How to know if you’re arguing with a psychopath?
Like most people come to believe, psychopaths are not just the protagonist in the psychological thriller you watched last weekend. Psychopaths are real people, having their own families, their jobs and their life. And all of them are not serial killers!
A psychopath’s character is like a fluid. They are equipped with the techniques to stealthily fit into any situation. They are masters at morphing their identities, mirror their own personalities to the opposite person’s and extract everything that they want. It could be anything – praise, attention, love, sex, money or property. Because of their innate ability to mold into the intricacies of any personality they wish to, they are often idealized by others as charming, innocent, fun, considerate, understanding and kind.
But never push their buttons too far!
Once you start finding faults in them, they will readily engage you in a spiraling argument, from which you can never find an exit. Even though the fault might be their’s but when you distantly try to express what might have disheartened you, they will manipulate and stage the situation in such a way that you will ultimately find yourself apologizing for no fault of yours. They are great players, experts at turning a circumstance around in self-defense.
The sad part is, an argument with a narcissist has no end. It will go round and round until you have given them the upper hand
Here are 6 warning signs that the person you’re arguing with is a psychopath and it’s time to disengage:
1. Lies and excuses.
From time to time everyone messes up. Lies told by normal people are periodical or situational, unlike that of a psychopath. They never walk the talk. Each of their promises is empty and is never followed through. They lack the ability to undertake responsibility and when their lies get caught, they disown them, taking no account of it.
Their lies are so regular, that you feel relieved when they finally keep their promises halfway through. The condition you to be satisfied with their mediocre treatment.
2. Turning up the volume.
Psychopaths will often enjoy you get unhinged before them while arguing. through most of the conversation, they will remain composed, but soon as the compass of blame points towards them, you will notice them gauging your facial expression, copying it, mocking your gestures, raising eyebrows, smirking and feigning disappointment. You are only supposed to stay calm and submissive. As soon as you see, you are getting emotionally out of control, they will start expressing their rage by raising the volume. They do so to destabilize you, shock you and block the flow of logical thoughts.
The high volume, screaming and yelling ultimately weakens your defenses, leaving you susceptible to suggestions.
Hypocrisy is the middle name of psychopaths. They do not have the emotional maturity to own up their flaws. Because it is so crucial for them to maintain a fake persona that they project their mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings to the other person. They will monopolize the conversation by accusing and blaming the most generous person of being unkind, inconsiderate and cheaters. Remember, whatever they are finger pointing at you for, is the very things they cannot sustain or accept in their flawed personalities.
4. Play the victim
This is their favorite weapon. They use this as they are aware that the person on the opposite side is kind enough, is empathetic enough and is gullible enough to be convinced of their trickery. If the narcissist fails to follow through a promise and you are hurt by their behaviour, not only will they invalidate your feelings but also they will display aloofness or distant behaviour. There will eventually be no apologies on their part or no empathy will be expressed.
But hold on. You will surprisingly find yourself apologizing for being so needy, emotionally unstable and hypersensitive. If you do not apologise, the psychopath will blame you for a lack of empathy because you are inconsiderate of their stress, pain and trauma. Ultimately, you are out of focus and they are the centre of focus, as they are the ones who deserve sympathy, love and understanding.
Psychopaths are expert conversation hackers. They are least bothered about a two-sided conversation. They love to be the focus on attention and have no patience to listen to the other person’s version of the story or their opinions. Compromising their opinions to reach a win/win solutions to disagreement is no their thing.