Being single and happy is within arm’s reach for you, right now as you read this article. There are many surprising advantages of being single. I will show you how you can be who you want to be and lead a happier life when you are single.
Did you know that there are ways to accept that you are alone, and truly be okay with it?
I believe that acceptance is the key to living successfully and, if you can accept that you are not doubled up (although maybe not forever), being happy when you are single is the best way to be content and look forward to your future with hope.
So, how can you be happy when you are single?
It’s about rearranging your mindset. Instead of focusing on everything that is wrong with your life because you aren’t with someone, focus on the benefits of being single, how being single actually enhances your life instead of detracting from it.
Here are some things to consider as you work towards being happy when you are single.
1. It’s all about you.
One of the best parts about being alone is that the only person you have to take care of is you.
Take a look at your day. How much of it is spent taking care of your person? Do you have to cook for them, or do errands for them, or make sure their laundry is done on time? Of course, you love doing all of those little things, but do you sometimes do them at the expense of your own needs?
I know that for the years that I lived by myself, I had a lot of extra time in my day because I was only cooking (or not!), cleaning, and planning for myself and only myself. That extra time not only allowed me more time for doing what I wanted to do, it also gave me the time to build my business and to volunteer to work with people living with mental illnesses.
Now that I am with someone else, I spend a good portion of my day taking care of him and his needs. And I love him and don’t mind doing this, but I must admit that some days I wish I didn’t have to.
Imagine if your every day was full of doing only what you wanted to do, taking care of only yourself, cooking (or not), watching whatever TV you want to watch, going to bed on your own schedule, and not picking up anyone else’s clothes.
How amazing would that feel?
2. You can do things your way.
Now, don’t get me wrong. The willingness to compromise is important in every relationship. However, in many relationships, we sometimes compromise too much.
I know that when one of my clients was married, she lived her life for what her husband wanted and needed. He wanted her to quit a job that she loved, so she did. He wanted to move to another town, and even though she loved their current house, she agreed nonetheless.
He insisted they have dinner with his family on Sundays, in spite of the fact that her family was around on Sunday nights as well.
Don’t get me wrong, her ex compromised too, I am sure, but she had to bend over backwards most days to make him happy.
Imagine that, not having to negotiate with someone else around something that you want or don’t want to do. Living your own life on your own terms. That’s a huge reason why being happy being single doesn’t seem unreasonable at all.
3. No more daily little hurts.
One of the hardest things about relationships, both good and bad ones, is the daily little hurts, those little tiny hurts that occur over the course of a relationship, cuts that undermine the strength of the relationship and, sometimes, lead to its collapse.
What kind of little hurts? Not coming home on time, leaving underwear on the floor, lying about how much beer you had with your buddies, spending more money at the dress shop than planned, farting without apologizing, not walking the dog at the right time, slurping your coffee, snoring, etc. You get the picture.