy and you will recognize him when you know what he is not like, rather than what he should be. All the wrong and useless guys you meet are your lessons and after meeting them you know what you don’t want. These experiences set you ready for the right moment. Who knows, maybe your “right” guy too is slogging through his share of “wrong” girls in search for you.

4) I’m Too Choosy— I Should Settle For The Next Guy I Meet

As long as your expectations are not impractical, you are not wrong in expecting certain qualities in a guy. Some women tend to expect traits like kindness and riches in a man who should also be handsome like a Greek God. You are, perhaps, looking for a guy who fits you well and there is nothing wrong in it. It is okay if it is taking time because real connections don’t happen overnight.  This doesn’t mean you are being choosy.  There is only a small difference between people who have less and people who have more. The simple reason why some people have more is they never settled for less. And so they have more of everything and of course more of satisfaction too. They are happier because they strongly believe they deserve to be so. While it’s important to have an open mind, it’s best not to have someone you don’t deserve.

5) My Biological Clock Is Ticking

Your concern is right, but not completely. Even if you don’t get someone by whatever age you think you should, still your chances of not finding love and starting a family will not be grim. You will definitely find someone you would adore and respect well with time. Look around and see how many women who tried and didn’t find a man they could settle with? Perhaps, very few. Even if you are one of those women who find love a bit late, everything will be okay, because there are hundreds of ways to get pregnant if you have any problem in conceiving. Moreover, women easily get pregnant naturally in their 40’s and have healthy babies. So, stop imagining the worst for yourself. Rather enjoy your state of singlehood because you’re still free to do things which you won’t once you start a relationship and eventually a family. Don’t waste the beautiful moments worrying about horrible things that aren’t going to happen.


You May Also Like

15 Things You Should Stop Doing To Yourself
13 Things I Want To Tell The Single And Unhappy Ones
5 Ways To Love and Embrace Your Single Life without apology!
Stop Thinking You Can’t Be Happy Because You’re Single
 

Self Defeating Thoughts

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

The Zeigarnik Effect: The Reason You Feel Constantly Overwhelmed

The Zeigarnik Effect: Why You Feel Constantly Overwhelmed

Ever wonder why your to-do list seems to weigh you down, even when you haven’t touched it in hours? That’s the Zeigarnik effect in play! It’s the sneaky reason you can’t stop thinking about unfinished tasks and feel constantly overwhelmed. But don’t worry, we will discuss how to overcome Zeigarnik effect.

You know how having too many open Chrome tabs bogs your computer down?

The same happens to your brain.

Unfinished tasks keep “running” in the background.

It’s called the Zeigarnik Effect.

Here’s how it works and what to do about it…



Up Next

Why Do I Hate My Father? 8 Effective Ways to Mend Your Relationship

Why Do I Hate My Father? Tips to Reconnect with Your Dad

“Why do I hate my father?” – if you have ever asked yourself this question, then trust me, you are not alone. Not having a good relationship with your father is one of the most painful things to experience in life.

Father-child relationships can be really complicated in many cases, and it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Whether it’s due to past hurts, misunderstandings, or present conflicts, your strained relationship with him can be really challenging and hard to navigate.

But there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and I have some good news for you: it is possible to improve your bonding with your dad. Today, we are going to talk about some of the best ways to strengthen your bond with your father, and turn things around for the better.

So, ready to know how you and your father can reconne



Up Next

8 Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotage

Ever wonder why he’s always gloomy and unhappy? These 8 signs reveal how he might be the source of his own misery, with self-sabotaging behaviors being an obstacle his own path to happiness.

Self-sabotage is often the biggest obstacle to happiness.

Self-sabotaging behaviors, negative mindsets, and the absence of emotional intelligence can unknowingly pave the path to a cycle of unhappiness. While external circumstances influence our success and well-being, the biggest obstacles to happiness are often found within.



Up Next

How To Talk To Anyone With Confidence? 14 Psychological Hacks For Any Situation

How To Talk To Anyone With Confidence? Fun Tricks

Do you ever wonder how to talk to anyone with confidence? Small talk may be intimidating at times but it is an ability that everyone can learn – the art of conversation!

Be it a party, a romantic date, or an office environment; one can use certain psychological tips that will help with the process and make it even more fun.

So, if you have trouble finding the right things to say, or are always in the corner of a gathering, here is how to talk to people and participate actively in different social settings with confidence.



Up Next

Why It’s So Hard to Admit You’re Wrong: 7 Surprising Psychological Barriers You Didn’t Know About

Why Is It So Hard To Admit To Being Wrong? Psychological Reasons You Need To Know

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a heated debate, feeling that gnawing sensation that you might be wrong, but don’t want to admit it? Or maybe you are watching someone double down on their stance, even when all evidence points to the contrary, and wondering, “Why can’t they just say they’re wrong?” It’s a common scenario that plays out in classrooms, workplaces, and even family dinners, leaving many of us puzzled about why it is so hard to admit to being wrong.

Admitting we’re wrong isn’t just about swallowing our pride. For some people, admitting an error feels like a failure on a personal level, thus threatening their self-esteem and identity. Others worry about being judged and what consequences may follow. It’s not stubbornness alone, but this innate fear of exposure and vulnerability that makes it hard to



Up Next

3 Relationship Check In Questions On Love, According To A Psychologist

Relationship Check In Questions For Couples In Love

It’s common for us to push relationships down our list of priorities when we get busy. We think we’ll make up for lost time later, assuming everything will be fine. But what if everything isn’t fine? Below are 3 crucial relationship check in questions for couples to make life simpler!

According to a recent publication of Current Issues in Personality Psychology, discussions were shown to be an effective strategy for solving disagreements and improving the quality of relationships.

So, a monthly relationship relationship check in questions can help keep your love boat afloat. Once a month, you and your partner can sit across from each other and talk. It isn’t about pointing fingers or finding fault; it’s about feeding the connection



Up Next

7 Situations Where You Should Stay Silent (Even If You Don’t Want To)

Situations Where You Should Stay Silent At All Costs!

Have you ever realized that being quiet might sometimes be the smartest thing to do? That’s right – there are 7 situations where you should stay silent in life, not because you fear speaking, but because it simply means gaining control over your own actions and thoughts.

Sometimes, silence is indeed golden. It can save you from unnecessary drama, stop a fight from growing worse, or even make you seem more knowledgeable and composed than you really are.

This is not about being scared to voice your opinions; it’s about knowing why you should remain