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7 Secrets For A Successful Introvert Extrovert Relationship

Secrets For A Successful Introvert Extrovert Relationship

Despite their differences, an introvert-extrovert relationship can be one match made in heaven.

The story goes something like this.

A calm-preferring person, who gains their energy from retreating, meets an exuberant energy-rich person who likes to steep themselves in the world, and falls in love. There’s no looking back after that.

Related: What Makes Letting Go Hard for an Introvert

The roller-coasting Adrenalin rush and butterflies in the stomach initially soon give way to frustration that runs the danger of building to a point that it can explode one day.

Welcome to the classic introvert-extrovert relationship. It has a real shot at being successful only if one knows how to negotiate a space that can be called complex.

Both introvert and extrovert were terms coined by the renowned Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung in the early 1930s, after which curiosity rose about these personality types and how they process the world around them.

In a study conducted by Cornell University researchers in 2013, it was discovered that the extrovert brain produces more dopamine than the introvert brain.

introvert extrovert relationship

This means that how the former feels rewarded through the simple acts of eating, loving, having sex etc. is very different from the latter. Is it then any wonder that most extroverts tend to respond in superlatives, while introverts may come across as a lot more inward and withdrawn.

What causes strife in an Introvert-Extrovert relationship?

Various research and establishments have somehow thrown up similar results about the essential behavioral difference between introverts and extroverts.

According to researcher Scott Barry Kaufman, words such as “food”, “sex”, “money” and “social status” are deeply wired into the human genome.

However, the impact that these words have on an introvert and on an extrovert, is very different. The brain of an extrovert fires far more easily at the anticipation of repetitive rewards, in comparison to their introvert counterparts.

When they come in relationship to one another, some major differences such as the following crop up:

1. Disagreements around plans

introvert extrovert relationship

It’s a known fact that extroverts find value and worth in being connected to the world. Depending upon context and the nature of the person, this connection could be to work, friends, going out often, growing personal and professional network etc.

For an introvert though, rejuvenation comes from spending time alone or with a trusted few.

Related: 5 Things That Makes An Introvert Happy

Thus, in an introvert-extrovert relationship, this difference of wanting to connect and wanting to cut back can often present itself as a big problem. 

2. Disagreements around space

Almost as an extension to the previous point, is the kind of disagreements introverts and extroverts tend to have over the topic of “space”.

It’s not uncommon for an introvert to want a room that’s akin to a den, all to themselves. Whether it is to spend time working or taking rest, introverts prefer to be left by themselves.

Extroverts, on the other hand, driven by the connection that they are, like to be around people and are more easily welcoming of intimacy.

This basic difference can wreak havoc in an introvert-extrovert relationship as soon as the initial sheen wears off.

What can you do differently in your Introvert-Extrovert relationship?

Now that you know differences are a given in such a personality equation, the question is, is there something you can do about it?

Turns out the answer is yes and that with a little patience, you can go a long distance as well.

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Sunanda Pati

Sunanda Pati is a certified expressive arts therapist and facilitator and a freelance creative writer. Having developed an early interest in psychology and later various forms of bodywork, she has actively worked in knowing her own inner world and processing various traumas. She believes every person is blessed with an endless reserve of inspiration, courage, and wisdom. Sunanda lives, writes, practices, and facilitates in Bangalore, India. More of her writings can be found at Gaia Comes to the City. She also runs an expressive arts initiative of the same name (Gaia Comes to the City), which can be found on Facebook.View Author posts