How To Get Your Kids To Listen To You: 9 Helpful Tips

how to get your kids to listen to you

Wondering how to make your children listen to you more? Listening is a crucial communication skill that most parents struggle to teach their kids. Here are a few ways that will help you to get your kids to listen.

Listening Shouldn’t Be A Power Struggle

Most parents find it challenging to make their kids listen to them and obey their words. Not only can they be defiant and refuse to follow your instructions, but it can also even turn into a power struggle. As parents start to become more authoritative and raise their voices to make their kids react to them, the task becomes even more daunting.

However, as parents, we need to understand that listening shouldn’t be a battle or a task. It is an essential communication tool that is important for healthy child development. We want our children not only to hear what we are saying but also to understand us and identify the emotions behind those words.

According to research, empathic communication is the key to successful interaction with your children. Empathy enables us to consider the impact of how we are communicating and what we are saying on our children. When we are aware of our own communication patterns, we will be better able to connect with our children and help to build their listening skills. 

Related: 8 Ways To Slow Down and Connect With Your Children At Home

How Parents Speak Matters 

According to a 2013 study, the way we speak to our kids can significantly influence their learning & communication abilities. The study states “Our results reveal that caregiver talk has direct as well as indirect influences on lexical development.” Parents teach their children how they should talk, behave and act.

And the way we talk directly influences their development. It affects whether they listen to us or not and how they respond & react to what we say. When we communicate in an aggressive manner, it compels children to behave in aggressive ways, like yelling back, acting out, ignoring their parents, or even being afraid.

More exposure to child-directed speech not only provides more models for learning words but also sharpens infants’ emerging lexical processing skills, with cascading benefits for vocabulary learning,” adds the study.

But when parents speak in a softer, more passive manner using cautious words, this can make children ignore them. As parents become annoyed, they turn to aggression which can influence their kids’ mental health in the long run.

How To Get Your Kids To Listen To You: 9 Helpful Tips
How To Get Your Kids To Listen To You: 9 Helpful Tips

Communication with children and adolescents is an area that requires special attention,” explains a 2016 study. This is why it is important that parents are assertive yet empathic in their communication in order to develop the right listening skills in their children. Being assertive can enable you to be clear, firm, confident, consistent yet warm, and positive.

Being empathic and assertive is the most effective way to make your children listen to you, understand you. It also helps you to listen to them as well. A 2006 study explains “Children learn more from what they see, modeled than from lectures. Parents of argumentative children often fail to see that the children are just mirroring their behavior.”

Related: 4 Mentally Damaging Things We Say To Kids All The Time

How To Boost Your Kid’s Listening Skills

how to get your kids to listen
How To Get Your Kids To Listen To You: 9 Helpful Tips

If you are still wondering how to get your children to listen to you consistently while maintaining a positive flow of communication, then here are a few effective tips that can help you get started.

1. Get your kid’s attention

Shouting at your kids from across the room will not get the job done and most parents are aware of this. If you want them to listen, then you need to make them pay attention to you.

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