6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath

6 Signs You're Arguing With A Psychopath

How to know if you’re arguing with a psychopath?

Like most people come to believe, psychopaths are not just the protagonist in the psychological thriller you watched last weekend. Psychopaths are real people, having their own families, their jobs and their life. And all of them are not serial killers!

A psychopath’s character is like a fluid. They are equipped with the techniques to stealthily fit into any situation. They are masters at morphing their identities, mirror their own personalities to the opposite person’s and extract everything that they want. It could be anything – praise, attention, love, sex, money or property. Because of their innate ability to mold into the intricacies of any personality they wish to, they are often idealized by others as charming, innocent, fun, considerate, understanding and kind.

Related: The Toxic Attraction Between An Empath And A Narcissist

But never push their buttons too far! 

Once you start finding faults in them, they will readily engage you in a spiraling argument, from which you can never find an exit. Even though the fault might be their’s but when you distantly try to express what might have disheartened you, they will manipulate and stage the situation in such a way that you will ultimately find yourself apologizing for no fault of yours. They are great players, experts at turning a circumstance around in self-defense.

The sad part is, an argument with a narcissist has no end. It will go round and round until you have given them the upper hand

6 Signs You're Arguing With A Psychopath

Here are 6 warning signs you’re arguing with  a psychopath and it’s time to disengage:

1. Lies and excuses.

From time to time everyone messes up. Lies told by normal people are periodical or situational, unlike that of a psychopath.

Related: 4 Ways A Psychopath Uses Pathological Lying To Manipulate You

They never walk the talk. Each of their promises is empty and is never followed through. They lack the ability to undertake responsibility and when their lies get caught, they disown them, taking no account of it.

Their lies are so regular, that you feel relieved when they finally keep their promises halfway through. The condition you to be satisfied with their mediocre treatment.

2. Turning up the volume.

Psychopaths will often enjoy you get unhinged before them while arguing. through most of the conversation, they will remain composed, but soon as the compass of blame points towards them, you will notice them gauging your facial expression, copying it, mocking your gestures, raising eyebrows, smirking and feigning disappointment. You are only supposed to stay calm and submissive. As soon as you see, you are getting emotionally out of control, they will start expressing their rage by raising the volume. They do so to destabilize you, shock you and block the flow of logical thoughts.

Related: 5 Things A Narcissist Says To Make You Feel Crazy

The high volume, screaming and yelling ultimately weakens your defenses, leaving you susceptible to suggestions.

3. Projection.

Hypocrisy is the middle name of psychopaths. They do not have the emotional maturity to own up their flaws. Because it is so crucial for them to maintain a fake persona that they project their mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings to the other person.

Related: Projection: The Lethal Weapon Narcissists and Abusers Use To Target Empaths

They will monopolize the conversation by accusing and blaming the most generous person of being unkind, inconsiderate and cheaters. Remember, whatever they are finger pointing at you for, is the very things they cannot sustain or accept in their flawed personalities.

4. Play the victim

This is their favorite weapon. They use this as they are aware that the person on the opposite side is kind enough, is empathetic enough and is gullible enough to be convinced of their trickery.  If the narcissist fails to follow through a promise and you are hurt by their behavior, not only will they invalidate your feelings but also they will display aloofness or distant behavior. There will eventually be no apologies on their part or no empathy will be expressed.

Related: 8 Signs You Are The Victim Of An Abusive “Hoovering” Narcissist

But hold on. You will surprisingly find yourself apologizing for being so needy, emotionally unstable and hypersensitive. If you do not apologize, the psychopath will blame you for a lack of empathy because you are inconsiderate of their stress, pain and trauma. Ultimately, you are out of focus and they are the center of focus, as they are the ones who deserve sympathy, love, and understanding.

5. Interrupting

Psychopaths are expert conversation hackers. They are least bothered about a two-sided conversation. They love to be the focus on attention and have no patience to listen to the other person’s version of the story or their opinions. Compromising their opinions to reach a win/win solution to disagreement is no their thing.

You will notice whenever you are going to place your opinion before a psychopath, he/she will immediately block your conversation flow, to redirect your attention to them once again. This lets them have superiority over you in all aspects.

75 thoughts on “6 Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath”

  1. Mine gets me to the point of pulling my hair out because I’m fuming and I raise my voice and then I get the same statement thrown at me every time.._well look at ya! Look at ya now!” Like I’m supposed to hold in the rage that I feel forever…ummm I think not!! But he drives me up the wall!!! Omg!! Currently trying to figure out where I can go to stay and where I’ll be content but I have few options but I’m on a mission to get the hell outta Dodge!!

  2. And if they convince you long enough to have children with one, coparenting will literally drive you insane. Stay away. I will teach my children how to identify and run from them.

