Relationships aren’t usually easy and at times cutting ties is the best solution for all parties. But what if your man doesn’t let you break up with him?
- Are you and your boyfriend absolutely miserable and yet, even so, he won’t let you break up with him?
- Do you try repeatedly to walk out the door, or ask him to leave, only to have him refuse to leave or refuse to stay away?
- Are you going crazy, trying to get out of this relationship and move on?
There are a few reasons why he won’t let you break up with him and understanding them might help you figure out a way to get rid of him for good!
1. He wants the power.
When you try to break up with your boyfriend, does he say ‘ You won’t be doing the leaving…I will.’ Does he refuse to respect your wants and needs because it’s all about him?
I have a client who has been having an affair for years and she wants, more than anything, to end it. Whenever she tries, he threatens her, swearing that he will be the only one who decides when they are over. And he usually walks out, only to reappear a few days or weeks later, as nothing had happened.
If your guy wants the power, I would encourage you to dig deep and get some power of your own. If he doesn’t want to leave, you leave, even if only for a few weeks. If he leaves and then tries to worm his way back in, don’t let him. And if you can’t be strong enough to keep him away, try making his life miserable. That just might do the trick.
You have power in this relationship, and in your life. Use it!
2. He wants someone to take care of him.
Every guy just wants to be taken care of. No matter how successful or independent they are, having someone tend to their needs is a key part of their happiness.
Imagine if you broke up with him – who would take care of him?
I have a client who took care of her man in a big way. She paid for the furniture for his apartment. She cooked and cleaned and walked the dogs. She was always there, waiting for him when he got home after work. She loved taking care of him, so she did.
As time went on, she felt like he was taking her for granted. He stopped coming home to spend time with her. When he was home, he was crabby. She continued to take care of him but was getting nothing in return. Soon, she decided that she was done.
Whenever she broached the subject of breaking up with him, he begged her to stay. He made promises that he would change, promises of love and forever. And so she stayed and continued to take care of him. And he went right back to taking her for granted.
Guys need someone to take care of them. One reason why he won’t let you break up with him is that he doesn’t want to lose his chief bottle washer.
So, what do you do? You stop taking care of him. That should do the trick.
3. He likes the sex.
We all know that men are very much driven by sex. That they think about it 24 hours a day and that they will do almost anything to have easy access to it whenever they can.
And that means you.
If you break up with him, he will no longer have access to the sex that he craves. Instead of coming home to you every night, he will have to make an effort to get some. And, while men love sex, making an effort to get it isn’t always an option.
Furthermore, sex that is the result of conflict, which is often ever-present when people are trying to break up, is really good sex. So why would he walk away from that now?
The cure for this issue – no more sex. Period.