Why “Induced Conversation” Is A Narcissist’s Most Powerful Weapon


Have you ever heard of the term, ‘induced conversation’? It’s one of the most powerful weapons in a narcissist’s arsenal and a weapon that has the ability to suck you back into their darkness.

The most effective of all the narcissists’ manipulative strategies is “Induced Conversation.” Especially when breaking down a no-contact initiative or when trying to hoover (suck back into the relationship) the codependent.

For codependents to not get sucked back into the relationship that has nearly destroyed them, they must have potent counter-measures to survive the narcissist’s induced conversation strategies.

ODA And The Wrestling Ring

The meaning behind the George Bernard Shaw saying, “never wrestle with a pig, you’ll get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it!”, goes hand-in-hand with my Observe Don’t Absorb (ODA) technique. And this approach requires filtering out the power of narcissists over their codependent or SLD (Self-Love Deficient) prey.

Any sort of reaction to a narcissist whether you are fighting or just defending yourself can cause you to end back up in that wrestling ring. Remember, the narcissist wrestler lives and breathes the wrestling ring. They know every square inch of it. In fact, their ability to manipulate people requires them to bring other people into the wrestling ring to outmaneuver, out power, out manipulate, and outthink anyone who tries to defend themselves from their attacks.

Let’s examine how you can stay out of the wrestling ring once and for all.

Related: How To Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone: 8 Smart Ways

How to Stay Out of the Narcissist’s Wrestling Ring

As a counselor, I teach people to how to stay out of the wrestling ring. In this case, we are mainly talking about the emotional wrestling ring, but also the physical wrestling ring.

The physical wrestling ring includes the things you do or do not do to engage the narcissist. The emotional wrestling ring is what goes on in your head and heart.

One way you can stay out of the physical wrestling ring is simply by not talking to the narcissist. Avoiding all contact through emails, text messages, etc. is one of the best ways to reduce contact. However, you can still keep them in your head, hearing their gaslit narrative, including their comments about you, over and over, with or without them around.

If they stay in your mind, your strength and ability to break free from the relationship and survive narcissistic abuse is weakened.

So, how can you overcome this? The primary defense strategy that I teach people when introducing the ODA technique is to fully understand the power of induced conversation.

protect yourself from induced conversation
Why “Induced Conversation” Is A Narcissist’s Most Powerful Weapon

Induced Conversation And How It Affects You

Induced conversation is the primary weapon that the narcissist wrestler uses to maintain their power and control over you. As you begin setting boundaries, breaking off the relationship, and even utilizing the ODA technique, you will fail if you do not understand what is at stake for the narcissist. Remember, their number one goal is to keep you in the wrestling ring.

Narcissists are nothing by themselves, despite what they may tell themselves. They need you like they need oxygen to live. Internally, they are filled with insecurity, shame, and dread, regardless of if they are conscious of it. Most narcissists can’t become aware of these internal battles.

There may be rare moments where they can connect with their shame, such as moments when they meltdown, beg, plead, and promise you everything so they can keep you in their life. However, that window closes quickly and is unlikely to reopen. They simply are oblivious to their darker sides and their shame.

Induced conversation is what keeps them in control of the relationship. It is how they command their powers and control strategies. After all, if they can get you to respond, defend yourself, or argue, you will be right back in the wrestling ring with them.

To wield this power, the narcissist has to get you to talk to them first. If you try to go no-contact, the only way for them to get back into your life is through induced conversation.

Related: Word Salad: How and Why Narcissists Try to Confuse You With Circular Conversations

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Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC

Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, and Trauma Treatment. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio. His “The Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 120K copies and are translated into 10 languages. His YouTube Channel has amassed 19 million video views and over 200K subscribers.View Author posts