13 Things I Want To Tell The Single And Unhappy Ones

13 Things I Want To Tell The Single And Unhappy Ones

When did being single become some sort of disease that everyone wants to get rid of? Why does everyone think that being in a relationship or married is superior to being alone? Those are some questions you might want to think about. It’s all about how you look at it.

So if you’re single and unhappy, here are 13 things I want to tell you to cheer you up:

 

1. Things can change. And they will.

I don’t care if you’ve been single for several decades or several days. It can be easy to get down on yourself over the “odds” finding that perfect partner. Don’t let yourself buy into the ridiculous myths like “It’s more likely to get abducted by an alien than it is to get married after 40.” Remember, anything and everything is possible. You just need to get out of your own way and start believing that.

 

2. Have high standards. Don’t just date someone because you don’t want to be alone.

I can’t tell you how many people I know who just “settle” because they hate being alone. If that’s you, why do you hate being alone so much? Don’t you like yourself? You should! You should love being alone because you’re such a cool person. You need to have the mindset that anyone who doesn’t want you is a fool and you wouldn’t want them anyway.

 

3. Use this time to learn about yourself.

Often, people use being with others as an escape—an escape from themselves. If you’re with others, then the focus is on them, not you. But how well do you really know yourself? Being single is a precious time that can be used to really get to know and love yourself. So spend the time getting to know you. Discover new things. Work on personal growth.

 

4. Don’t chase anyone.

And I mean it. Don’t even think about it! If they have to be chased, then they don’t want you. And if they don’t want you, then you shouldn’t want them (see #2). As Maya Angelou says, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” If someone is showing you that they would rather not date you, believe them. Shrug your shoulders and move on. It’s their loss, not yours. No, really—it is.

 

5. Work on making yourself the kind of person you would want to date.

Jerry McGuire had it wrong. Don’t look for someone to “complete you.” If you need someone to complete you, then you aren’t whole to begin with. Re-read #2 and #3 as often as you need to in order to get that lesson. You want someone to think “Wow! This person is dating ME?!?! I’m the luckiest guy/girl on the planet!” And the right person will.

 

6. Learn to love your own company.

You’re awesome! You’re cool! If you don’t believe me, then you are wrong. Everyone is perfect in their own way. The problem is, many people—especially single people—don’t believe it. It’s okay to spend a Saturday night alone with yourself and a movie and a glass of wine. As you do, you should say to yourself what my mother always says, “I wonder what the peasants are doing?” In other words, the “peasants” are anyone who’s not you—because you’re having such a good time by yourself that you don’t need anyone else.


Related Video

 


7. There are still good people out there.

Again, don’t buy into the myths that “all the good ones are taken.” Hogwash! You’re not taken, right? Well, I rest my case! If you’re single and available, then not all the good ones are taken. So you just need to get out of your own head and stop believing those lies that society tells you. There are plenty of good eligible singles out there for you to match up with.

 

8. Uncertainty breeds opportunity.

One of the things that singles don’t like is that they can’t predict the future. Or control it. They think, “Will I be alone forever? Will I be an old maid? Where should I go to meet people?” Lots of people don’t like uncertainty and unanswered questions. But uncertainty brings a ton of opportunity. Your options are endless!! And that’s a good thing! You just need to believe that it is, too.

Stop Thinking You Can’t Be Happy If You Are Alone

you are alone

Do you think you can’t be happy just because you are alone?

Stop convincing yourself that you can’t be alone.

Stop hurrying your heart that you tend to give yourself to someone after giving you simple romantic gestures. Stop having worries that no one will ever fall for you. Stop chasing that far. Stop being jealous of some couples around you. Stop being bitter during Valentine’s Day. Stop doubting your capability of independence. You can be happy alone.

 

Start believing that you can live happily without being in a romantic relationship.

No doubt, having someone who can satisfy your need for intimate affection is really good. It’s a source not just of happiness but also of pride. But please kill the thought that you need it. You can survive without it because all you need is yourself. You suffice. If you find a soulmate, then consider it just a bonus added to your strongly founded life.

It takes an arduous determination for you to achieve that independent happiness. It is meant to be learned until it becomes natural to you. Now first think about this: you can live happily without anyone by enjoying the freedom only singleness can offer. You can focus on your goals, on your own success, on your personal development, and you can enjoy a lot of things without needing approval. You don’t have to limit your time for your friends or your family. You can relish the whole day or week doing what you love the most.

