6 Psychologically Damaging Things Parents Say To Their Kids

 / 

,
6 Psychologically Damaging Things Parents Say To Their Kids

The psychologically damaging things parents say to their kids can cause long-reaching damage that extends to their adulthood.

Kids have fragile brains. If 10-year-old Jimmy bashes his head against concrete, heโ€™ll suffer greater injury than his 35-year-old dad would under the same conditions.

Most of us instinctively know that much. What we often ignore, though, is the fact that kids’ brains are not only physically more fragile but psychologically as well. Psychologists liken a childโ€™s brain to soft, impressionable Play-Doh.

When parents say hurtful things, a child cannot shrug them off and their formative mind suffers a huge blow.

Some of the psychologically damaging things parents say may seem harmless but they have the power to affect a child’s psychological development that will go far into his adult life.

Let’s find out what are the most mentally damaging things parents say to kids.

Related: The Unseen Scars of Parental Emotional Abuse

6 Psychologically Damaging Things Parents Say To Their Kids

1. โ€œYouโ€™re too sensitiveโ€

According to psychologists, many kids are simply born with a more finely tuned nervous system. As a result, they react quickly and intensely to just about everything. Parents of such kids often make the mistake of trying to wash that sensitivity out.

Over time, this throws the childโ€™s brain chemistry out of wack and reduces their ability to empathize with others. After all, if theyโ€™re taught that their emotions donโ€™t matter, why would they think anyone elseโ€™s does?

Child psychologists encourage parents to listen to and accept a childโ€™s emotions, even if they donโ€™t seem logical.

Damaging things parents say to their kids

2. โ€œThatโ€™s lifeโ€

When your child comes home upset because their crush rejected their dance request, it can be tempting to say, โ€œWell, thatโ€™s life.โ€ But remember though you may not think so, it is one of the most hurtful things parents say unwittingly. What that phrase suggests is, โ€œHey โ€“ your experience here is nothing unique, so suck it up.โ€

That might be totally appropriate to say to a 25-year-old under the same circumstances. But a childโ€™s brain is physically unable to grasp the fact that their experiences are not unique. When you tell them that, theyโ€™ll feel guilty, frustrated, and confused.

Instead, you should validate their experience and then encourage resiliency.

Related: Effects of Growing Up as an Unloved Child and How To Heal

3. โ€œBecause I said soโ€

I get it. Little Jimmy refuses to go to sleep at 8 pm unless he knows why. His mom, exasperated goes, โ€œYou wanna know why? Because I said so.โ€ This is another one of the bad things parents say to kids that impair their emotional development.

That is a terrible response. It tends to build resentment in children because it forces them to accept a dogmatic belief. This will inevitably lead to a power struggle when that child learns to come up with answers on their own that question their parentsโ€™ authority.

Instead, as frustrating as it might be, why not just answer the question? I mean, your parenting decisions are based on logic โ€“ why not share that with your child? It will help them understand that, sometimes, authority really does know best.

4. โ€œShut upโ€

Kids learn from a very young age that the phrase โ€˜shut upโ€™ is meant as an insult. And letโ€™s face it โ€“ the last person who should be insulting a child is their parent. Now, chances are youโ€™ve got a very good reason for telling your child to โ€˜shut up.โ€™

That reason is likely that youโ€™re overwhelmed. It happens. Your kid wonโ€™t stop singing Justin Bieber and itโ€™s really frustrating. Nonetheless, it is one of the psychologically damaging things parents say that affects the child’s self-esteem.

Instead of telling them to shut up, why not explain that โ€“ “Hey, mommy had a long day and sheโ€™d really appreciate some quiet?” Better still, give your child a chance to make all the noise they want and tell them that at โ€˜Xโ€™ time, they need to be quiet.

Related: 5 Ways Childhood Emotional Neglect Causes Depression in Adulthood

5. “You never” Or “You always” statements

Although children have behavioral patterns, telling them they “always do this” or “can never do that” not only diminishes their potential but also fails the parent to study the kid’s specific reactions in a given situation.

These are some psychologically damaging things parents say to channel their frustrations, which do no good to their kids’ development.

Psychologically damaging things parents say

6. “You should know better”

This is one of the mean things parents say to kids that seem completely harmless on the surface.

But when you say this to your kid, it sends the wrong message that they are not smart enough, that they really supposed to know something and it’s their fault that they don’t know what it is.

Instead, let your child participate in the process of finding a solution. “Let’s figure out this one” can be a loving and positive thing you can say to a child.

Related: Covert Verbal Abuse: Is Someone Telling You How You Should Feel?

Patience Is The Key

It’s quite clear that being patient and taking time before responding to your kid can be a game-changer. Some of the most damaging things parents say to their kids are not meant to cause the child any trauma, however, the things parents say to kids casually or out of frustration can be severely traumatizing for them.

What is the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child? That you don’t love or accept them as they are!

