When you love and embrace your single life without apology, you are doing something amazing for yourself. The fact that you don’t always need someone else to make you feel happy and content, and wholeheartedly love your single life is truly admirable.
Embracing a single life!
It’s a modern world and women are rising at every level. Awesome! Yet, despite all of the advancements, there’s still a social undercurrent that implies that a woman’s worth increases if she’s in a relationship (even more so if she gets married).
Meanwhile, society still sanctions (and even celebrates) single men as being wild cards, free-spirits unwilling to give up their fun-filled lives.
But single women who chose the same path? They’re labeled old maids, with the obligatory cat joke thrown in for good measure.
For many women, this double-standard is infuriating and insulting … creating a mountain of resentment, feeling of unworthiness, panic, or the idea that there’s something you’re doing wrong because you’re still single. And this type of conditioning has gone on for years.
Decades ago, the ability of a woman to support herself was greatly hindered by the mere fact that she could not obtain the wealth of her male counterpart. That led women to look at marriage not as an indulgence, but as a necessity. It wasn’t just about happiness, it was about survival.
Then, everything started to change.
According to The Atlantic, the 1980s were less about leg warmers and more about women’s growth in the workforce and academia. (Case in point, in 1985, half of the college graduates were women.)
Today, a western woman’s life can come with wealth and success if she wants it (man sold separately), yet many women still find themselves panicking at the thought of having dinner for one.
So, instead of embracing the single life, some women slide from relationship to relationship because it grants them the social acceptance and external validation they crave.
They’re still free, yet still “worthy” because they have a man on their arm.
Perhaps you do this too? If so, I’m here to tell you — don’t!
If partnering up is something you’re doing merely to avoid the “When are you going to find a man?” questions and the side-eye your great aunt gives you at the dinner table, then it’s time to flip the switch and look at being single as a gift, not a curse.
Here are five ways to say “Screw you!” to society and it’s outdated pressure on women by embracing and LOVING your single life:
1. Embrace your freedom.
You know that scene in “Brave Heart”?
The one where Mel Gibson yells “Freedom!!!” at the top of his lungs?
Well, your embrace of freedom is not as dramatic and brought on by torture, but it is as passionate.
Flying solo leaves you open to many — and any — possibilities, something that being partnered up does not.
Want to travel to Africa with the Peace Corps? Do it. Want to move to Iceland? Go ahead. Want to follow your dream job to NYC? What are you waiting for? Want to eat ice cream in your underwear while binge-watching reality TV? Pick a Ben and Jerry’s flavor.
2. Cultivate self-love (for real, not just faking it).
Your happiness begins and ends with one person — you.
Sure, there are things and people who can help it along, but when it comes down to it, the only person who can make you happy is you.
Cultivate a love for yourself and get to know what you truly want. This may include creating a structured ritual that you gift yourself daily or at night before you retire to bed. It could be affirmations of love or a daily gratitude journal to continually bring your focus back to the blessings in your life.