Narcissists Use Stonewalling
One of the best feelings for narcissists is when they get to stonewall their victims. Narcissists stonewall you because they know that it will hit all your weak spots and affect you to no end.
Stonewalling is a nasty and powerful defense mechanism narcissists use to painfully trigger you.
Let me show you how to get completely impervious to their stonewalling tactics so you can create your healthy life where people will validate you, meet you kindly and treat you with the respect that you deserve.
This way you won’t be provoked into reacting in an emotional way.
Want to know more about why narcissists stonewall you? Check this video out below:
We’re going to be covering why narcissist use stonewalling as a nasty and powerful defence mechanism, exactly how stonewalling affects you and why it is such a painful trigger.
As well as how to get completely impervious to the stonewalling tactic and create your healthy life where people will validate you, meet you kindly and treat you with the respect that you deserve.
All right, let’s get started.
Why Narcissists Use Stonewalling As a Nasty and Powerful Defence Mechanism
So let’s talk about why narcissists use stonewalling as a nasty and powerful defence mechanism.
Really, what this is about is to get control of a conversation. Because you see the thing is that you are confronting a narcissist, you are looking for accountability and you are wanting them to actually be responsible about something.
This is when it is going to trigger the narcissist into stonewalling you if that is the type of narcissist you are dealing with.
Usually, it is more the covert type of narcissist, the overt – the hot one – may rage at you instead. So with stonewalling narcissists, by refusing to participate in the conversation, which means that they may leave or they may just give you the silent treatment or they may literally abandon you – that invalidates you.
Really, a stonewalling statement is, “You don’t matter. I don’t care about you.” What it is also likely to do is to provoke you. By you reacting in an emotional way, this hands the narcissist the bullets to shoot you with because now this is your fault because of your reaction. This is how they can switch the blame.
So now we are not even on the topic of what they initially did to you, that you are asking for some accountability and responsibility or even an explanation about. Now, because of your reaction, you are to blame.
And no matter what you say, you may say, “You are not listening to me. Why won’t you answer me.” Then it will be something like, “Oh, here we go again (with the eye roll)”, or they will just go, “I do not have to be treated like this” and walk out the door.
So it is going to escalate your emotional trigger.
Exactly How Stonewalling Affects You and Why it is Such a Painful Trigger
Let us have a look at the next point, which is exactly how stonewalling affects you and why. In other words, why is it such a painful trigger.
Because the stonewalling is going to be in your experience if you have felt in the past that you are not worthy of somebody else’s attention or validation.
And what this is going to bring up for you are feelings of anger, “I am invalidated. I am not worthy of you recognizing how I am feeling or what you have done to me” and these are feelings of victimization, absolutely.
If you have been in a family where you felt like you were not seen, that you are invisible, this is exactly the type of tactic that the narcissist will use against you. Because in the early days when they hooked you they identified that you felt unseen and unmet and pretended to actually be in your life in spades, available to you.