10 Attributes Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life  

Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life

Narcissism is far more complex than just vanity. Here are ten toxic narcissist signs and how you can identify their potentially toxic behavior.

Narcissists are everywhere.

They’re in your workplace, your school, and your community. They might even be in your home. Most narcissists are relatively harmless. They’re more selfish and self-serving than the average person, but they’re still capable of caring about others, which prevents them from doing too much harm.

Some narcissists, however, are toxic. They’re dangerous because they don’t play by the rules. They’ll lie, cheat, manipulate, threaten or attack in order to get what they want, with no concern about the casualties they leave in their wake. The only person they’ll ever care about is themselves.

It’s important to recognize the toxic narcissists in your life because they can do a lot of damage if you don’t identify them as soon as possible.

There are ten attributes of a toxic narcissist that everyone should be aware of. Knowing this might protect you from getting taken in by such a con artist, and hopefully, keep you from getting hurt.

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist
10 Signs Of A Narcissist: Toxic Traits Of A Narcissist

10 Signs Of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life

1. They’re incapable of empathy.

They may pretend to care but they’re constitutionally incapable of doing so. It doesn’t bother them if they hurt you; they can even believe that you deserve to be hurt, for example, if you’ve gotten in their way.

Read The Science Behind The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

2. They’re unable to take responsibility for their actions.

They’re prepared to sink to depths you could never imagine, but they’ll always find a way to blame other people or make excuses for themselves. No matter how egregious their behaviour, it will never, ever be their fault.

In fact, when accused of wrong-doing, the toxic narcissist will become enraged and try to bully you into submission, or they’ll play the victim and accuse you of attacking them.

3. They’re overly entitled.

They feel like they have the right to do whatever they please, regardless of how others will be affected.

4. They expect special treatment.

They believe that they’re superior to the rest of us and deserve to be treated like royalty. Sadly, many people are taken in by their bloated over-confidence, believing that it must mean that they are special. They’re not. They’re just so convinced of their own hype that other people are taken in by it.

5. They become furious when challenged.

They become outraged when questioned or defied, and they’ll try to punish anyone who interferes with the pursuit of their goals. They don’t have the limits on their behaviour that normal people do, so their acts of retaliation can be extreme.

Read How A Narcissist Plays You And How Their Cycle Of Abuse Works

6. They can be charmingly manipulative.

They can be incredibly seductive but will turn to ice when you’re no longer useful. As long as you have something they want, they’ll pretend to care about you, but when you’ve outlived your purpose, you become irrelevant, perhaps even a liability.

If in the course of your acquaintance, you learn things about them that makes them feel vulnerable, you’re now a threat that needs to be silenced.

7. They’re incapable of sharing.

They see every person, object, opportunity or advantage in the world as a finite set of commodities to be consumed by them alone. If they perceive you as competing with them for this supposedly limited number of goods, they’ll project their own worst qualities onto you, and accuse you of being “selfish,” a “con artist,” or a “thief.” If you appear to be too much of a threat, they’ll do their best to cut you out of the competition.

8. They will attack if they feel that their territory is being encroached.

They always need to be in the position of greatest power. If you go head-to-head in competition with a toxic narcissist, whether it’s for a lover, a job, a political office, beware, because they’ll stop at nothing to win.

9. They will never love you but can fake it if they need to.

When they focus their high beams on you, you’ll feel like the most important person in their world, but it’s all an illusion. They’ll never do more than use you and when they’ve used you up, they can turn off their attention as abruptly as switching off a light.

For a toxic narcissist, being in a “relationship” is never about appreciating you for your unique qualities; it’s always about the advantage they gain by associating with you.

Read The Narcissistic Love Script: Why He Chose You and Why He Dumped You

10. They’ll always be unreasonable, insensitive, self-serving and inflexible.

They’re cold-hearted, intractable, immensely greedy and supremely self-absorbed. If you have a problem with their shockingly bad behaviour, they’ll accuse you of being hysterical, of imagining things or of being cruel to them. They won’t listen to reason and you’ll never be able to make them change.

Knowing these things about a toxic narcissist should help you identify those in your midst and hopefully, protect you from being yet another casualty of their cruel selfishness.

Please sign up here for my free monthly wellness newsletter. April is all about becoming empowered in life.

And check out my new podcast series. In episode two I talk with filmmaker and activist Matthew McLaughlin about masculinity and self-acceptance.


Being with a toxic narcissist can be emotionally and mentally draining for anyone. Even though, you cannot change them, knowing the attributes of a toxic narcissist can help you understand them and deal with them better.

If you want to know more about the attributes of a narcissist, then you might find this interesting:

Characteristics Of A Narcissist: 10 Toxic Narcissist Traits

Originally appeared on Marcia Sirota MD

If you’re a people-pleaser and can’t stop being nice, Check out Marcia’s upcoming book:

Be Kind, Not Nice: How to Stop People-Pleasing, Build Your Confidence and Discover Your Authentic SelfPublication date: December 1, 2016, on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com

10 Characteristics Of A Narcissist: Narcissist Traits

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist : Is There One In Your Life?  
10 Narcissist Characteristics: The Most Toxic Narcissist Traits
Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life pinex
Attributes of A Toxic Narcissist In Your Life pin
Ads

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Krissy Montgomery

    4

Older Comments
1 9 10 11

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasn’t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect façade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque



Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, we’ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall



Up Next

Under The Narcissistic Veil: The Struggles Of Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers

Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding Their Struggles

Having a narcissistic mother is, safe to say, one of the most traumatic things to go through. Sons of narcissistic mothers look at the world and relationships in an entirely skewed way, and this is due to the lessons they have learned growing up with a narcissistic mother.

KEY POINTS

The worldview of a young man whose mother has narcissistic personality disorder becomes skewed.

NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, among other traits.

Once one have been gaslit, they may always suspect the people they are close with may be ho



Up Next

How Men Suffer From The Lack Of Maternal Love And Affection When Raised by Unloving Mothers

How Men Suffer From The Lack Of Maternal Love

It is a commonly accepted belief that motherly love and affection are essential for the healthy development of a child. However, research suggests that a lack of maternal love and affection can have particularly negative effects on men.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men who reported having a lack of maternal love and affection during their childhood were more likely to exhibit symptoms of depression and anxiety as adults, compared to men who reported having a warm and loving relationship with their mothers.

Similarly, ano



Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or it’s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, we’re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults – those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

Picture it like a hidden script influencing your responses. But fear not, understanding these signs of repressed childhood trauma can empower you to reclaim control.

So, grab a metaphorical flashlight as we navigate through the shadows of the past, unveiling the clues that migh