Things I Wish I Had Known Before Falling For A Narcissist

Written By:

Written By:

Wish Known Before Falling Narcissist 1

He was charming. Infectious, even. But I was always just his prey. Tongue twisted. I was always tongue twisted. He was always catching me in “lies.”  The funny part was, I was never trying to be dishonest. Constantly berating me with questions and accusations. It never stopped.

If this sounds familiar and you think it’s going to stop – you are kidding yourself.

I have learned that once you start explaining yourself, you are allowing someone to question your character.

You are actually submitting yourself to their judgment without cause, forcing yourself to expend time and energy on efforts for nothing more than keeping someone’s ego at ease.

Related: Signs a Narcissist is Playing Mind Games With You

Stop.

They are deflecting your attention off of their own actions, and oftentimes putting it onto something completely unrelated to who you actually are or what you are actually doing.

More often than not, they are grabbing at straws and poking at things that may have happened in the past – or maybe even not at all.

Related: 5 Positive Traits In You That Attracts Narcissists

How do I know all of this?

I dated the devil for two years.

Saying ‘the devil’ may sound harsh to some of you, but not to those of you who understand what I have been through. After the abuse and the damage, it is the most accurate word that comes to mind. I might as well call it what it is.

I wish I had known certain things before falling for a narcissist!

He was charming, though. Infectious to someone like me. I believe I may be the protocol for a narcissist’s prey.

Related: How to Spot a Narcissist

I am a people pleaser, a perfectionist, and I, for whatever reason, require validation from the person I am romantically involved with. Maybe he could smell this, like a dog smells fear.

don't let anyone invalidate you

The moment that I should’ve known was the moment he began questioning my character, which was nearly immediate.

If he constantly badgers you for more information on your sex life: Stop. Now. Walk away.

I wish I had known this before falling for a narcissist!

What do you think?


Written by Rachel Fournier

Printed with permission.

Before Falling For A Narcissist
Wish Known Before Falling Narcissist Pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

8 Subtle Signs You’re Dealing with a Covert Narcissist (And How to Handle Them!)

Subtle Signs of a Covert Narcissist You Need to Know to Save Yourself

You may know how to spot a narcissist, but identifying a covert narcissist can be tricky. Here are some signs of a covert narcissist that you need to look out for!

At first glance, they might seem like the perfect friend or colleague, always willing to help and never asking for much in return. But as you spend more time around them, something starts to feel off. They subtly fish for compliments, often downplay their own achievements, but expect recognition in return.

And when they don’t get the praise they think they deserve, they may act hurt or withdraw but without openly saying it. Well, this person has the signs of a covert narcissist!

Up Next

6 Phases Of A Relationship With A Narcissist: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Relationship With A Narcissist Phases Of The Toxic Cycle

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with each phase presenting new challenges and realizations. These phases of a narcissistic relationship leave you questioning your self-worth. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship more effectively.

KEY POINTS

Narcissists may manipulate through observation and charm, creating a false sense of bonding.

These relationships have distinct phases, often involving a gradual, potentially traumatizing end.

Understanding these phases aids in healing and setting boundaries.

Up Next

8 Signs of a Petty Person That’ll Have You Saying, “Wait, Really?”

Signs of Petty Person Thatll Have You Saying Wait Really

Do you ever get that feeling that you are the lead actor in a soap opera you didn’t sign up for? Do you think you are dealing with someone who is petty, by any chance?The signs of a petty person aren’t always neon-lit, but once you spot them, you’ll wonder how you missed it.

From holding grudges longer than your Netflix subscription to being the Sherlock Holmes of social media stalking, petty people have a unique way of spicing up life (not always in a good way).

So how do you know you’re dealing with petty people? Let’s break it down and start with trying to understand who is a petty person.

Related:

Up Next

10 Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

So, who exactly is a “vindictive mother”? Well, it’s not just a mom who’s a little cranky or gives you the cold shoulder once in a while. We’re talking about those mothers who holds grudges, plays mind games, and never hesitates to make your life harder. Why? Because she can.

A vindictive mother is a malicious mother, who isn’t your regular parent—she is controlling, manipulative, and, at times, straight out cruel.

Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around her? If you answered yes, then chances are you have vindictive narcissist mother. So today we are going to explore what the signs of a toxic mum are and what you can do to handle her.

Related:

Up Next

Feeling Exhausted? 8 Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Have you ever hung out with someone and have left feeling like you just ran a 5k marathon without moving an inch? If you’re nodding along, this is just one of the many signs of an emotionally draining person.

These energy vampires are really talented when it comes to mentally exhausting you, even though you didn’t do anything but have a simple conversation.

Have there been times where you have felt completely wiped after a chat or hangout? Then maybe it’s time to figure out if you’re dealing with an emotionally draining person.

Today, we are going to talk about what is an emotionally draining person, the traits of an emotionally draining person and how to deal with an emotionally draining person.

Let’s start with what is an emotionally draining

Up Next

What Is Narcissistic Injury? 8 Signs And How To Dodge The Drama

What Is Narcissistic Injury? Signs And How To Dodge The Drama

What is a narcissistic injury really? You know that person who flips out over the smallest critique, like you just insulted their entire life? Or maybe they go into full passive-aggressive mode because you dared to disagree with them? Yeah, you might’ve walked right into a narcissistic minefield. 

When you cause a narcissistic wound, it can feel like navigating a relationship booby trap—one wrong move, and boom! Drama explosion.

But what is really going on here? Why do some people react like their world is ending over a tiny comment?

Let’s dig into the wild world of a narcissistic injury, what causes narcissistic injury, the signs of narcissistic injury and some good old examples of narcissistic injury.  

Let’s start with what is

Up Next

Inside Vulnerable Narcissism: Exploring Traits, Patterns, and Relationship Struggles

Vulnerable Narcissism: Traits, Patterns, and Mental Health

Have you ever been on the other side of vulnerable narcissism? What even is that, and what does it entail? Today we are going to do a deep dive into this world of narcissism and find out what it means to have a relationship with a vulnerable narcissist.

In the world of psychology, the idea of narcissism has caught the attention of experts and therapists. When you hear the word “narcissist,” you might imagine someone who thinks highly of themselves.

But not all narcissism is the same; there are different types. One kind is called vulnerable narcissism. This means feeling insecure and sensitive and thinking you’re better than others.

Related: