7 Ways To Overcome Introvert Guilt And Embrace Your Inner Introvert

 / 

,
Overcome Introvert Guilt Embrace Inner Introvert

Do you feel guilty for being an introvert? Do you feel ashamed for choosing alone time over social interactions? Introvert guilt is a real thing and here’s how to deal with it.

Why introverts feel guilty

All introverts, including me, love their alone time. We love spending time with ourselves in our home and in our bed, reading, listening to music, watching movies, thinking & reflecting or just simply being. However, this blissful experience can often turn uncomfortable as we soon start feeling guilty about it. Of course, we love our family and friends and we do enjoy socializing at times, but incessant social invitations make us feel stressed and compelled to say ‘yes’. 

Marketing expert Marilyn Rogers explainsWhen you’re an introvert, it’s challenging to live in a world where extroverts set the social standards.” So we simply choose to bail out of these social gatherings. However, when we constantly keep declining countless invitations to parties, events and hangouts with people we love, it can often lead to an excruciating feeling of introvert guilt.

Professor and author Christina Berchini writesMeeting an introvert’s needs for quiet and privacy, for many extroverts, has become a zero-sum game. Moreover, meeting an extrovert’s needs, and failing to, can result in considerable guilt on the part of the introvert who fails.We end up feeling like a bad person for avoiding the people we care about, for disappointing them, for choosing our own company and not around others. We feel selfish, ashamed and downright terrible. And due to this guilt, we often end up in events and around people we would have just avoided otherwise. This can have a negative impact not just on our relationships with our friends and family, but also on our mental health.

Read also: 5 Reasons Why Introverts Love Their Bedroom So Much

Don’t be driven by introvert guilt

Introverts spend a great deal of time and energy feeling guilty,” writes introvert author, coach and entrepreneur Michaela Chung. For some unknown reason we tend to believe that enjoying our alone time is nothing but a selfish act. We believe that a selfish person is a bad person who doesn’t deserve to be loved. We often feel guilty for avoiding the social norms established for and by extroverts. In her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, author Susan Cain explains “Now that you’re an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners. Or you’re told that you’re “in your head too much,” a phrase that’s often deployed against the quiet.

So we struggle all the time between paying attention to our own needs for solitude and other’s needs for being social. This guilt often makes us wonder if we are a failure for not being able to enjoy the life that makes extroverts feel so alive. We wonder if something is wrong with us. “We feel bad for not being extroverted enough. Perhaps, our guilt pushes us to do things that we normally wouldn’t do.  Maybe good things happen as a result. Fine.  But do we really want guilt to be our primary motivator? We should be driven by our convictions, not by guilt,” adds Michaela.

We need to realize that being alone is a crucial aspect of our introverted being, says Michaela. When we allow introvert guilt to dominate our thoughts and emotions and influence our decisions, we fail to embrace our most authentic and genuine selves. Solitude allows us to recharge ourselves, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It allows us to face the extroverted world once more and overcome the challenges it throws at us.

Read also: Dear Empath. Do You Feel Guilty For Taking Care Of You?

How to deal with introvert guilt

If you want to overcome your feelings of guilt for being an introvert and enjoy your solitude, then here are a few ways to get started, as suggested by Michaela Chung:

1. Identify your guilt

If you want to cope with your guilt, then you need to start by finding the reason for it. Why do you feel guilty? Is it because you think spending time alone and avoiding others is a sign of selfishness? Do you think that repeatedly isolating yourself will alienate you from your friends, family and others? Do you believe that people will judge you for being who you truly are? Calm your mind and think about which particular aspect of being an introvert gives rise to your guilt.

2. Let go of negative beliefs

Once you have successfully identified the source of your introvert guilt, understand what particular beliefs you are still holding on to which drive your guilt. Recognize your beliefs that don’t serve you anymore and let them go. Irrespective of what you feel about yourself, unless you truly embrace your introversion, you will feel that you’re selfish and a terrible person, leading to more guilt. 

