Like most people would like to believe, psychopaths are not just found in psychological thriller movies and books, they are found in real life too. Psychopaths are real people, who have their own families, jobs, and lives. But just like movies and books, they can make your life hell in reality too, especially when you are arguing with a psychopath.
A psychopath’s character is like a fluid. They are equipped with the techniques to stealthily fit into any situation. They are masters at morphing their identities, mirroring their own personalities to the other person’s, and extracting everything that they want from them. It could be anything – praise, attention, love, sex, money, or property.
Because of their innate ability to manipulate and trick their victims, they are often seen as charming, innocent, fun, considerate, understanding, and kind by others. But all of this is a lie and nothing more than a facade.
However, if you start to realize that you’re dealing with a psychopath, then they will go to any lengths to destroy you. Once you start finding faults in them, they will readily engage you in a spiraling argument, from which you can never find an exit.
Even though the fault might be their’s but when you constantly try to express what might have disheartened you, they will manipulate the situation in such a way that you will ultimately find yourself apologizing to them, instead of it being the other way around.
The saddest and worst part of having an argument with a psychopath is that it has no end. It will go on and on and on until you give up and give them the upper hand.
Let’s find out how to tell if you’re arguing with a psychopath.
6 Warning Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath
1. They are always lying and making excuses.
This is one of the most important signs that you’re arguing with a psychopath. From time to time everyone messes up. Lies told by normal people are periodical or situational and are normally harmless, unlike that of a psychopath.
They never walk the talk. All of their promises are empty and they never follow through on any of them; keeping their word is a concept they just don’t understand. They refuse to take responsibility and accountability for their actions and lies and when they get caught, they downright refuse to admit their mistake.
Their lies are so regular, that you feel relieved when they finally keep their promises halfway through. They condition you to be satisfied with their mediocre treatment.
2. They scream their lungs out to intimidate you.
Psychopaths will often enjoy you getting unhinged while arguing with them. Throughout most of the conversation, they will remain composed, but as soon as the compass of blame points towards them, you will notice them gauging your facial expression, copying it, mocking your gestures, raising eyebrows, smirking, and feigning disappointment.
However, you are supposed to stay calm and composed, without showing an iota of anger and frustration. As soon as they see that you are getting emotionally out of control, they will start expressing their rage by raising the volume. They do so to destabilize you, shock you and force you to backtrack and take the blame on your shoulders.
The constant screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs ultimately weakens your defenses, and leaves you wanting to put an end to all of it and just reconcile so that things can be peaceful again.
3. They are experts in the art of projection.
Hypocrisy is the middle name of psychopaths, and they simply do not have the emotional maturity to own up to their flaws. Because it is so crucial for them to maintain their fake persona, they always project their mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings on other people, and in this case, that’s you.
When arguing with a psychopath, you will notice that they will monopolize the conversation by accusing and blaming the most generous person of being unkind, inconsiderate, and a cheater. Remember that whatever they are blaming you for or humiliating you for, are the very same things that are a part of their personality, it’s just that they don’t have the decency to own up to them.
4. They always try to play the victim.
This is their favorite weapon. They use this as they are aware that the person on the opposite end is kind enough, empathetic enough, and gullible enough to be convinced of their trickery.
If the psychopath fails to follow through on a promise and you are hurt by their behavior, not only will they invalidate your feelings but they will also display aloofness and give the silent treatment to you. And don’t even think that they will ever apologize to you for their faults.
Surprisingly you will find yourself apologizing for being so needy, emotionally unstable, and hypersensitive. If you do not apologize, the psychopath will blame you for a lack of empathy because you are inconsiderate of their “stress, pain, and trauma”. Ultimately, you are out of focus and they are the center of focus, as they are the ones who deserve sympathy, love, and understanding.
5. They constantly interrupt you when you speak.
This is another one of the major signs you are arguing with a psychopath. Psychopaths are expert conversation hackers. They are least bothered about a two-sided conversation, and only care about what they have to say. They love to be the center of attention and have no patience to listen to what others might have to say.
