You’re NOT losing your mind … that person is an asshole!
Think about the most annoying people in your life, whether it is a partner, a boss, a friend or someone else close to you. In these relationships, you somehow lose track of yourself — acting like a maniac or feeling constantly uncertain — and you can’t figure out how or why.
Looking back on past relationships, you know you haven’t always behaved this way, but in this particular relationship with this particular narcissist person, you get hooked every time.
Why do certain people have this power over us and make us feel crazy?
It’s like there’s always some edge we’re about to fall off or we feel constantly confused. People like this are called Crazy Makers. And dealing with them is maddening.
Not sure if you’re in a relationship with one or not? Keep reading to learn the signs you’re in love with a narcissist and the characteristics of this frustrating behavioral pattern. Then, you can learn some smart strategies for dealing with the Crazy Makers in your life.
1. They’re nice on the outside, not so much on the inside.
Crazy Makers hide their true identities by acting nice, altruistic, empathic, concerned and caring on the surface. When you first meet them, you’ll strike up an instant rapport and think they’re the nicest person ever.
Beware, however, because Crazy Makers shape-shift themselves into whatever you want to see, but only long enough to lure you in. Once you’re hooked, all things end up in arguments and your general emotional state becomes one of frustration and anger.
Because they still strategically flash their “nice” side, you’ll continually justify your relationship with them and live in a world of confusion. It’s a cycle of feeling mad enough to leave the relationship only to then receive just a drop enough to pull you back in. Over and over.
2. Taking care of them is YOUR job.
People with this personality disorder want a life full of fun, leisure and excitement and anything outside of fun is not their thing. They prefer to others (aka you) to handle all things boring or difficult. In other words, they’re allergic to the words “responsibility” and/or “accountability.” Oh, and those who delay their gratification experience the full wrath of a Crazy Marker’s discontent.
Remember, they’re not in relationships to contribute; they here to receive and for someone else to take care of them. These narcissists always want more than they give and they don’t really care how you feel about it.
3. They’re selfish.
This is their central feature. Crazy Makers do not operate in relationships with an ounce of empathy or fairness. Their idea of fairness is them getting what they want exactly at the moment they want it. They feel entitled to it.
They’re stubborn, opinionated, and unreliable and refuse to perform on demand (though they expect you to do so). They are intentional in their desire to get others annoyed all the while acting as if everyone outside of them is overreacting. It is their world and you are just a visitor.
4. They are never wrong. EVER.
Egocentric creatures that they are, Crazy Makers live in a world of complete distortion. They see themselves as victims of their circumstances. From their perception, they never make mistakes, are never wrong, and their motives are always of pure intent. They take no responsibility for their own behavior.