Female Collapsed Narcissist
Do you know a woman who seems to love being a perpetual victim? Someone who blames everyone else for her misery? Whether she’s your mother, your wife, an ex or a friend or relative, have you met a woman who seems to have sort of lost her ability to get what she wants? If so you are dealing with an ageing female collapsed narcissist.
If you do, let me ask you a few questions.
- First, is she of a certain age?
- And if so…does she seem to have an over-inflated sense of her own self-importance?
- Is she ridiculously entitled and does she require excessive and constant attention admiration from the people around her?
- Does she clearly think she is more important than others, even if she pretends otherwise?
- Might she have a tendency to over-exaggerate her accomplishments and/or her talents?
- Does she often talk about how she used to be famous or beautiful or rich?
- Does she seem to think she might only be able to associate with people she deems special?
- Is it difficult to have a conversation with her that isn’t…well…about her?
- Does she tend to take advantage of people and their kindness?
- Is she the kind of woman who seems to want special treatment above everyone else, and does she forget or not seem to be able to care about how people feel? Is she conceited or stuck up or arrogant?
- Does she always need to be the best and have the best of everything?
- And what happens if you dare to criticize her?
- Does she get upset or angry when she doesn’t get what she wants, or when people don’t treat her better than they treat everyone else?
- Does she seem to always have issues in her personal relationships and friendships?
And despite the fact that she tries really hard to seem perfect and infallible, do you ever secretly think she might secretly be insecure or that she might be dealing with a lot of shame about herself?
If so, you might be dealing with an aging female narcissist.
In fact, she may have found that she’s not quite as capable of getting the kind of narcissistic supply that she’s used to. This can happen when the narcissist’s family and friends have just had enough and one-by-one, abandon them.
In some cases, the narcissist loses their ability to attract new supply because they get older and lose their looks, or because they become so self-involved that they forget how to do the whole love bombing thing – or any combination of these things.
But a narcissist really NEEDS that supply to continue to exist, right? So what happens then? Do they become a real person, or do they just sort of lose it?
What is a Collapsed Narcissist?
When a narcissist is unable to obtain narcissistic supply, what can you expect? Some people call this a narcissistic crisis or a collapsed narcissist. Whatever the label, it’s a big problem – and often, not just for the narcissist, but also for the people around them.
For the record, let me define the collapsed narcissist: it’s what you get when a narcissist has stopped being able to obtain the proper amount and type narcissistic supply. And narcissistic supply is, in most cases, a person to help bolster the narcissist’s self-worth, self-esteem – value as a human being. In essence, a collapsed narcissist will feel like they’ve been denied the very supply they need to exist – their proverbial life’s blood.
This leads to narcissistic injury, and as the collapsed narcissist writhes helplessly in the pain of not getting what they believe they’re due (whether it’s meeting some big goal or simply getting the admiration and praise they feel they rightly deserve), their whole world feels like it’s falling down around them.