10 Attributes Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life  


Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life

Narcissism is far more complex than just vanity. Here are ten toxic narcissist signs and how you can identify their potentially toxic behavior.

Narcissists are everywhere.

They’re in your workplace, your school, and your community. They might even be in your home. Most narcissists are relatively harmless. They’re more selfish and self-serving than the average person, but they’re still capable of caring about others, which prevents them from doing too much harm.

Some narcissists, however, are toxic. They’re dangerous because they don’t play by the rules. They’ll lie, cheat, manipulate, threaten or attack in order to get what they want, with no concern about the casualties they leave in their wake. The only person they’ll ever care about is themselves.

It’s important to recognize the toxic narcissists in your life because they can do a lot of damage if you don’t identify them as soon as possible.

There are ten attributes of a toxic narcissist that everyone should be aware of. Knowing this might protect you from getting taken in by such a con artist, and hopefully, keep you from getting hurt.

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist
10 Signs Of A Narcissist: Toxic Traits Of A Narcissist

10 Signs Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life

1. They’re incapable of empathy.

They may pretend to care but they’re constitutionally incapable of doing so. It doesn’t bother them if they hurt you; they can even believe that you deserve to be hurt, for example, if you’ve gotten in their way.

Read The Science Behind The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

2. They’re unable to take responsibility for their actions.

They’re prepared to sink to depths you could never imagine, but they’ll always find a way to blame other people or make excuses for themselves. No matter how egregious their behaviour, it will never, ever be their fault.

In fact, when accused of wrong-doing, the toxic narcissist will become enraged and try to bully you into submission, or they’ll play the victim and accuse you of attacking them.

3. They’re overly entitled.

They feel like they have the right to do whatever they please, regardless of how others will be affected.

4. They expect special treatment.

They believe that they’re superior to the rest of us and deserve to be treated like royalty. Sadly, many people are taken in by their bloated over-confidence, believing that it must mean that they are special. They’re not. They’re just so convinced of their own hype that other people are taken in by it.

5. They become furious when challenged.

They become outraged when questioned or defied, and they’ll try to punish anyone who interferes with the pursuit of their goals. They don’t have the limits on their behaviour that normal people do, so their acts of retaliation can be extreme.

Read How A Narcissist Plays You And How Their Cycle Of Abuse Works

6. They can be charmingly manipulative.

They can be incredibly seductive but will turn to ice when you’re no longer useful. As long as you have something they want, they’ll pretend to care about you, but when you’ve outlived your purpose, you become irrelevant, perhaps even a liability.

If in the course of your acquaintance, you learn things about them that makes them feel vulnerable, you’re now a threat that needs to be silenced.

7. They’re incapable of sharing.

They see every person, object, opportunity or advantage in the world as a finite set of commodities to be consumed by them alone. If they perceive you as competing with them for this supposedly limited number of goods, they’ll project their own worst qualities onto you, and accuse you of being “selfish,” a “con artist,” or a “thief.” If you appear to be too much of a threat, they’ll do their best to cut you out of the competition.

8. They will attack if they feel that their territory is being encroached.

They always need to be in the position of greatest power. If you go head-to-head in competition with a toxic narcissist, whether it’s for a lover, a job, a political office, beware, because they’ll stop at nothing to win.

9. They will never love you but can fake it if they need to.

When they focus their high beams on you, you’ll feel like the most important person in their world, but it’s all an illusion. They’ll never do more than use you and when they’ve used you up, they can turn off their attention as abruptly as switching off a light.

For a toxic narcissist, being in a “relationship” is never about appreciating you for your unique qualities; it’s always about the advantage they gain by associating with you.

Read The Narcissistic Love Script: Why He Chose You and Why He Dumped You

10. They’ll always be unreasonable, insensitive, self-serving and inflexible.

They’re cold-hearted, intractable, immensely greedy and supremely self-absorbed. If you have a problem with their shockingly bad behaviour, they’ll accuse you of being hysterical, of imagining things or of being cruel to them. They won’t listen to reason and you’ll never be able to make them change.

Knowing these things about a toxic narcissist should help you identify those in your midst and hopefully, protect you from being yet another casualty of their cruel selfishness.

Please sign up here for my free monthly wellness newsletter. April is all about becoming empowered in life.