That’s why, you will notice that whenever you try to speak about something, they will interrupt you. And they will keep on interrupting you until you give up altogether. Whenever you try to express your opinion, they immediately block your conversation flow, to redirect your attention to them once again. This lets them have superiority over you in all aspects.
6. They love giving you silent treatment.
When all of the above tricks with you fails, a psychopath will wield their ultimate power tool – the silent treatment. It is a form of emotional abuse, in which the psychopath severs all sorts of communication with you, with an intention to punish and evoke an emotional reaction.
The silent treatment can mean reduced day-to-day communication with you, avoiding taking accountability for their mistakes. Often times this silent treatment demands a proper apology which once given by you, will establish their dominance and validate their exaggerated superiority.
Why Is It Hard To Win An Argument With A Psychopath?
1. They lack emotions.
Psychopaths are devoid of emotions. This might sound harsh and impossible, but it’s true. Basic human emotions like compassion, kindness, empathy, understanding, and decency seem alien to them.
No matter how hard you try to make them understand how much they have hurt you, you will never be able to get through to them, because their emotional maturity and emotional intelligence are zero.
2. They are massive hypocrites.
When arguing with a psychopath, don’t expect them to have the decency to own up to their faults. Rather, they will pin all the blame on you and make you feel bad about something that you are not guilty of in the first place.
Why, do you ask? It’s because they are massive hypocrites. They will project their faults on you and pretend to be holier-than-thou; they will never admit their mistakes but will point out every single flaw of yours.
3. They are condescending, insensitive, and extremely cunning.
Arguing with a psychopath is going to make you feel crazy, defeated, and empty. They are so cunning that during the entire argument, they will maintain a cool and calm attitude, and will smartly keep pushing you to lose your cool.
The moment you do so, they will point out how you are screaming and how they are being calm. This is how they manipulate you to get an emotional reaction.
4. They have multiple personalities.
This is probably one of the most disturbing signs of arguing with a psychopath. When you are engaged in a verbal spat with them, you will get to see their various personalities coming out.
If they see you calling them out, you will see their bad side. If they realize that you are giving up on them, you will see their sweet side. If they see you not reacting at all, you will see their groveling, insecure side.
4 Tips To Beat An Argument Against A Psychopath
So, how do you beat an argument against a psychopath? These 4 strategies might help you:
1. Know how to control and handle your emotions.
It’s definitely very difficult to keep your cool when you are arguing with a psychopath, but that’s the very thing you need to do. Psychopaths will keep on pushing you to get an emotional reaction from you, so that they can hold it against you.
However, if you don’t fall into this trap of theirs, you will not just take your power back, you will also be able to maintain your peace of mind.
2. Don’t sympathize with them at any cost.
A psychopath will always try their best to play the victim, but no matter what happens, never ever buy into their stories. They will blame you or someone else, or might even lie through their teeth to save themselves; you need to keep on reminding yourself who you are dealing with.
Stick to facts and stand your ground and see them for who they really are – vile, malicious, and toxic human beings.
3. Even if you feel intimidated and scared, don’t show it.
It’s natural to feel a bit scared when you are arguing with a psychopath, due to their volatile nature. But don’t show your fear to them, because if you do, they are definitely going to exploit that and torment you even more.
They might threaten you, try to be aggressive towards you, and even verbally abuse you, but despite how difficult it might be, stand strong and don’t let them see your nervousness.
4. Disengage yourself from the situation.
When you engage from a verbal battle with a psychopath, it will leave you feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. So, instead of putting yourself through that torture, the best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is to just disengage completely.
Let them say what they want to say and let them do what they want to do, you just smile, nod, and leave the situation. If you don’t let them provoke you, you automatically win.
The only way to get rid of these mind games of psychopaths is to disengage. The more time you waste stroking their fragile ego, the more you will contribute to the decline of your own mental health. They deserve none of your valuable time or energy or attention.
The worst mistake you can do while arguing with a psychopath is to try to make them understand your opinions. They lack the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes because they feel comfortable in their grandiose stature.
Want to know more about the signs you are dealing with a psychopath? Check this video out below!