  3. Never had the unfortunate pleasure of arguing with a psychopath, but there are things they are very good at doing, mirroring people and controlling situations – natural born control freaks. God help you if you cross them hahaha. Not funny, but it is funny!!!! 🙂

  4. What do you do with the ones that bully, punish and hurt you if you try to walk away? They feel entitled to have you in their life and if you walk away it means that you were judgemental, or unstable and can’t keep friends?

  5. Alliston Samuel

    lmao! I’m going to have to remember to read all of this at a better date and time.

  6. I don’t know what’s with me, ’cause I can easily manipulate people. I don’t know. That’s just me. But I’m kind. I don’t hurt people (but I’d hurt someone who’d hurt me). I just have this ability to manipulate. Its like I’m the director of the movie. And I lie, when I need to. And I amaze people from the way I speak. I love arguing. I can read someone’s mind, but depends on the person, but mostly I can easily read others. I’m afraid if I’m a psychopath. But I think… nah. I’m just me.

  7. Theodora de Haas

    Ik heb een zoon die zo is maar daarbij ook heel intelligent is !! Het is een groot probleem ik ben er ziek van geworden. Ik vindt het gevaarlijke mensen die elk moment een ander pijn doen of willen schaden!!
    Ik kan niet begrijpen dat er zoveel van dit soort mensen vrij rond lopen!!

  8. Not easy to do when the psychopath is your own mother. There’s an inherent guilt-factor that ties into the Ten Commandments. There’s also pressure from distant family who haven’t experienced this. Anyone who calls their own grandchildren retarded and autistic just to get a sharp reaction doesn’t deserve a second chance, much less another 1000 chances, like she’s been given…

  9. this is bullshit we struggle to do these things because we want to help you ungrateful stupid pricks so that we dont have to feel like shit for or with you and so that you can be happier as well as us a fucking win/win. we dont do this shit to hurt you. we do this so we can better understand you and if we can understand we can help but no you all think we are hurting you on purpose…but no im sorry i have no idea its hurting when all i wanna do is help im just a fucking psychopath who wants to hurt you. thats all you idiots see. we hurt so much more so so fucking much more but no that to you is a lie because we are fucking psychopath. THIS this is why some people loose it and kill themselves or others.

    1. I think Josh makes an excellent point. The problem of psychopathy won’t be solved until we recognize it as an illness to be treated. It doesn’t help a damn thing to use the knowledge we are gaining about this to vent our anger. We need to recognize children who have damaged or missing capacity for empathy and learn how to teach them or treat them before their lives are ruined and everyone who loves them is suffering.

  10. Someone very close has these personality traits. Have left me with depression, anxiety and the sense of not being loved. Aggression and lack of confidence is a by product of this up bringing. Not only does she apply these methods on me but to other members too. It has taken years of healing and realizing you cannot argue with these sorts of people, if they wish to make your life hell, then you have to let them go and you have to just move on….and do not follow suit. This person becomes increasingly nasty if she is bored or things do not go their own way.

  11. All of the behaviours talked about in this article can be attributed to any normal person and is not exclusive to psychopathy. It is also ridiculous how Jackson Mackenzie reiterates the point over and over again that you the person defending yourself from this abomination of a human being are free of all criticisms and that you could not have possibly done anything wrong. Yay for confirmation Bias!

  12. Interesting thought. And yeat, thought provoking … Doesn’t Satan appear as an angle of light (Lucifer) and is he not a manslayer from the beginning? (though he doesn’t kill the body, but the spirit that is in man) He sows discontent and tries to drive people away from their families and from God …
    Take king Saul Saul for an example, how he created division, how he denied the power of God, and so on. Make a good study of the Bible to understand the psyche of man and what is in the heart of man!

  13. So is the psychopath a sociopath that has moved into conscious manipulation? I ask this because Inoticed you stated that the psychopath knowingly projects their own horrible qualities upon you in order to "gaslight" or plant the seeds of doubt and confusion in you, to gain control. Great article. Thank you.

    1. Read my comment, about king Saul, who is not a person with social affection. Perhaps it gives some light on your question. The psychopath and sociopath manipulate, though once unconscious they moved into conscious manipulation. We are all influencers, whether we are aware of it or not. Some however speak vanity with their neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak and they go out to destroy the spirit in man. Others speak words of wisdom, they strenghten, unite and restore .
      Some ‘drive sheep together’ and others ‘drive sheep apart to kill the sheep and destroy the flock.’

  14. Just because a Dr. hasn't labeled them doesn't make them any less

    of a Psychopath. People with cancer still have cancer without a Diagnosis.