 

Start believing that you can learn the most about life without being in a romantic relationship.

If you are in a relationship you are often preoccupied with your partner and the relationship itself. You focus on learning how to work it out and maintain a good one instead of learning about every single thing you encounter in your daily life. You miss a lot of happenings that you could appreciate as an individual.

Whereas in being single, you get to observe the world intelligently and purely as your perspective remains untainted—it’s only yours, based solely on how you want to see and take it. You motivate yourself to make extraordinary events out of the mundane because you know that it’s not just the love aspect that adds flavor to your days. And most importantly, you learn how to handle things alone without the need to lean on somebody else. It’s like swimming, you learn the right way to move your body—your body alone—just to be able to float and then soon learn to go against the flow. It’s only you who can help yourself in the end.

5 Self Defeating Thoughts Every Single Soul Has and Ways To Fight It

Looking for love, in its truest sense, isn’t about finding someone else. It’s about finding yourself again. —Robert Holden, Ph.D, Loveability

Have you ever came across “got engaged”, “ got married”  posts on Facebook, while you are  on your couch in your pj’s and eating spaghetti on a Friday night. Not exactly the best time to see such posts, isn’t it? You might start to feel awful on your current ‘single’ status. But you know what? It’s completely fine, don’t ever beat yourself up because you don’t have a boyfriend or think you are not good enough for any one.

You are awesome the way you are and tell this to the mean devil side of yours who is trying to demean you all the way with the following thoughts.

 

 1)  I Am Still Single Because I Am Not Doing The Right Things

Remind yourself that you are not playing a dating game show where you use the right strategies to get a guy. You are leading a real life and love will happen when it has to because it is not a game that you can win. That’s the reason you don’t need to worry about the moves others are making. If your friends are getting engaged or married that doesn’t mean they are special or different. It’s just that it was their time. Your time will come too and when it will it would be beautiful. But, till then focus on this thought rather than letting panic take you over.

 

2) Only If I Were Thin, sexy, Smart, And Fascinating, I Too Would Have Got Hitched

Insecurity is your worst enemy. Don’t let it overpower you. It is a negative emotion that only causes depression. Start believing and loving yourself. By doing so you replace insecurity with confidence and that is what you need to look gorgeous as confidence is the most attractive quality a woman can possess. When you behave like a desirable woman your looks and appearance will exude a charm that most men can’t resist. Whenever the negative thoughts plunder your mind just throw them out of the window.

 

3) There Aren’t Any Good Guys Left For Me

This surely isn’t true. But you are compelled to think in this way when you meet all the useless guys that turn you off completely. Even though it’s disappointing, remember you need only one right guy and you will recognize him when you know what he is not like, rather than what he should be. All the wrong and useless guys you meet are your lessons and after meeting them you know what you don’t want. These experiences set you ready for the right moment. Who knows, maybe your “right” guy too is slogging through his share of “wrong” girls in search for you.

 

4) I’m Too Choosy— I Should Settle For The Next Guy I Meet

As long as your expectations are not impractical, you are not wrong in expecting certain qualities in a guy. Some women tend to expect traits like kindness and riches in a man who should also be handsome like a Greek God. You are, perhaps, looking for a guy who fits you well and there is nothing wrong in it. It is okay if it is taking time because real connections don’t happen overnight.  This doesn’t mean you are being choosy.  There is only a small difference between people who have less and people who have more. The simple reason why some people have more is they never settled for less. And so they have more of everything and of course more of satisfaction too. They are happier because they strongly believe they deserve to be so. While it’s important to have an open mind, it’s best not to have someone you don’t deserve.

 

5) My Biological Clock Is Ticking

Your concern is right, but not completely. Even if you don’t get someone by whatever age you think you should, still your chances of not finding love and starting a family will not be grim. You will definitely find someone you would adore and respect well with time. Look around and see how many women who tried and didn’t find a man they could settle with? Perhaps, very few. Even if you are one of those women who find love a bit late, everything will be okay, because there are hundreds of ways to get pregnant if you have any problem in conceiving. Moreover, women easily get pregnant naturally in their 40’s and have healthy babies. So, stop imagining the worst for yourself. Rather enjoy your state of singlehood because you’re still free to do things which you won’t once you start a relationship and eventually a family. Don’t waste the beautiful moments worrying about horrible things that aren’t going to happen.