Read also: 5 Tips For Setting Healthy Boundaries As An Introvert

Michaela explainsUsually the worst thing that can happen is something that’s already happening – you feeling bad about yourself. At a certain point you see that it’s all in your head. No one has any real power over you. No one’s opinion of you matters more than your own.

3. Believe in yourself

One of the primary reasons for this guilt is that we do not accept our inner introvert wholeheartedly. We do not trust our introverted instincts, inner needs, dreams and desires. We don’t trust our own selves. Instead, we start believing what extroverts think about us. We fail to realize that we ourselves know what is actually best for us.

If you want to get rid of guilt, then have faith in yourself. And you can gain this trust only through evidence and practice. Michaela writes “Practice giving yourself what you need in small doses at first, and see how it feels. Snatch an hour or two of alone time here and there. Then try a whole evening, or weekend. It’s up to you to decide how much alone time feels good to you!

Read also: 10 Guilty Pleasures All Introverts Secretly Share But Won’t Admit To

Here are some other quick tips for dealing with introvert guilt:

4. Maintain relationships the way it works for you

If you prefer more intimate interactions than loud parties, then let your loved ones know that. Take initiative to meet your family and friends the way you find it convenient for you. You don’t have to force yourself to be more social, if you don’t want to. Do what makes you happy from within, in the real sense. 

5. Stick to a daily recharge routine

If you have your own family, then enjoying your solitude will surely lead to introvert guilt. This is why it is crucial to set a recharge routine that allows you to enjoy your alone time on a daily basis without ignoring your family or responsibilities. For instance, set 30 minutes apart for yourself each day and let your family know you will be unavailable during this time.

6. Practice mindfulness

Instead of wasting your time mindlessly scrolling through social media or unimportant activities, practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes everyday. This will help you connect with your inner self and find the peace you are looking for. 

7. Create a balance. 

The key to getting rid of introvert guilt and finding happiness as an introvert is to find a balance between solitude and socializing. Actively make some time to meet your loved one once or twice a week and you can enjoy the rest of your leisure time with yourself… guilt-free.

Read also: Why Socializing For Introverts Is Exhausting, According To Science

Acceptance is the secret

When you unconditionally accept who you are and embrace your inner introversion, you will see your introvert guilt disappear sooner than you can think. Accept that your alone time is valuable, but also understand that your friends and family need you to be with them at times. Accept yourself, but be responsible for others as well. If you do that, you can enjoy your solitude anyway you want.

Author and coach Michaela Chung concludes “Introverts have the right to make their own path and construct their lives as they see fit. Unless you’re hurting someone else, there’s no need to feel guilty about your preferences. That’s why they call them ‘personal’ preferences; you are not obligated to justify them to anyone else.

So if you want to spend an entire evening alone at home and not go to the hippest party in town, then that’s okay. It’s absolutely fine to enjoy your own company and not feel the need to seek attention from others. 

Read also: 4 Guilt-Free Steps To Deal With Guilt Trippers In Your Life

Here is an interesting video that you may find helpful:


Overcome Introvert Guilt Embrace Inner Introvert Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

“Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone?”: 7 Signs You Might Be Dealing With Phone Anxiety

Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone? Signs Of Phone Anxiety

Do you ever find yourself rolling your eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh when your phone starts ringing or buzzing? Do you feel dread at the mere thought of having to make or receive a phone call and try to find out how to avoid talking on the phone? If you’ve ever said these words to yourself, “Why do I hate talking on the phone?” with frustration, you’re not alone.

There are many people out there who feel the same as you, and hate talking on the phone. And it turns out, there’s a very valid reason behind feeling this way, and that’s phone anxiety.

Today, we are going to talk about phone anxiety and the signs you hate talking on the phone, so that the frequency of you asking “why do I hate talking on the phone” lessens. So, are you ready to know more about this? Let’s get started, then.