  15. Wow, I knew something was off with my former roomie who lived in my house for a year. A very sweet and charming woman who knows exactly how to buy my trust on her with her sad and miserable past and buying me things. Tragic that a year of close friendship transpired that this woman is a liar, an illegal immigrant, and left trails of troubles, one after another until one day… She disappeared when the police kept coming to my house looking for her. Years of friendship turned into this. I guess you will never know a person until you live with them… Not forgetting that I have been accused of constantly fighting with her when I am still shit scared out of my mind of communicating with this woman after a year of being yelled at, being bought, yelled at, and so on. Still traumatized over this but this article helps and explains a lot. Thank you!

  16. I had the misfortune of having a supervisor who was a psychopath. She fit the description the article gave to a t. What can you do when you find out the psychopath you're dealing with is also an authority figure? I had gone over her head and spoke with her boss, but in the end, I lost my job. Is there anything I could have done? I had to do my job, but some of the things she wanted were just wasting my time. Others knew it also. Suggestions?

  17. I'm living in this horror today…or should I say my son is but I have lost my son to the wife that has taken his ever kind compassionate sole away from the family that raised him with all the love a child deserves. I'm the threat and she WON. I have never met another person that works as the Devil herself. As someone said on here…"Hostage". My son has giving up his life for his own son…My grandson is her trump card and controlling all who knows her with him. My son will never leave because of him. He has given up speaking or seeing his mother sisters and grand parents that raised him because of the fear of loosing his own. If I ever thought in my wildest years this would happen to my only son I would have tried to make him a harsher more evil person himself in trade for this life he is in now. I'm a mother in mourning for my son and grandson that I will never see again unless he leaves…..Signed a grieving mother.

  18. The entire time I was reading this article I was reminded of a certain person who in currentlly running for president of the United States.

  19. I'm not sure I'd call these people psychopaths… just very low in emotional intelligence. Psychopath is a certifiable diagnosis, and I disagree with generalizing and labeling people that are just self-centered and difficult to get along with.

  20. Yes, I no longer engage in trying to have a discussion with this type of person..for one thing they have made up their mind and won't listen anyway… They think they know everything about things they know nothing about…so ""simply smile, nod, and go live your life." .. is good advice. In my opinion.

  21. Sure can relate to that type of behavour, had a long time on off on off relationship with such a person, took me so long to work out what was going on, after having a 'Nervous Breakdown' and some Therapy/Healing, I finally accepted it was a Toxic Mess draining my very life force… But I certainly did learn some hard life lessons…

    1. Nice to see at least one person so far who i s not participating in the circle jerk. I too read through this article and did not see any behaviour that could not be attributed to a normal person. The article itself seems to explicitly claim that you are never to blame in such situations which is utter nonsense.

    1. I have always known, this just confirms. Never more happy to have miles and experiences of years between us. On good days, I create and formulate my sense of joy, instead of having someone who is suppose to love me steal it!

    2. In my case, a sister.. she manipulated our parents, especially my mother, until their death. All of her siblings had to remove this toxic person, who was supposed to be our loving sister from our lives. Unfortunately she still sucks in & manipulates other family members who sadly haven't figured her out yet. Her four siblings (including myself ) were her prized victims who all had the courage to walk away. She still preys upon those she can. Sad.

    1. psychopath traits, characteristics were pretty much explained in the article of The Minds Journal. A sociopath has similar qualities, characteristics, symptoms, only difference is that person is someone who lacks a sense of moral responsibilities or conscious, along with the traits of a psychopath. Believe the qualities in the article might well be attributed to a sociopath, since a psychopath is more likely to be someone who lacks an ability to love, and can be someone who may commit a heinous crime and not feel any remorse. A sociopath preys on the weaknesses of others for emotional and intellectual sport in order to be manipulative or persuasive. While a psychopathic personality may and many times go one step farther by being someone who has a propensity to commit physical harm to someone and not feel any degree of sympathy, compassion or remorse.

  22. What if you have to stay with such kind of people, not always easy to ignore them, these people can't see any one happy n succeeding in their life. Really really frustrating

    1. Than you need to invest in the best earplugs made! Believe walking away, even to another room or go for a walk. Unless being held captive, in which case reaching out to the authorities would be a better act, you can always disengage if only to go sit on the toilet, go outside, something. Living in an unhealthy situation where you are always made to feel the person wrong, loser, out of your league is allowing someone else to enjoy your life more. To my knowledge, there is no next life or second act so being able to get out of the company of someone else who is being held responsible for their happiness and yours is a bit much for both. What if the last person, voice, encounter is of this person? Would you consider yourself having lived this life with any degree of joy? Smile and concentrate on bouncing and not staying to hear the rest of the torture.

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