Many use the silent treatment to manipulate and control. Narcissists use silence as a way of emotionally abusing, controlling, and tormenting their victims.
The use of and imposition of silence are two of the most powerful weapons in our abusive arsenal. Silence is easy to deploy and horrendously effective in securing our aims of compliance, control, and fuel.
Here Are 6 Ways Narcissists Use Silence To Destroy Your Soul
1. My Silence Is Always Meaningful.
You may sit quietly because you have no need to say anything. You may remain silent because you are listening to somebody else or just enjoying the silence. We do not allow silence to be used in such a passive and redundant fashion.
Our silence is used to convey contempt. It is used to draw concern and cause anguish in you. When we fall silent that pregnant pause is an indicator of the fury which will be unleashed against us. The longer silence is the imposition of our cold fury as you are banished to a sustained silent treatment. When we sit in silence we are not savoring the lack of noise, we are thinking, planning and plotting, calculating our next step.
Our silences are weapons, they are our operations headquarters, our defense against your critical wounding of us. We use silence to hurt you, warn you, scold you, and indicate you have overstepped the mark. Every silence has a meaning, it would be remiss of us to use it any other way.
2. Absence Makes The Silence Longer.
The deployment of an absent silent treatment where we remove ourselves from you, invariably with no warning or indication is a confirmation to you that this silent treatment will not be short-lived. The need to absent ourselves sends you a clear signal that we will be gone for some time. It is designed to have you come after us, try to contact us, and beg and plead so that you fuel us.
When we impose a period of absence by vanishing we are reinforcing how easily we are able to consider you gone from our lives. You may not even be able to contact us but we gather fuel from our knowledge that this sudden disappearance will cause you considerable consternation and worry. The absent silent treatment is also a key indicator that we are engaged in the seduction of a new prospect and providing this person with our false love and attention, which we have removed from you.
3. The Silent Gesture.
Our silences are not just occasioned by us not talking to you or absenting ourselves for a period of time. We deploy silence through gestures. We may not turn up when we have agreed to a date with you, in order to reinforce how you mean so little to us and that we have any number of more pressing engagements to attend to than dine with you in a restaurant.
Leaving you alone in bed, our side of the bed now empty and cold is also a hammer blow to your confidence and self-esteem as we choose the spare room, the sofa, or the bed of another in preference to being with you during the night. The silent telephone call from a withheld number used when we are hoovering you is designed to put you on edge. Is it us calling you this late? It must be mustn’t it, but you cannot be sure?
The failure to buy you a gift on your birthday, creating a gap that ought to have been filled stands out considerably and allows us to apply maximum hurt through such a silent gesture.