Are you thinking about how to be happy and successful? Well, happiness is a subjective term. Every individual on this earth is unique and means of happiness may not be the same for all of us. But, there are certain things that we hold on that boost stress, pain, and suffering. The more we cling on to them the more we are allowing ourselves to be unhappy.
Here are 15 things you should give up if you are eagerly searching “how to be happy”
These are things that no longer serve you. Read on to know how giving up these things can make your life a lot easier and help you embrace the change.
1. Give up fear and doubt
“Fear is the most damnable, damaging thing to human personality in the whole world.”—William Faulkner
Do you have a fear of death, failure, losing your job, breaking up with someone or anything? Stop it. Stop now! Just understand and embrace your fear else you will lose your self-confidence. Think of the worst that can happen and get a sense of proportion.
No doubt, the mind is a superb instrument, but self-defeating self-talk becomes very destructive. Find mentors, seek inspiration, educate yourself and practice a positive attitude to be happy again.
2. Give up dwelling in past or future
Volumes of research on how to be happy again emphasized one mantra and that is – ‘live in present’. Being in the present moment gives you peace by keeping unnecessary worries and pain aside. Neither worrying can change the future nor can regretting decisions change the past.
However, there is no harm in planning and preparing for the future – but live in breath today – you will surely experience inner joy and happiness.
3. Give up expectations
Are you living life to other people’s expectations? Are you truly living your life? If you are living according to what your parents or spouse or friend, media and professor, think is best for you, then you are living up to other people’s expectations.
In the long-term, you’ll lose control over life and happiness. Because people living such a life eventually forget what makes them happy, their needs, wants, passion… and eventually, they forget about themselves. You only live once – you must live life to the fullest. Own your life and don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
For more on why you need to give up expectation read The Key To Bliss
4. Give up the need to be right
Do you want to appear right over all types of matters? Admitting mistakes may hurt your big, fat ego. But if you are leading a group and aiming for successful outcomes then give up the constant desire to have all your decisions validated.
With fewer arguments on who is right or wrong, you will gain freedom and flexibility, which could let people listen to you. Eventually, people will cooperate, share ideas and opinions that can boost your productivity and lower the risk of ending healthy relationships. Quit ‘I know better’ attitude and you will find back your happiness.
5. Give up self-criticism
In a study of 147 African Americans who were living in urban areas with low income and made suicide attempts, results showed that self-criticism increased depressive symptoms. The participants were also administered measures of self-compassion and it was found beneficial in reversing depressive symptoms and improving the quality of life.
Two powerful tools to be happy again are appreciation and self-love. Give up criticizing yourself, things, events, and people who are different than you. We all want love, happiness and something more. There is something that is wished by us all. Self-compassion will lift your energy and you will receive love and happiness in abundance.
6. Give up complaining
Do you start complaining when things don’t go your way? It may help you seek attention and gain mental rewards. But will it solve your problem? No. Rather it will increase your stress, anxiety and push you deep into misery.
Blaming others stops you from taking responsibility for your own outcome. You will fail to move forward and find a solution. Stop complaining and save your energy that will make you feel lighter and find solutions faster.
Want to know how complaining may kill you?
7. Give up the need to impress others
The joy of impressing people is not long-lasting. People-pleasing aids in filling a void in your life, but being your fake-self may be daunting over years and you will soak up more pressure. Think about what are the things that make you truly happy? Keep doing them consistently.
Take off all your masks – accept and embrace the real you! You will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly. Use vigilance and courage to guide the conversation and choose your compliments wisely. Get rid of toxic people – explore new relationships – talk to growth-oriented people – add value to your life. That’s how to be happy again!
8. Give up making excuses
A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kinds of excuses. The more we make excuses, the more we limit our capabilities. Whether it’s a lack of resources or having a specific goal, making excuses stops you from reaching your full potential.
Do you know that 99.9% of the time these excuses are not even real? Don’t delude yourself thinking about what could have been better or be the worst. The present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination.
9. Give up comparing your life with others
Comparing yourself to others makes you feel depressed and drags you into a pit of unhappiness. As said by Jen Sincero, there is no one exactly like you in this world. So, enjoy your uniqueness and progress towards your goals.
Remember that no one has a perfect life and you can’t do anything about it. Let people think whatever they want. What’s within your limits? Working hard to better your life and become happier.
Want to know effective strategies to give up comparing? Then read How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
10. Give up being opportunistic
While seeking opportunity can open new doors for you, being opportunistic can lead you towards an emotional roller coaster. Just ask yourself – Do you follow your instincts? Are you consistent with the vision of your life? Do you have the right strategy to meet your goals? If you are chasing opportunities, it will only lead you to a certain point fast – but with the right strategy, you can go far. Become a strategist – one of the best ways to be happy.