It’s foolish to blame yourself when it takes you a lot of time to get over a psychopath, and the abuse they made you go through.
When you’re in a relationship with a psychopath, things are different. The rules and consequences of a normal relationship don’t apply here. Things get uglier when you break up with one. Especially in the post break up phase.
Here are 5 reasons why it takes so long to get over a psychopath
1. You Loved Them
Whether or not the psychopath had any feelings for you doesn’t change the fact that you loved them. Now, when you love someone so deeply that leaving them completely shatters your life, moving on is quite a challenging task. You gave them everything. Love, attention, care, etc. They meant the whole world for you.
You started placing your happiness in them and expected them to reciprocate. Of course, things didn’t go well, and now that you’re faced with a breakup, it is nothing but immensely traumatic on your end to accept this. But you know that you have to move on, and that makes things all the more difficult.
2. You Became Desperate
Psychopaths are very adept at enticing people. They can make you believe that they are perfect for you and that you will never find someone like them. So you start craving more affection from them. This makes you desperate because you begin to devalue yourself and make them the center of your world.
You need them beside you every minute. The key to your happiness now is in their hands. Psychopaths make you believe that they are the only person to make you feel that way. So without knowing if they are at all worthy of your love, you start giving everything. Your space, freedom, time, and energy.
Related: 7 Sneaky Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back
3. You Had To Deal With Triangulation
Psychopaths are suckers for happiness. They enjoy making things complicated and more difficult to solve. The one thing that forever remains constant among psychopaths is the willingness to triangulate a relationship. It doesn’t matter how dedicated you were in the relationship.
No matter how much you try to keep things in order, a psychopath will always indulge in infidelity. They will bring in a third person just to spoil the entire relationship. Psychopaths won’t imply that they’ve lost interest in you, but will play around with the situation.
Psychopathic people play mind games, manipulation tactics to keep you tied to themselves even if you know that they’re betraying you. This is something you had to face in your relationship, because of which you could never really make out if the person loved you or not.
4. You Had To Deal With Pure Negativity
In this fourth stage, you find yourself trapped in their darkness. Here, the true nature of the psychopath is revealed and they start making things worse. Even after knowing that you have unveiled their true nature, they remain unapologetic.
In fact, they start exhibiting more of their manipulative behaviors and sadistic actions. It is as if, everything you thought you knew about the person is a lie. The world seems to flip upside down. Your perception regarding the human mind tends to take a 180-degree turn.
This in turn makes you doubt yourself and the decisions you make in a relationship. Since reality has been altered, so has your belief and the level of trust in people. This mental trauma is hard to bear, and you feel smothered by all the negativity emanating from their actions.
Related: 4 Ways A Psychopath Uses Pathological Lying To Manipulate You
5. Your Soul Was Shattered
When they finally make you feel miserable, your soul starts to crumble. They succeed in destroying your mental health and crush your free will. You feel this immense burden to carry on with life. But at the same time, you begin to question your sanity.
You doubt yourself and want to make things right, but find yourself lacking the vital energy to move on or mend things. Psychopaths are energy parasites who nourish their sadism by feeding on others’ positiveness.
Since they have instilled in you enough doubt to make you feel guilty, your emotional burden starts outweighing your willingness to move on. Thus, it takes much longer to get out of the darkness created by a psychopath.
Michelle Kirby
It doesn’t !!! You just cut off every form of communication and you delete them from your brain. It’s your brain and you control it !
I think words like psychopath and sociopath get thrown around too often. Remember if you really love or loved them you could only think of them as hurt human beings. If you really love them you let them come and go, have safe boundaries for yourself, as true love really is unconditional.
It can take so long, because talking is a major part of healing and you often cannot find the words to describe this insidious abuse.
1.5
” Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong . Sometimes it’s letting go . ” ♡
How come we dont alway’s know when love begins , but we always know when it ends .
Salmon Rushdie ♡
Very well written article and exactly what I experienced, the rethinking of everything, humans, etc. I wish I had this to read when I was going through it. I had to depend on myself and a Higher Power and we did come through it stronger and healthier than ever before. My psychopath was the greatest soulmate I ever had as it taught me everything, about love, forgiveness, being true to me…..everything I would not have known… Thank you soulmate, but gotta go…
5
it takes so long because of the knowledge that the psychopath doesn’t change and never gives up or takes no for an answer – they seem to believe that they owned you and always will