What it means being controlled by pain, shame and fear of judgement…
We are in unique times, where past hurts and insecurities are coming up to the surface, currently on a daily basis, for us to clear. We are also in times where we can address the roots of these pains and either let them go or simply acknowledge the lessons they offered.
One such thing that causes incredible insecurity and suffering is the shame bought on by judgement. Fearing the judgements of others, as well as the judgments we place on ourselves, has kept us imprisoned more than we probably realize. Until we recognize this, we will continue to alter our behavior patterns to fit in with others’ expectations, and not be true to ourselves.
The fear of judgment not only hinders authenticity, pushing us to alter opinions and beliefs to align with mainstream narratives, it also holds us back from following dreams and reaching potentials. Living as a ‘people pleaser’ or ‘the nice guy’ may seem like the best way to keep the peace, but if we are being untrue in these actions we are simply holding ourselves back.
We are in times where being authentic is so important. Let’s face it, the old world has been pretty much built on lies. To live more authentically, we have to face the truth and this means recognizing how the fear of rejection, shame, and a desire to ‘fit-in’ has altered our actions and ideas.
How This Works
The fear of judgement and rejection work hand-in-hand
When we don’t share the truth of who we are, for the fear of being judged or rejected, we end up burying parts of ourselves. We cannot be true if we hide who we are.
For example, as Empaths, we might not want to share our ‘Empathic traits’ because it gives reason for others to judge and reject.
Those of us who are Sensitive, feel the judgements of others, even when unsaid or hidden behind fake positivity. If these judgements trigger buried feelings of shame, which causes old wounds to reopen, we will work even harder to avoid being judged. Which often means locking ourselves down to others and becoming impenetrable.
Caring about others’ opinions creates a prison for both the body and mind, and blocks authenticity.
As humans, judgements are systematically threaded in to our core. Even if it is just to assess whether a certain person is safe or trustworthy.
It is ok to live a life other don’t understand
Assessing a situation or person, for safety reasons, is normal and can prevent unnecessary suffering. However, living in fear of judgement not only makes us afraid of speaking our truth, we might also hide our creative side for being shamed about not being good enough. Our gifts then stay hidden away and we don’t allow new ideas in.
We are Controlled by Pain and Shame
We all carry emotional pain that is locked up in shame. By its manipulation, good people are controlled by the ‘powers that be.’ They pigeon hole us. Telling us we need to follow the same agenda, have the same opinions and education.
But, as I’ve said many times before, we are all different, with different outlooks and needs, even as Empaths. We are supposed to have freedom of speech and thought, yet, those who don’t agree with the mainstream narratives are often vilified or shamed in some way.
No one wants the agony that is triggered by humiliation. This is why so many live in the fear of judgement. And this is what holds many people back from taking chances in life and living in their truth.
I believe a big reason why Empaths ‘freeze’ around inauthenticity is because it’s a constant reminder that fakery and pretence does not promote growth, especially when it is used for manipulation. Lying and living inauthentically is cheating at life. It’s also following the ‘easy path.’