Are you one of those people who has never experienced their mother’s love? And the lack of a mother’s love has ended up affecting your life?
A mother’s love is something that should be evident, offered freely, and prized above many other things in life.
Yes, a father’s love is important, but it’s the mother who holds the newborn infant close and serves as the first real attachment.
To girls, the absence of a mother’s love is something so traumatic that it can’t be put into simple words. I had my mother’s love, somewhat, but I can see the frayed edges of how I almost didn’t.
I’m sure many of you think the relationship between a mother and a daughter is just natural, and definitely loving. Not all these relationships are normal, however.
Some young girls starve for the comfort and care from their mothers, a hug, reassurance, and a love that just isn’t there.
If these words are touching something deep inside of you, and suddenly you realize that maybe you didn’t have that love you needed, then you aren’t alone.
There are so many women who never experience this vital emotion and attachment needed to conquer life.
What you experienced in childhood, when lacking your mother’s love was an insecure attachment.
This attachment was manifested as either “ambivalent” (will good or bad mommy be here today?) or “avoidant” (I want love, but I’m afraid to seek it)-Either all relationships in the world are unreliable or there is always an opposition of wanting mother’s love and being afraid of her abuse.
It’s an anxiety-ridden corner of the human psyche-an an unhealthy place, to say the least.
Want to know more about how it feels when there is a lack of a mother’s love? Read Effects of Growing Up as an Unloved Child and How To Heal
Psychology of Attachments
In college, I studied basic psychology, where I learned that the first seven years of development framed who we are. This means, any form of attachment or otherwise, would form a template in the brain, one that could not be easily removed. Only by intervention, could these impressions be adjusted.
Later in life, we develop symptoms from a lack of healthy attachments. These symptoms point directly to the absence of a mother’s love. These are not normal, although you have probably believed them to be a part of your complicated character-untrue.
Here Are 5 Ways In Which Lack Of A Mother’s Love Affects Her Daughter’s Life
1. Lack of Trust is a primary symptom of the absence of a healthy attachment between mothers and daughters.
Adult relationships, whether romantic or otherwise will suffer greatly from doubt, fear, and anger, due to the inability to believe others.
If you couldn’t trust the person who gave birth to you, how could you ever trust someone you’ve known a couple of weeks, months, or even a few years?
2. What may first seem like low self-esteem can be something much worse than that.
The lack of nurturing at a young age and the constant criticism from your mother can cause you to have a distorted view of self.
If she said you were fat, you may grow up feeling overweight and if she said you couldn’t accomplish things, you might use that as an excuse to stop trying.
This is a powerful deterrent from normal life.
3. Lack of a mother’s love can hinder the development of healthy boundaries.
Damage in this area will make it difficult to say no, and difficult to trust. You may not be able to appreciate your own time enough to limit what you do for others, and you should limit at some point.
Boundaries are underrated and should be a stable foundation for your self-esteem.
4. If you’ve felt judged by your mother, then you may be sensitive to certain words or phrases.
It’s similar to having triggers which take you to an emotional state from the past. What seems like an insult to you, may just be a joke and a way to break the ice in conversation.
Years of emotional abuse soften the heart and leave little room for light-hearted fun.
Want to know more about how it feels to be neglected by your mother? Read The Lifelong Effects of Childhood Neglect By Parents