5 Reasons Why You Hate People According To Psychology

Why You Hate People According To Psychology

2. You are afraid of others

We are often afraid of people who are different from us. Even though you might not admit it, when someone shares different views, perspectives, opinions, beliefs, attitudes, mentality and even physical features, we tend to hate them. Why? Simply because they are different, says licensed psychotherapist and author Allison Abrams, LCSW-R. She explainsAccording to A.J. Marsden, assistant professor of psychology and human services at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida, one reason we hate is because we fear things that are different from us.

This is perhaps due to the in-group out-group theory according to behavioral researcher Patrick Wanis. In social psychology, the social group which you can psychologically relate with and identify yourself as being a member of is an in-group. Contrarily, the social group with which you can’t personally identify is an out-group. So, when you feel that there is a threat from certain outsiders, you will seek the support of your in-group. Hence, hatred is a survival mechanism as per the psychology of hate.

Considerable evidence suggests that dividing the world into Us and Them is deeply hard-wired in our brains, with an ancient evolutionary legacy,writes author Robert Sapolsky. He adds “Humans universally make Us/Them dichotomies along lines of race, ethnicity, gender, language group, religion, age, socioeconomic status, and so on. And it’s not a pretty picture.

Patrick Wanis explains, “Hatred is driven by two key emotions of love and aggression: One love for the in-group – the group that is favored; and two, aggression for the out-group – the group that has been deemed as being different, dangerous, and a threat to the in-group.

Read also: 6 Ways To Stop Hating Men

3. You are afraid of yourself

When we feel insecure about our own selves and are unable to accept our own flaws, deficiencies and imperfections, we start to cope with those insecurities by blaming and hating others. Clinical psychologist Dana Harron says that what we tend to hate about other people are the exact things we are afraid of ourselves. We use the targeted person or the group of people we hate as a blank canvas upon which we project those parts of ourselves which we refuse to acknowledge. It’s like we telling ourselves that “Nothing is wrong with me, it’s you who is terrible.

This is known as psychological projection which is a defense mechanism we use subconsciously to deal with complex and difficult emotions. It includes projecting our undesirable feelings onto another person, instead of accepting or coping with such unwanted emotions. It is our need to project our bad aspects outwardly to see ourselves as good, says Allison Abrams, LCSW-R.

Following the psychology of hate, psychologist Brad Reedy explains “We developed this method to survive, for any ‘badness’ in us put us at risk for being rejected and alone. So we repressed the things that we thought were bad (what others told us or suggested to us that was unlovable and morally reprehensible) – and we employ hate and judgment towards others. We think that is how one rids oneself of undesirable traits,” but this strategy can often result in various mental health problems.

Read also: How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest Core Wound

4. You lack empathy

Empathy is our ability to put ourselves in someone else’s position. When we have our own perception of how things should be and we are strongly set in our ways, then it can be difficult for us to accept and understand others’ point of view. We become incapable of feeling or understanding what others are experiencing from their point of view. Lacking empathy is another reason for hating people according to the psychology of hate.

Writer and editor Ladan Nikravan Hayes explains that one of the basic reasons why we hate and dislike people “is the aspect of human cognition to see the world through one’s own eyes. Even those of us who try to have a healthy tolerance of different viewpoints occasionally catch ourselves thinking: ‘How in the world can you believe what you’re saying?’ Disagreements can manifest as outright dislike.

5. You lack self-compassion

When you lack compassion for yourself, you will lack compassion for other people as well. Loving kindness and compassion is the solution to hatred, according to the psychology of hate. When you practice self-compassion, you begin to accept yourself as you are and that empowers you to accept others without feeling the need to change them or dislike them.

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65 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why You Hate People According To Psychology”

  1. I dont hate people, I just could not care about them.
    I dont have friends because I never bother and I forget peoples faces as soon as I dont see them regulary I dont remember them. I love being alone, I love freedom to do what I like when I like. People restrain my freedom in every way, I cannot cope with that and I hate being lonely and thats what people around me make me feel like, lonely, tyred and bored. People are a drain on my energy and a negative impact on my overall health. I detach myself from society in every possible way because society is evil and couses only suffering, people couse suffering and Im not willing to suffer!

    1. That sounds Terrible, & a hard scenario to ponder, the loneliness unfortunately will more than likely become a catch-22 later in life…. as in; it may help you feel good now in life and give you an energetic feeling of ambition- but later leave you tired, rundown & angry as well as lost. 🙁 |)??

      1. No, the blessing of solitude and silence, in mind and heart can never leave you run down nor lonely!
        The noise, suffering and drama coused by people, the draining of the mind and energy that is what leaves you lonely, bitter and increadibly angry. As soon as there is someone else around your freedom is restricted and your energy drained. People are poisson. When your alone you can never experience lonelyness, lonelness can only be experienced in the presence of people!

    2. I relate to this massively. A drain on my energy. Now I am not arrogant in saying this, I have many faults, but I am more perceptive and intelligent than most people. Not an intelligence that is necessarily associated with great intellect, but one that enables me to see what others cannot. I was never really aware that this was even an attribute I possessed, I just believed all would see things in the same way, without prejudice or judgment, and I am not suggesting that my way is the only on all matters, but more so seeing the morally right thing to do and understanding how my actions can influence others, and being careful in the way I interact with people. A pertinent example now, I moved to Finland with my girlfriend, and I am hearing my neighbour argue because of a car parking space being taken (despite others being available, just not his) and back home in the UK, there are people still caged in their homes, suffering, dying. I cannot understand the mentality of someone who would invest so much time and energy into something so trivial and meaningless, and doing nothing to contribute positively in this world. These same people claim they have no time for others, yet they can find time for menial and quite pathetic pursuits of redundancy. I am not sure I ever want to relate to that kind of perspective, yet I am the one forced to as I am the one who accommodates others, I get hurt trying to help because people don’t know how to help themselves so they hurt others, fortunately I am strong enough, but what about those who are not?

      I do believe we have grown beyond our means and mentally we are devolving, for the pursuit of money and success seems to take precedence over all else, and anyone with half a brain surely recognises that money brings nothing but pain and anxiety, well having too much anyway. But to propagate this ideal, we have created the need for money in so many of us that even those that would shun the whole concept, are trapped by it out of necessity. We look at Christopher McCandless, the protagonist of Into The Wild as some great hero who was brave enough to live by his own means, something that would be now impossible nearly 30 years later. But what this man learned is actually that we need people, intrinsically we are not solitary creatures, so as mentioned we find ourselves in a catch 22, for we need people, but we do not have the people we need.

      Humanity is a plague, and yes there is good in the world, but every storm has its eye, doesn’t stop it from destroying everything in its wake.

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