“When someone is rude, keep a smile on your face. When you stay on the high road and keep your joy, you take away their power.” – Joel Osteen
There is no telling whether a relationship that starts out in a loving manner would continue to be so in the long run, be it family, friends or your partner. For one moment you might find a person very caring and would want to spend more time with him/her and the next moment the person might, out of the blue, say something that offends you so much that you wouldn’t want to see him/her anymore.
As for example, questions like ‘How come you didn’t find a job yet?’ or ‘How did you gain so much weight?’ might leave a sour taste in your mouth and trigger your anger. Most people hardly think before speaking and this can have disastrous effects on relationships.
When someone offends you, you have every right to defend yourself but remember that you can always be polite while reacting to such remarks.
But finding the right way to retort to such people isn’t always easy especially when the person who mistreated you is your boss or someone whom you can’t afford to break ties with.
The following list states eight points that would help you deal with such rude people:
1. Thank You.
A simple ‘thank you’ reflects a lot of maturity on your part. When a person is rude to you and you react with a ‘thank you’ it not only indicates that you chose not to ignore that person but you didn’t let their words affect you either. This would make the other person go silent as he/she would realize that their remarks did not have the desired effect on you. Moreover, it would be beneficial for you as well as you will stay positive and you do not let rudeness overwhelm you.
2. End the conversation.
When you are incapable of reacting politely to what someone said, it is always better to put an end to the conversation immediately. Doing so, you make sure that things don’t turn bitter and ruin the relationship and at the same time, you make it quite clear that you neither do you agree with that person and nor do you endorse his/her views.
3. You almost hurt my feelings.
Although this carries a bit of sarcasm, it is quite effective when it comes to shutting down rude people. Firstly, you avoid their negativity and on top of that you discourage the other person from making any more such remarks as clearly, you would not be affected by them.
4. Yes, you’re right.
Although it might be incredibly difficult to say so and neither would you derive much satisfaction from this but this ensures that the conversation is cut short and the other person is disappointed as he/she could not elicit the desired reaction from you.
5. You always have to be so negative, don’t you?
By saying this you shift the attention from yourself to the person who was rude to you. This makes that person contemplate on their choice of words and questions their own behavior. Moreover, you might even make the person realize about his/her misconduct and impart a sense of regret in them so that they avoid committing such mistakes in the future.
6. Just laugh.
A little laughter will catch the other person off-guard as laughter is definitely not something that one would expect as a reaction to a rude comment. Not only does it make a situation a little less sombre it also makes the person feel embarrassed.
7. I love myself and love you as well.
This should be used with discretion. While it is usually not advisable to use it against your boss, it is very effective when it comes to friends or family. As people aren’t used to expressing such raw emotions, it would confuse them before they can say anything further. Besides, you would dampen their hostility with your warmth and they’d not be able to think of a proper response.
8. I appreciate your opinion.
This indicates that you are not ready to stoop down to the level of the other person. When rudeness meets rudeness in the reaction it usually results in bitterness and arguments. While if you retort with something like this, it would let you continue the conversation with dignity and also imply that you do not agree with their perspective.