Co-Parenting With A Psychopath
Sociopath, psychopath…they are both similar in regards to the mental state of the individual in question. Either way, dealing with one or the other is truly a special kind of hell.
Sadly, we live in a world made up of many ‘split’ families. Parents are either separated, divorced or in extreme cases, one parent simply moves on and forgets they ever had a child.
Trying to co-parent with a ‘parent’ that is mentally unstable can be extremely difficult. Often times, one parent is responsible for the child while the other parent ‘thinks’ and truly ‘believes’ they too are responsible for the child, yet they don’t seem to show up to the party.
As the responsible parent, how do you deal with this? Well, you fight through it, stay true to your child/children and always put them first.
Signs You’re Co-parenting with a psychopath
Here are some signs that may help you distinguish whether or not you are dealing with a sociopathic individual and ways to deal with the hardships of that realization.
- Lack Of Remorse – They hurt people, especially their children without a care in the world.
- Liars – They lie about anything and to anyone and do so very casually.
- Lack of Empathy – They are like stone inside. On the outside they appear to care, but within they most certainly do not.
- Incapable Of Loving – They are unable to love others, and it is apparent to those close to them. To outsiders they will appear to be the most loving people on the planet, but this is very untrue. These types of people will not show affection to their children. They will not hug, kiss or say I love you. Most often times, their affection will be in the form of sexual contact with a partner, with the sexual contact being the extent of their ‘love’.
- Egocentric – They love being the center of attention. Often times they will talk their lives up in person and on social media, making it appear as though their life is wonderful, fullfilling and amazing!
- Delusions Of Grandeur – They often feel superior to others.
- Never Wrong, Always Right – No matter what the situation at hand, their opinion is always correct. They have an answer for everything and even though they may clearly be in the wrong, they believe whole-heartedly that they are right.
- Selfish – Their lives come first. Their relationships come first. Their jobs, their playtime, their entire world comes first before their children.
Things To Do When Co-Parenting With A Psychopath
You need to be wary when dealing with a person with sociopathic tendencies. Here are a few things to watch out for when dealing with a loony.
1. Practice the ‘Rule of Threes’
Only give someone 3 chances. After that, it’s best to cut your losses and run. One mistake such as a lie, a broken promise or a neglected responsibility should be forgiven since it could be a misunderstanding. The second mistake could be a serious mistake. The third strike should be the final one. Cut ties with them completely. This may be hard to do when children are involved, but if you are dealing with a sociopath and have been for some time…it won’t ever change and this will cause more stress and harm to your child that the pain of one parent walking away.
2. Avoid Them
When you realize you’re dealing with someone who could be a sociopath, make a point of staying away from them. Do not try to cure them or beat them at their own game, you will never ‘win’. Again, this may be hard to do if you are co-parenting, just try your best to keep contact to a minimum. This will allow you to breathe and minimize stress for you and your child.
3. Don’t Try To Reform Them
With studies showing that efforts at curing sociopaths with therapy do not bear fruit, it is best to leave them alone. They will only waste your time and use the sessions to sharpen their conning and conversational skills. You simply cannot cure a sociopath. Only a person who has some humanity in them can be reformed. Those devoid of a conscience are beyond reform.
4. Protect Yourself
A sociopath will attempt to drain you of everything you have including your money, emotional well being, power, reputation and status. If they see you as a threat to their deceitful lifestyle, they will come after you. They would want to see you become completely desolate. They might try to get your fired from your job and begin to bad mouth you to friends. Take any possible preemptive measures, but most importantly…know who YOU are and do your best to not let their evil ways bother you.