Up Next

How To Make An Introvert Miss You? 9 Simple But Thoughtful Things You Can Do

How To Make An Introvert Miss You? Charming Things To Do

If you are curious about the mysterious world of introverts and are wondering how to make an introvert miss you, then you have come to the right place, my friend. Today we are going to talk about how to tug at an introvert’s heartstrings and make them want to be with you.

Picture this: you’re sitting at home, wondering how to capture the attention of that introverted friend or crush. You want them to miss you and yearn for your presence just like you do. So, today I’m going to be your wing woman in navigating the art of captivating introverts.

Ready to know more about how to make an introvert miss you and some of the profound signs an introvert misses you? Let’s get started, then.

Related:



Up Next

The 8 Most Introverted MBTI Personality Types: Ranked From Most To Least

Most Introverted MBTI Personality Types: Most To Least

The MBTI personality types have always intrigued people, especially introverted people (I know because I am one!). Today we are going to talk about the most introverted MBTI personality types, and better still, we are going to rank them as per their level of introversion.

Let’s explore the most introverted personality types in the MBTI universe, and find out the secrets of these introverted people who find peace within their own selves and who flourish in their quiet worlds. Let’s get started, shall we?

Related:



Up Next

Supercharge Your Social Energy: The Ultimate Guide On How To Recharge Social Battery

Pro Tips On How To Recharge Social Battery And Revitalize

Do you find yourself mentally and emotionally drained after being around people, even if you like them? Do you often feel the need to rejuvenate yourself by spending some time alone? This happens when your ‘social battery’ is running low. What is a social battery and how to recharge social battery? Let’s find out.

What does Social Battery Actually Mean?

The idea of social battery refers to an individual’s ability to engage socially



Up Next

Why Introvert Extrovert Couples Make Great Parents: 8 Compelling Reasons

Reasons Introvert Extrovert Couples Make Great Parents

You know why introvert extrovert couples make great parents? They’re the perfect combination of yin and yang. Introvert extrovert couples work really well because where one person lacks, the other makes up in spades. And this approach reflects in their parenting skills as well. They have different ways of looking at things, and they give the best of both worlds to their children.

In this article, we are going to explore some of the major reasons why introvert extrovert couples make a powerful team when it comes to the battle of parenting their children.

So, if you are someone who is in an introvert and extrov



Up Next

The Introvert’s Guide To Confidence: How To Be A Confident Introvert

How To Be A Confident Introvert: A Step Guide

A confident introvert? Is that even a thing? Aren’t introverts supposed to be shy and meek? Well, no! Introverts can be highly confident, it’s just that the confidence introverts have is very different from that of extroverts. While they may still be shy and socially awkward, introverts can still be immensely confident in their abilities and skills. 

If you are an introvert, I am sure you have often preferred the solitude of being alone in the corner of a room than seeking attention in a party or in large crowds. I am sure you have felt misunderstood as people confused your peaceful and reserved nature for shyness or lack of confidence.

This is the story of most introverts. But does that mean introverts aren’t typically confident? Can introverts be confident? And how to be a confident introvert? We are going to explore all that a



Up Next

5 Reasons Why Introverts Go To Bed Early While Extroverts Stay Up

Reasons Why Introverts Go To Bed Early (Even If They're Not Sleepy)

Do you ever feel like the best part of your day is slipping into those comfy sheets early? Well, you’re not alone! Explore the five reasons behind why introverts go to bed early.

I know I’m not alone on this but bedtime isn’t just sleep for introverts. It’s the escape from a world of complete chaos. And diving into an early night isn’t something we regret — it’s a sweet haven that we secretly enjoy.

Sleeping early is a foreign concept to extroverts. The idea of it is ridiculous. “Why would I ever want to sleep so early when there’s always so much stuff going on?” They know that sleep is necessary, but they don’t want to get any.