“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.”
~ Laurie Helgoe.
It’s not easy to find love but for introverts, it’s more than just being difficult. It’s draining and exhausting which is why most of them fail in dating. Here are the reasons:
(1) You need to recharge yourself more often:
You can take a day off after spending the night with your friends because you need to recharge yourself to get out into the world again. But for someone you haven’t met, you need a lot more than that. It’s hard for you to give up your ‘me-time.’
(2) You can’t just go out on dates with random people:
No Tom, Dick and Harry stuff for you! You can’t go out and meet people you don’t even know and have no emotional connection with. You need a special connection in order to meet that person because you don’t want to waste your time behind someone you don’t see a future with.
(3) You think too much:
You have already met that person in your head. You have imagined conversations with them, you have imagined every possible situation with them and you have a date coming up. What to do now? You have your pet to spend your real time with.
(4) You need to be in the right mood:
Being an introvert is not easy. You always go through some mood swing or the other. You think, you analyze and you have yourself to discuss everything with. You are restless most of the time and you would never want to disclose your vulnerability to the person you are going to meet. Hence, peace of mind is what you need when you go out on a date. In your case, that’s pretty rare.
(5) You can’t engage in small talk:
You are not the type of a person who would entertain small talks. It’s something you are scared of. You need time to settle down with the person and have deep conversations. Going out on a date and having small talks freaks you out. You would better stay alone.
(6) You get misunderstood very easily:
You take time to respond. You think too much about the appropriate responses and then come up with the best possible solution you can find. This takes times and the other person often finds it as a sign of disinterest. They might even consider you as someone who is rude or cold because you didn’t reply without understanding the fact that you are just buying some time.
(7) You stay away from crowded places:
A crowded place is the last place on this planet you would rather visit. Unfortunately, most first dates take place there only. Parties, bars, fests freak you out. Hence, you have only one option left! Just stay at home all by yourself.
(8) You are always looking for an excuse to cancel plans:
You have everything planned but your anxiety never fails to visit you on ‘The Day’. You can’t help yourself and unable to withstand the chaos, you simply cancel plans.
(9) You are always busy trying to figure out the perfect responses:
What you fail to understand that there’s no things as a ‘perfect response.’ You analyze and analyze trying to think of that response which makes it pretty difficult for you to start or continue a conversation. And any possibility of a date ends right there.
(10) You can’t speak up for yourself:
What you find most difficult is speaking up for yourself. You fail to make the other person understand what’s going on inside your head. This makes it very hard to establish a bonding.
(11) You feel insecure of the circumstances:
You don’t say much but you’re extremely insecure about the circumstances which is why you think too much. In order to avoid the insecurity, you simply avoid the situation.