These were some of the most common examples of things parents say to their children that end up having a long-term effect on their mental health. Were you told any of these hurtful things as a child? Or are you in the habit of saying these things to your kid? Let us know in the comments down below!


Frequently Asked Questions

Why do parents say mean things to their children?

Parents often say hurtful things when they feel overwhelmed or exasperated. Some parents also say mean things because they are negligent of their kids’ emotional health.

What’s the worst thing a parent can say to their kid?

The worst thing a parent can say to their kid is that they don’t love or accept them as they are.

What are the things toxic parents say?

Toxic parents can say a number of things that negatively affect their child’s psychology, such as โ€œI wish you were never born”, โ€œI wish you were different.โ€, โ€œI wish I had an abortion”, etc.


Damaging things parents say to their kids pin
Psychologically damaging things parents say
Damaging things parents say to their kids all the time Pin
Psychologically damaging things parents say
Damaging things parents say to their kids  pin
Damaging things parents say to their kids  pin
psychologically damaging things parents say
mean things parents say to kids

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Jonathan challoner Avatar
    Jonathan challoner

    I love this stuff anything to move parents away from negative reactions with there children is a positive. That’s face it most perents are stressed out with other daily life things and children just add to it but if parents can stop for a moment and look most will see there children are also stressed out and they need us to be there for them and hapyness will follow if just ,till next time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

How To Become A Godparent

How To Become A Godparent: A Nine Tips To Spiritual Mentorship

Have you ever wondered what it means to be a godparent? Or how to become a godparent? Being chosen as a godparent is a significant honor, as it entails a lifelong commitment to supporting and guiding a child spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. 

It’s a role that holds great responsibility and offers an opportunity to form a unique and lasting bond with both the child and their parents. 

How to Become a Godparent

Want to know how to be a godparent? Today, we will explore the steps and considerations involved in becoming a



Up Next

Are You Raising a Manchild? 9 Motherhood Mistakes To Steer Clear Of

Are You Raising a Manchild? Avoid These Nine Motherhood Mistakes

Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with joy and challenges. But what happens when well-meaning mothers unknowingly make motherhood mistakes that result in raising a manchild? 

Letโ€™s delve into the world of maternal overprotection and emotional dependence to explore how they can shape a child’s future.

Motherhood mistakes and raising a Manchild

It is very important for mothers to be aware of some common mistakes that can unintentionally lead to raising a manchild. This is why shedding light on the negative



Up Next

What Is Emotional Incest:ย Understanding The Hidden Dynamics and Its Impact On Relationships

What Is Emotional Incest? Signs And How To Heal

Do you know what is emotional incest? It may sound like a strange term, but it refers to a type of relationship dynamic that can have profound effects on individuals involved. 

How often have we heard someone say, “I am my motherโ€™s confidante” or “My dad and I share everything”? While these statements may sound harmless, even commendable, they can sometimes point to a lesser-known and misunderstood psychological phenomenon – emotional incest or emotional incest syndrome.

Let’s  explore this often overlooked aspect of human relationships and find out the signs of emotional incest, effects of emotional incest and if healing from emotional incest is possible.

What is Emotional Incest?



Up Next

When Healthy Obsession Goes Too Far: Navigating ‘Almond Mom’ Traits

What Is An Almond Mom? Three Toxic Signs Of Having One

There is a TikTok buzz around “almond moms”? Is it really just about diet culture, or is there more to it? Let’s dive into the complexities behind these parents’ restrictive attitudes.

What Is An Almond Mom?

If you’re wondering , “What is an Almond Mom?”, well she’s not a nut, just a mom influenced by diet culture with restrictive eating habits. She’s all about healthy eating and body image, both for themselves and their daughters.



Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue โ€“ a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.



Up Next

How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Relationships? Shattered Innocence, Fragile Bonds

How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Relationships?

“For people with a trauma history, fear can be mistaken for excitement in intimate relationships. Unfortunately, a state of high anxiety can become the glue that binds people together in unhealthy relationship bonds.” ~ Glynis Sherwood, MEd

How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Relationships?

All humans are born with an innate psychological and biological need to receive consistent nurturing from parents. In this sense, strong attachment bonds are fundamental to the experience of being human and the survival of our species. As we are wired for closeness, our parental figures provide our first experiences of these crucial relationship ties.



Up Next

Guide For Long Distance Parenting: 5 Fun Activities To Strengthen Your Bond With Kids

Guide For Long Distance Parenting: Five Fun Activities and Tips

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s not uncommon for parents to find themselves physically separated from their kids due to work, studies, or other life demands. Yep, we’re talking about long distance parenting โ€“ a scenario that comes with its own set of twists and turns.

You see, while it might be necessary due to different reasons, it brings along a bag of unique challenges for both parents and their little ones. So, let’s dive into this article and unpack what happens when distance plays a role in parenting.

We’re talking about how it can affect your kids emotionally, how their cognitive development might