You’ve been used, you’ve been abused and there seems to be no end to it. After breaking past the abusive relationship, abusive here refers to psychological abuse, people feel this is how life is going to be and they get used to it. They tell themselves that they are a Narcissist magnet and these things aren’t going to leave them behind. They resign themselves to fate, get hurt, fall down, stand up and travel again on the same path. It is important to make a point here. No one should have to face emotional abuse.
Why is this happening to you? Can you alter the course of your life and make it go away? Let’s find out
1) A Big and Open Heart
You’re a compassionate and trusting person and there are many like this but not everyone runs into the same problem as you. Why? It’s because you have a big and open heart. For you love comes before self-respect. Your love knows no bounds which is a good thing. However, you need to have healthy boundaries. There are times you need to stand up for yourself. You need to have in yourself, you need to love yourself so that others can’t put you down.
2) Feeling of inadequacy and lack of determination
The narcissists’ abuse makes you feel small, worthless and you end up loathing yourself. You’re broken and you cannot even look within yourself for help. You wander around seeking support and validation and fall prey to the narcissist awaiting a vulnerable prey like you. They take advantage of your emotions. It can be online, within your family or a part of any circle. Don’t let anyone affect your self-esteem. Consult a trustworthy, non-judgmental therapist for the emotional abuse you have suffered. Give yourself time and let the wounds heal. Know that you can survive this on your own.
3) The Hidden Pain and Anger
An abusive relationship naturally causes a lot of unresolved anger in the victim. Amidst all the cheating, lying, humiliation and psychological manipulation there is resentment-breeding and this leads to all sorts of personality transformations. As we learn forgiveness, acceptance and indifference we release the old betrayals and open our hearts again. This is when we discover the deep pain hiding within behind the veil of anger.
4) Lost confidence
Long after the abuse has ended you feel loathsome and unworthy. There is a belief that you’re not enough and you go on seeking validation and go on trying to please people. In every sphere of your life you struggle to prove yourself, look for others’ approval and this is where you fall prey again. This attracts people who keep reaffirming the internalized belief.
Self-love is the only solution. No relationship or job can fill the void. Once we start loving ourselves these wounds will heal. Once we realize we are fine the way we are and we don’t need to do anything to be loved we regain the long lost self-confidence. We feel at peace again.
When we do these things we meet our self again. We realize nothing but the question ‘what is wrong with me?’ was the problem. We start to brighten up again, regain our sense of humor, and realize that the love and confidence we were missing was always there inside our heart.