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Reactive Abuse: When You Can’t Stop Retaliating With The Narcissist

Reactive Abuse

When you are a victim of reactive abuse, it’s very easy to judge and shame yourself for behaving in the exact same way as your abuser. Carrying the burden of reactive abuse is a lot, and you don’t deserve it.

When you’re around someone toxic you’re being traumatized. This person treats you unfairly and accuses you unjustly – it feels senseless and deeply damaging.

They are triggering your greatest fears and insecurities. The toxic narcissist is keeping you in a state of anxiety, feeling like you’re going to lose love, security, and the ability to even survive what’s happening to you.

This abuse will eventually provoke horrible, emotional reactions that make you feel sick and under threat. You’ll lose your temper and may even physically lash out and retaliate against your aggressor … when this happened to me, I became a mental screaming lunatic banshee. I couldn’t even recognize the person I’d become!

Today I will teach you in simple and direct terms how NOT to react emotionally to the narcissist’s taunts. I also explain how to protect yourself, so they don’t cause you to unravel ever again by using your reactions against you.

They’re after A-grade narcissistic supply, so go ahead and watch the video or read the transcript to learn how to stop giving it to them and instead find your path to liberation and freedom.

Want to know more about what reactive abuse is? Check this video out below!

Reactive abuse and reactive abuse narcissist

I want to speak to the horrible, emotional reactions that you can have to the narcissist’s abuse. When you feel like you can’t stop reacting – things like the guilt of this, the repercussions of this, how the narcissist uses this against you, and how to inoculate yourself against having such emotional reactions in the future.

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Related: What Is Reactive Abuse? Everything You Need To Know About Reactive Abuse

When You Are Around Someone Toxic You Get Sick

We’re going to start off by talking about when you are around someone toxic, you get sick. Let’s get clear on this, of course, you’re going to get sick.

You’re being traumatized because what is happening is senseless, unfair, and it’s completely unjust. You’re being accused of doing things, and of being a person that you couldn’t even imagine thinking of being, let alone actually doing those things.

Your greatest fears and insecurities are being triggered. The narcissist is keeping you in a state of anxiety. You’re feeling like you’re going to lose love. You’re going to lose security. You’re going to lose the ability to be able to maybe even survive what’s happening to you.

You don’t need to be on a literal battlefield, dodging physical bombs and distractions to suffer the consequences of being on an emotional battlefield. You can feel like you’re fighting for your life, your Soul, and everything that is dear to you.

And these are the basic foundations, the absolute foundations of feeling solid, whole, and at peace. They’re really four things – love, approval, security, and survival. All of these things are under threat, and the fabric of yourself, and your relationship with yourself, life, and others are being compromised.

Right now, I want to give you a hug if you are on this battlefield, and you’re still in a battle with a narcissist. I want to give you a hug. I want you to say to yourself, “Of course, I’ve been triggered, and I’ve retaliated.” I want you to tell yourself that you forgive yourself because you were trying to survive.

Now let’s breathe deeply and put this into perspective. Can you negotiate with madness? Can you sit down, have an adult mature conversation with a toxic person, and come to an agreement that makes sense? That is a win-win, and is healthy for everybody involved?

Related: Reactive Abuse: They Call You Abusive for Reacting To Their Abuse

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Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans is a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the creator of the Quanta Freedom Healing method and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Melanie’s leading-edge healing methods have helped thousands of people make astounding full recoveries from toxic relationship abuse. Her work has now touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries worldwide and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. Melanie’s work is revolutionizing the old Model of Survivor Recovery to one of Thriver status. The free content Melanie offers on abuse recovery reaches close to 7 million people monthly on her website and across her numerous social media platforms and her reach continues to grow exponentially. In 2018, Melanie released her first book, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse - The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships which became an Amazon bestseller in days, and is now being translated into multiple languages. Free 16 Day Recovery Course – A Roadmap To Getting Clarity, Relief and Your Life Back On TrackView Author posts