The Connection Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety (That No One Talks About)

The Connection Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety

2. Criticism

Criticisms, when healthy are welcomed from time to time. They help you in self-improvement. But when these criticisms get consistently irrelevant and gradually lowers your self-esteem, it is no more healthy.

For example: “Are you sure you will be able to do this project? Given how naïve you are, I don’t think you can.”

Related: Covert Verbal Abuse: Passive Aggressive Behavior That Aims to Control You

3. Threats

Threats seem to be easy to identify. But they will often be disguised in such a manner that you will question your own accountability. “Was I really not at fault?” or think “I deserve that.”

Threats can be personal, professional or otherwise and is always a consequence of failure to put up with the demands of the abuser. It is directly meant to induce fear in the victim.

For example: “If you do not let me do that, I will harm myself.” “I will throw you out of the house if you do not listen to me.”

4. Blame

This is a common form of verbal abuse in which a person will completely hold someone else accountable for their own actions and get rid of the responsibility. 

The person might blame another, even when they are entirely innocent. This makes the victim wonder what his/her mistake was, leaving them entirely baffled. 

For example: “We could not make it to the finals because of you.” “You are not letting me achieve my dreams.”

5. Accusations

Almost similar to blaming, the accusation is often the result of the projection of one’s own infidelities or insecurities on to the victim. This leaves the victim wondering if they are really doing something undesirable or not. 

For example: “I know why you have dressed in those revealing clothes. Those are meant to seduce your co-workers.” “I am sure you are cheating on me.”

6. Name-Calling

Verbal abusers often make use of special ‘names’ to yell at the victim and frighten them, belittle them and lower their self-respect. 

For example: “You stupid, empty-headed bitch, look at your miserable self.” 

The Connection Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety (That No One Talks About)

7. Spiraling arguments

Does your partner constantly disagree with you? Or is your parents always finding an opportunity to argue with you? 

If these arguments make you feel drained and tired leaving no space for you to hold your opinion, as the abuser mostly denies, ignores, interrupts, and isolates your views when arguing. Often this is done by shouting over the top of your voice just to subdue your voice and make his/her point stand out.

These arguments go in circle and circle, leading to nothing fruitful expect for you feeling mentally drained and violated.

For example: “I am shouting because you are making me shout!”

Related: 10 Common Patterns Of Verbal Abuse To Watch Out For

8. Condescension

Some jokes are for fun, while others are to put people down. Everything changes when the tone is different. If the tone is sarcastic, even when the words seem harmless, you are passing off verbal abuse as a normal statement.

For example: “Oh poor chair! Look how it’s complaining about your weight.”

9. Mood killers

These are typical statements to kill your good mood. This suddenly comes off and blows away your entire good mood for something. 

For example: Suppose you have planned a night out with your friends, with all your efforts, searched out the best restaurant to dine in but ultimately one of your friends ends up commenting “Are we again going to that worthless restaurant serving stale foods?”

BAM! Now you are in no mood to go out with them.

10. Attack interests 

This is to make disrespectful comments about things that you are passionate about or your deepest interests. 

For example: “You write poems? Isn’t it supposed to be only meant for nerds?” 

The ways might be various but verbal abuse leaves a person susceptible to an immense amount of stress and anxiety.

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Shreyasi Debnath

An editor and writer keeping keen interest in painting, creative writing and reading. I did my Masters in Clinical and Counselling Psychology and have been a counselling psychologist at a primary school for the past 1 year. I love doing absolutely anything that mends a mind and soothes a soul. Most often than not, I ponder over to come up with poems. A wandering soul in search for meaning.View Author posts