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Closure Without Contact

All survivors and victims of psychopathic evil know how extremely difficult it is to cut ties with a psychopath.

This might sound odd but the lure of a psychopathic trap is such strong that it will leave you addicted and scarred, all at the same time.

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And then once no contact is established, survivors find themselves trying to pick up the pieces of their shattered heart and find direction. Many survivors write that what they want more than anything is to find closure, to find a reason as to why they had to go through all these.

Some hope that they can somehow obtain that closure from the psychopaths. Others are convinced that closure is absolutely impossible. All survivors wonder, at some point during their recovery journeys, if they will ever find a way out of the darkness.

The good news is,closure is absolutely possible. And NO, it will not come from the psychopaths! It must come from within yourself.

The following 7 ways will gradually help you move towards closure.

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This road map does not have a timeline, and many of the points overlap.

1. Try to let go of the illusion

The first step in healing from psychopathic abuse is to stop all contact with the psychopath. Immediately and abruptly cutting all sorts of contacts from them is necessary – block him/her on all social platforms, avoid physically confronting him/her anywhere as far as possible. This will serve as a general platform to gradually lose your grip on his/her image.

And the only way to do that is to let go of the image you had of the person you loved. Unfortunately and sadly, that person never existed. It might take you a lot of time and effort to come in terms with the reality. You will repeatedly try to tighten your grip on the person as much as you know you have to let go of him/her.

He or she was only an illusion, a mask the psychopath create in order to manipulate you and use you to their advantage. As inconceivable as it might sound, the only way to find freedom is to stop holding to their fake image and believing in the illusion.

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I clearly remember the beginning of the encounter I had with the psychopath; I thought he was all i ever wanted. We had too many similarities we connected so well and I believed he understood me more than anyone could. It almost felt like a perfect dream. Slowly as I discovered the numerous novel ways in which he had deceived me, I realized it always was too good to be true.

I eventually dawned on me that everything was a farce, except for my feelings for him. I was real, and my feelings were real. And in the midst of the intense pain, I held on to the light—the light of truth—that was just barely left in my soul. Letting go of the “dream man” he pretended to be brought me closer to my own heart.

The faster you can do away with the fake image he/she put up, the closer you will be to healing. 

2. Search for answers—but stay safe!

When I realized that I had been involved with a pathological liar, I had a very strong urge to go on what I call “my truth-finding mission” because I felt extremely betrayed and deceived. All my well-wishers warned me not to—absolutely everyone—discouraged me from investigating the psychopath.

But I felt deeply compelled to uncover as many lies as I could, so I disregarded their advice. It turned out that I made the right decision, because I conducted my mission without making contact with the psychopath or anyone connected to him.

Even though I desperately wanted to unmask him and his manipulative techniques but I controlled my urge to so. Finally, when I exhausted every anonymous avenue available to me, I stopped. I reclaimed my entire self just by uncovering a part of his drama. The entire process was an important step in rebuilding my self-respect and to forgive myself for thinking everything was my fault.

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Matthew Hoy

This is a absolutely me!… Read more »

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Ana Waller
Hi there! I love writing, and it is the best part of me and my life. I was always interested in the world of mental health, and hope to help people through my writings.
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