Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed!
We all have different expectations from life, from situations, from people and even from ourselves. But time often proves that expectations lead to disappointments and heartache. Let go of expectations and you will not only avoid the pain, but also empower and free yourself of your own limiting beliefs.
We are somehow programmed to have expectations, perhaps from our parents, our social groups, media and some are simply self-created. Today, with endless opportunities to compare our lives with others and make it better than others, we unnecessarily create expectations that might not even align with our values. This has created an unnecessary burden of unrealistic expectation that will lead to nothing else other than suffering and disappointment.
A heart full of expectations lives only a heavy life.
One of the cardinal requirements of life is the need to feel that we are safe, physically and emotionally. When that feeling of safety is challenged and we have to face life the way we did not expect, he feel heartbroken and disappointed.
It often starts really small that we even fail to notice it until it shoves us into a dark scary place where we feel suffocated and desperately look for a guiding light. We start wondering ‘what if’ we did this or did that, things would have turned out just the way we wanted. Our mental health gets affected and our quality of life spirals out of our control.
The thing is, regardless of how hard you try to write the story of your life, life itself will have a plot twist that will put you in the corner of that dark place.
Let there be light.
When you start observing life for it truly is, you will see the light inside your mind’s eye. Life is not a linear path like we expect. Instead life is a series of unexpected cycles that start and end when we least expect it. No matter how hard you try to hold on to a particular life cycle, it will end when it has to, and a new life cycle will begin. This is how it is. These are the moments where the biggest changes happen in our lives and we are often forced to change tracks so that we can be exactly where life needs us to be. We will feel heartbroken, disappointed, frustrated, angry, ashamed and a bunch of other mixed emotions.
Why did it happen to me? I worked so hard for it. I did everything I needed to. Things were going so great. Is this what life has in store for me?
Life is unfair. You can’t do anything about it. You will feel vulnerable, demotivated and afraid. It will hit your confidence level hard. But you will rebound and fight back eventually. That is the very nature of the human spirit. We all have the strength to reclaim life despite how much chaotic it may be right now. Granted, life will not be what it was before. But when you let go of expectations, you will open yourself up for a new cycle full of endless possibilities.
Let go and accept change.
Life is full of challenges. You know that already. You also know that we often resist to face challenges and try to hold on to the past desperately hoping that things will remain the same. But despite how much we resist change, life will compel us to mature and grow. When you face significant life crisis like loss of a loved one, heartbreak, divorce, unemployment or a health crisis, it shatters our expectations from life. The life you have imagined so passionately will never happen no matter how hard you try.
This can shake up your beliefs and change us as a person. But you will get your emotional strength back and move forward when you least expect it. And that is the secret to happiness, having no expectations. Expecting an outcome from an event or expecting a person to behave in a certain way, only ties us to an imaginary world that we create inside our heads. Expectations can make us so far removed from reality that we can often refuse to see the truth until it hits us in the face.