Narcissists are not fearless as they appear to be! What do you think narcissists fear the most? Self-respect or criticism or abandonment?
If you know someone who behaves like a toxic narcissist, you have probably recognized that their seemingly unflappable personality is pretty difficult to deal with.
But did you know that there are a number of things that the average narcissist is seriously afraid of – and that they hide these fears in order to avoid having them used against them? It’s true, and that’s exactly what we’re talking about today – the narcissist’s biggest secret fears and exactly why they feel that way.
Your average toxic narcissist might seem pretty fearless, but the truth is that they have a number of secret, hidden fears they don’t want you to know about. Most narcissists want to appear invincible and untouchable.
The exception is covert narcissists who purposely appear vulnerable as that is their standard operating mode – but even they have a few fears that they hide from you. The reality is that all toxic narcissists have some deep and dark fears – and you might be surprised to learn exactly what causes their hearts to race.
What are the narcissist’s biggest fears?
1. The Narcissist Fears Their Imperfections Being Exposed
You might be totally okay with others knowing about your vulnerabilities and imperfections. That is because you know you are human and you know you are not perfect. And perhaps you can help someone else that is dealing with the same issues and having the same type of insecurities that you are suffering from. The way to do that is by sharing that part of yourself with them. However, the narcissist will do anything they can to hide their imperfections.
They know deep down that they are far from perfect (not that anyone is perfect), and that is why they fear that their imperfections can be exposed somehow. Once that happens, their perfect image will be tarnished for good which is something they want to avoid at all costs.
2. The Narcissist Fears Embarrassment/Public Humiliation
No one wants to be embarrassed or humiliated in public. But for the narcissist, this is the worst possible thing that can happen to them – even though this is often one of the ways the narcissist will use to manipulate and control you.
In fact, if they are worried that someone will humiliate or embarrass them in public, one way the narcissist tries to prevent this is to go out of their way to embarrass others instead. And if they feel at the least embarrassed then they will embarrass you even more – whether or not you’re the one who actually caused the humiliation.
3. The Narcissist Fears Rejection
Narcissists fear rejection like everyone else. But for narcissists, it’s different. Since they desperately require the narcissistic supply of their partner’s (and everyone else’s) admiration, they feel almost like they’re starving if they don’t get it. Their deep, hidden sense of inferiority and their secret sense of being unlovable drives them toward superficial attention and perceived acceptance from everyone around them.
Rejection would highlight their desperate need for supply. It would remind them that they are not the person they pretend to be and that they are not lovable. Despite the fact that narcissists obsessively attempt to make themselves appear untouchable, they fear rejection when it comes to love, job seeking, or being social. If a narcissist is rejected, they will display narcissistic rage because, after all, you have triggered one of their worst fears by rejecting them.