7 Ways to Cultivate Love in Your Life and Become Happier

 / 

, ,
cultivate love in your life

In order to have love and compassion for others and the world, we must offer deep appreciation and connectedness to ourselves. True happiness starts within yourself. To cultivate love and happiness , you need to practice self-love. How to cultivate love in your life? 

Most of us seek someone to love or to love us. We don’t think about cultivating self-love or realize that love originates within.

You may be seeking a relationship, but research suggests that singles are actually happier than married people, with the exception of happily married people. But even that dwindles over time.

Related: 7 Mental Habits of Women Who Are Always Happy

Self-Esteem

A new study shows that on average, after the first year, spouses return to their baseline state of happiness prior to the marriage. Thus, similar to the conclusions reached in the studies done on lottery winners, after marriage and after winning, we eventually return to how happy we are as individuals.

Thus, our self-esteem matters. Research has well-established that it’s a big factor in the health and happiness in marriage. In fact, the level of our self-esteem before the relationship can predict its longevity. Low self-esteem can prevent us from reaping the rewards of love in a relationship.

We think about ourselves based on things we were told, incorrect inferences, and false beliefs informed by trauma and the parenting we received. These learned beliefs, defenses, and habits are not who we are, not our natural, true self. How can we reclaim it?

self-love
Cultivate Love

Cultivating Love

Cultivating self-love is a worthwhile endeavor for ourselves and to have happier relationships. Science has shown these remarkable benefits associated with love:

  1. Better stress management
  2. Better sleep
  3. Better heart health
  4. Longer lives
  5. Improved self-esteem
  6. Greater happiness
  7. Lowered risk of depression

We are all born innocent and worthy of love. Our flaws, mistakes, and things that happened to us affect us, but are not who we are inherently. Once we understand this, we can begin changing our self-concept and nurturing our real self.

Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds.
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.

Love is like a garden we need to fertilize and cultivate. To fully give and receive love, we must first pull the weeds that sabotage it. We ward off invading pests in the form of toxic relationships, and welcome animals that protect and help our garden grow.

Here’re 7 Ways to Cultivate Self-Love in Your Life

1. Self-acceptance

Self-Acceptance

What we resist persists. When we don’t accept ourselves, we strengthen a negative self-concept. Low self-esteem is self-reinforcing, making change and self-acceptance difficult. Paradoxically, when we accept our shortcomings, it’s easier to let them go.

Related: What is Self-Esteem And How To Raise It?

Self-acceptance is greater than self-esteem, and self-acceptance paves the way for self-love. It means honoring and accepting all of ourselves, including our shortcomings, appearance, our mistakes, and feelings. Learn to stop self-criticism and Raise Your Self-Esteem.

2. Self-forgiveness

What we did is not who we are. Staying in self-blame and self-condemnation is harmful. On the other hand, guilt can motivate us to change and reach out to others. Great healing is possible with confession, self-forgiveness, and amends. Overcoming guilt releases us from the past and the person we once were. It paves the way for transformation, wholeness, self-respect, and self-love

Love is indivisible. It’s difficult to love ourselves when we harbor hatred toward someone else. Moreover, resentment toward ourselves or others keeps us stuck. When we forgive others, we feel freer and better about ourselves. Similarly, as we develop self-compassion and forgive ourselves, we’re more accepting and compassionate toward others. There are specific steps and stages in forgiveness. Follow them in Freedom from Guilt and Blame: Finding Self-Forgiveness.

3. Self-appreciation

After pulling the weeds, we must nourish our garden with self-appreciation. Our mind does not distinguish between praise coming from others or our own words and thoughts. Do you focus on your shortcomings and deny or take for granted your positive attributes?

Inventory your strengths, accomplishments, loving qualities, acts of courage, and your desire to give, love, and grow. Practice appreciating yourself and others. Each day write three things you did well and qualities about yourself that you or other people appreciate. Focus on the positive, rather than the negative. It takes time and consistency to replace bad habits with life-affirming ones.

4. Self-expression

Whether due to growing up in a dysfunctional family system or trauma later in life, when we deny painful emotions, we actually block positive ones as well. When we block pain, we can’t feel joy. We close our hearts and numb ourselves.

Repressing feelings is a form of rejecting ourselves that can lead to depression and can cause poor health and disease. We grow self-love when we express our feelings, needs, and wants. Negative feelings dissolve, and positive ones multiply. We’re liberated and have more energy to move forward.

5. Loving actions

When we ignore, hide, or discount our needs and wants, we become irritable, resentful, and unhappy. But fulfilling our needs and wants is an act of self-love that lifts our spirits. It’s a key to happiness that calms and revitalizes us.

Conversely, when we act in ways contrary to our values, such as lying or stealing, we undermine our self-worth. Doing esteemable acts raises our self-esteem. We’re able to hold our head up and feel deserving of respect and love. Do random acts of kindness you can add to your “did well” list.

6. Practice gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude is a high vibration that opens our hearts. It’s been scientifically proven to be healing. Practice gratitude by looking for things in your life and in the world to be grateful for – even when you don’t feel it. Write a daily grateful list, and read it to someone.