And check out my new podcast series. In episode two I talk with filmmaker and activist Matthew McLaughlin about masculinity and self-acceptance.

Being with a toxic narcissist can be emotionally and mentally draining for anyone. Even though, you cannot change them, knowing the attributes of a toxic narcissist can help you understand them and deal with them better.

If you want to know more about the attributes of a narcissist, then you might find this interesting:

Characteristics Of A Narcissist: 10 Toxic Narcissist Traits

Originally appeared on Marcia Sirota MD

If you’re a people-pleaser and can’t stop being nice, Check out Marcia’s upcoming book:

Be Kind, Not Nice: How to Stop People-Pleasing, Build Your Confidence and Discover Your Authentic SelfPublication date: December 1, 2016, on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com

toxic narcissist
10 Characteristics Of A Narcissist: Narcissist Traits

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist : Is There One In Your Life?  
10 Narcissist Characteristics: The Most Toxic Narcissist Traits
Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life pinex
10 Attributes Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life  
Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life pin
10 Attributes Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life  

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Krissy Montgomery


Older Comments
1 9 10 11

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Understanding The Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.


Adult temper tantrums are not necessarily physical but can still hurt a partner.

Adult temper tantrums can easily slip into domestic abuse.

Adult temper tantrums are destructive for the person having them and those they are directed against.

Some children have temper tantrums in response to unmet needs or desires. Tantrums are especially comm

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. It’s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

Maybe it was the feeling that something’s missing from your childhood, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Well you are not alone. Many people experience emotional neglect without even realizing it.

Today we are going to talk about the impact of emotional neglect in childhood, and what are the symptoms of childhood emotional neglect in adults. This isn’t just another list – it’s a chance to understand yourself and your emotions better.


Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic Manipulation: Sneaky Phrases That Signal Trouble

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are you curious to know the signs of romantic manipulation, and the things manipulative partners say?

Whether you’re navigating your own love life, or just looking out for your friends, this article will help you spot the subtle signs of emotional trickery. So, are you ready to dive in?


Up Next

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Have you ever heard of the term “flying monkeys” or “flying monkeys of the narcissist”? Who are they and what do they do exactly? This article is going to explore everything about who flying monkeys are and what role they play in narcissistic abuse.

‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf.

If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty.

If it’s after the relationship has ended or you’ve left that job or left that area, it’s a way of perpetuating the abuse. Again though, the abusers hands are clean as others are doing the work for them.


Up Next

4 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Have you ever worked with a toxic boss or toxic leader? If you have, then you know how horrible and malicious they really are, and if you haven’t, then read on to know the signs of a toxic leader so that it’s easier for you to understand what you are dealing with.


Poor, toxic leaders demand unquestioning loyalty and service to the leader.

Bad leaders rule by a sense of fear, both of outsiders and of the leader’s wrath.

Good leadership empowers followers, shows concern for them, and benefits the collective.

All too often, people fall prey to self-serving

Up Next

Eggshell Parenting Meaning: 5 Signs You’re Making These Mistakes!

Eggshell Parenting: Signs You're Making These Mistakes!

Parenting is one of the most sincere tasks in every individual’s life that should be done with utmost care and coherence. However, the relationship between parents and their children is often tampered by the mental, and behavioral issues of the parents.

Thus, mood disorders and the violent nature of parents can affect the child’s life. Eggshell parenting is one such consequence. In this blog, we will guide you to understand eggshell parenting and show you the risky spots you should avoid.

What is Eggshell Parenting?  

Up Next

Top 6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History and Their Psychology Unleashed

Top Most Notorious Serial Killers In History

Some of the most horrifying and notorious murder cases in criminal history are those in which the most notorious serial killers caused irreversible harm to society by their horrific deeds. Motivated by an intricate network of psychological, social, and frequently pathological elements, these infamous persons have perpetrated atrocities that persistently enthral and appal the public.

Every instance sheds light on the dark psychology of serial killers, from Ed Gein’s horrific acts to Ted Bundy’s deliberate and planned killings. Investigating these sinister tales reveals not only the specifics of their heinous deeds but also the patterns and reasons behind them, providing insights into one of the most ghastly aspects of human nature.

6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History