Things I Wish I Had Known Before Falling For A Narcissist

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Wish Known Before Falling Narcissist

He was charming. Infectious, even. But I was always just his prey. Tongue twisted. I was always tongue twisted. He was always catching me in “lies.”  The funny part was, I was never trying to be dishonest. Constantly berating me with questions and accusations. It never stopped.

If this sounds familiar and you think it’s going to stop – you are kidding yourself.

I have learned that once you start explaining yourself, you are allowing someone to question your character.

You are actually submitting yourself to their judgment without cause, forcing yourself to expend time and energy on efforts for nothing more than keeping someone’s ego at ease.

Related: Signs a Narcissist is Playing Mind Games With You

Stop.

They are deflecting your attention off of their own actions, and oftentimes putting it onto something completely unrelated to who you actually are or what you are actually doing.

More often than not, they are grabbing at straws and poking at things that may have happened in the past – or maybe even not at all.

Related: 5 Positive Traits In You That Attracts Narcissists

How do I know all of this?

I dated the devil for two years.

Saying ‘the devil’ may sound harsh to some of you, but not to those of you who understand what I have been through. After the abuse and the damage, it is the most accurate word that comes to mind. I might as well call it what it is.

I wish I had known certain things before falling for a narcissist!

He was charming, though. Infectious to someone like me. I believe I may be the protocol for a narcissist’s prey.

Related: How to Spot a Narcissist

I am a people pleaser, a perfectionist, and I, for whatever reason, require validation from the person I am romantically involved with. Maybe he could smell this, like a dog smells fear.

don't let anyone invalidate you

The moment that I should’ve known was the moment he began questioning my character, which was nearly immediate.

If he constantly badgers you for more information on your sex life: Stop. Now. Walk away.

I wish I had known this before falling for a narcissist!

What do you think?


Written by Rachel Fournier

Printed with permission.

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