Related: 7 Laws of Gratitude That Will Change Your Life

7. Self-love visualizations

You can enhance love with visualization. Breathe in and out of the center of your chest. Imagine it opening like a door or flower. Picture pink or green light flowing in and out as you breathe. Focus on beauty and things you’re grateful for. Say loving affirmations. (Listen to my Self-Love Mediation.) Send this love to those you care about, to yourself, to those in need, and to the planet.

Related: 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion

The above steps open your heart. Practice expressing love and compassion in all aspects of your life to experience greater peace and joy. Learn more self-nurturing tips.


Written by Darlene Lancer
Originally appeared in WhatIsCodependency.com
cultivate self-love
cultivate love in your life pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Not Hate Your Body: 4 Ideas That Work

How To Not Hate Your Body: Ideas That Work

How to not hate your body? What can you do if your aim is improving your body image? Dealing with body image issues is challenging, to say the least. However, it is possible to stop hating your body without losing a single pound or focusing on the weighing scale. Let’s explore how to stop hating your body and loving yourself more.

Sometimes I get emails that tear me up with their honesty and vulnerability, recently I received one that particularly touched me.

“I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your podcast! I always look forward to the 20-30 minutes where I can just relax and listen to your discussion.



Up Next

8 Body Flaws Men Find Irresistibly Attractive In Women

Body Flaws Men Find Irresistibly Attractive In Women

Today we are going to explore a topic that’s not just interesting, but honestly, a bit heart warming too! We are going to talk about the “imperfections” and “body flaws” which women feel awkward about, but men absolutely love!

You know what I mean; the tiny body flaws that we are convinced make us less attractive. As women, we often regard them as shortcomings or things that take away from our beauty, but they are the very things that many men fall in love with.

So, let us plunge into this and find out what are those “body flaws” that men really adore about us, and what men think about women’s bodies.



Up Next

5 Signs You Are Afraid Of Being Seen: Invisible Walls

Signs You Are Afraid Of Being Seen: Invisible Walls

Do you ever feel like you are afraid of being seen, and that’s why you have erected several walls around you so that no one can see your vulnerable side? This article is going to explore five signs you are afraid of being seen and what the fear of being seen really means.

Deep down, most of us want to be seen and accepted for who we are. Showing up fully in your relationships and allowing yourself to be seen is a vulnerable experience that requires you to let your guard down.

On the one hand, taking such a risk can feel incredibly anxiety-provoking, while on the other hand, not taking such a risk can cause your relationships to feel stagnant and block them from growing.



Up Next

Dating With Low Self Esteem? 6 Tips For Navigating The Dating Scene with Confidence

Dating With Low Self Esteem? Tips For Being More Confident

Ah, the exciting universe of dating! Dating in the modern world can feel like a rollercoaster filled with thrilling emotions and fluttering hearts. But what do you do when you suffer from low self esteem? What does it look like, dating with low self esteem?

Dating with low self esteem can feel as difficult as trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back. Interactions may be marred by negative self-perceptions which can make you doubt your worth and desirability. However, don’t let that scare you, because low self-esteem does not necessarily mean doom.

In this article, we are going to t



Up Next

How Do Dogs Help with Depression: Exploring 5 Pawsitive Impacts!

How Do Dogs Help with Depression: Psychological Benefits!

The attachment that humans make with dogs goes beyond affability. To learn how do dogs help with depression is to consider not only the happiness they bring but also their deeper healing capacities for mental health

In the present fast-paced and challenging world where mental well-being is as important as physical fitness. The connection between humans and dogs is both ancient and deep. For centuries these creatures have been more than pets; they have been trusted friends, company during difficult times, unfailing love, etc.

This articl



Up Next

What Is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: 5 Alarming Traits And Ways To Cope

What Is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style: Traits

Are you or someone you care about finding it tough to open up about feelings and build close connections with others? Despite your best efforts, you seem to self-destruct in relationships.  If these scenarios sound familiar, you might be dealing with what is dismissive-avoidant attachment

This pattern often begins in early childhood and is not something one can consciously control. Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style might not fully understand why they face challenges in relationships or tend to distance themselves from intimacy.

The good news is that there are ways to navigate and overcome these struggles. In this article, we’ll delve into the dynamics of dismissive-avoidant attachment, offering insights and st



Up Next

What Does It Mean To Be Autosexual? 6 Signs You Are Sexually Attracted To Yourself

What Does It Mean To Be Autosexual? Signs You Might Be One

In a world that is constantly growing and changing, especially when it comes to sexual orientation and identity, it’s important to come to terms with all the different ways humans can be human. Some people see themselves in the mirror and feel deep love and attraction. Well, that might be a sign of autosexuality. But what does it mean to be autosexual?

They don’t need someone to tell them they are attractive, but those people exist, and something like that has a name — autosexuality. Rather than caring about others, this orientation looks directly at one’s own pleasure sexually.

In this article we will