Narcissists always have an ulterior motive when it comes to dating and being in relationships, and their wicked tricks don’t just start after getting into a relationship. A narcissist grooms you for love from the very first day they meet you as that is when their machinations start.
A narcissist always has an agenda, he or she is constantly on the lookout for someone to fill the void.
And when they hone in on their target the grooming process begins.
First they’ll take note of everything about you and ask probing questions all while flattering you.
Then they’ll use their chameleon-like qualities to become somebody that you’re immensely attracted to. They will mimic you and even mirror your body language to create powerful feelings of connection and trust.
This is a trap, so watch out!
Check this video out below to know how a narcissist grooms you for love:
I want to explain to you how a narcissist slips into a role of compatibility with you to groom you and how a narcissist will then fact find what he or she needs to. Then what the narcissist will shapeshift into to fully hook you and how and what you need to look for and how you need to conduct yourself whilst dating in order to not be in a narcissistic abusive relationship.
The Compatible Game
Let’s get going with the first point that I want to talk about which is the compatible game.
A narcissist will literally mimic you because the thing is, you’re going to be attracted to somebody who’s like you, so they pretend that they are like you.
They notice the way you act, the way you think, and the way you even converse. And if a narcissist has decided that they want to try to hook you and try you on as supply, they’re going to mirror you.
So, they might even start mimicking your body language the way you sit, the way you lean forward, they’re going to lean forward. Because what that does is it creates subconscious, very, very powerful feelings of connection and trust.
Related: How To Know If You’re Dating a Narcissist
Incessant Questioning
Then that will lead to the next stage, which is incessant questioning. But they’re not going to do it in a way that feels intrusive, it’s going to feel as if the narcissist is really interested in you. This is going to feel really validating.
So this person, he or she, will come across as caring, empathetic, and that they listen. And that’s very true because at the start a narcissist is listening and the reason they’re listening is not that they care about you, they’re listening because they’re fact-finding.
They’re asking questions to work out your style, what you like, what you don’t like, what are your dreams? What are your aspirations? What do you want in your life? And what has hurt you?
That point is really important to understand.
The Shapeshifter Act
Once the narcissist has gathered information, and it can happen actually very quickly, the narcissist will morph into the shape shifter.
This means that this person is going to present … they’re a chameleon. They can present however they need to be what you want, what you would expect, what you would like for somebody that you’re immensely attracted to. So, they can pretend that they love the things that you love, that they’re interested in the same things.
Or if they don’t know about it, they’ll say, “Oh my gosh! That’s something I’ve always been interested in. Would you show me more about that? Would you take me to do that with you?”
