What To Do About Your Trauma


What To Do About Trauma

Everyone is affected by trauma but not everyone deals with it and heals. Some bury it because doing something about it is painful. Others feel helpless and don’t know what to do about it.

And many dismiss their pain comparing it to tragedies like shootings, plane crashes, and weather disasters. All of those will keep you trapped in the pain.

The only way to get rid of the pain is to do something about it.

YOUR trauma matters and YOU can do something about it to get free.

Let’s start by defining trauma.

How do you define it? Do you define it by circumstances or by effects?

I asked a group of people How would you define trauma? and got some pretty amazing results.

Related: 4 Ways You Can Heal Trauma Bond After a Narcissistic Relationship


  • Nightmares that get scarred onto your mind, body, and soul.
  • Something that can hide in us and suddenly appear just long enough to mess us up.
  • Something that changes the footprint of your life.
  • Something painful/devastating/disappointing that changes you forever and requires a process to “get through”
  • A deep imprint on our soul…the influences can overtake our lives and is healed by the hand of God.
  • A catastrophic event that highjacks your brain and only God can heal it.
  • Sudden exposure to tragedy leaving it etched in your minds-eye.
  • Anything that shocks you deeply.
  • Any event that leaves a permanent bruise on your body, brain or soul, healed only by divine intervention.
  • Any event in your life that traumatized you. No matter what anyone else says about it!

All those point to the profound effect on the person.

None of them measure the pain by someone else’s.

That tells me, people instinctively know that trauma is personal. However, that’s not enough.

Knowing what trauma is when someone asks you is different than addressing it in your own life.

What To Do About Your Trauma


Because it has side effects that will wreak havoc in your life if not addressed.

We all walk through life experiences differently. We have different perceptions, perspectives, and thresholds for pain and suffering.

What one person can endure may leave another person emotionally devastated.

It’s not shameful to be traumatized.

But shame will show up.

  • Shame will compare their trauma with your trauma saying you have no right to feel that way.
  • Shame will say God is mad at you and you did something to deserve it.
  • Shame will say you don’t deserve love.

Shame lies – you ARE worthy of love!

Related: Gas Lighting – Something, everyone should know about. Are you a Victim Too ?

The trauma trapped inside you has nothing to do with how others see it, and no matter what happened – God didn’t do it to you.

It matters because you’re the only one who can do something about it.

Do you find yourself on the chart above?

Have you experienced being triggered into reliving a trauma?

Do you have internal screaming going on?

You don’t have to keep living with your trauma.

Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin. ― Danielle Bernock, Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals


To heal of your trauma you must take ownership of it.

I won’t lie to you—it takes work but it’s worth it.

The pain, the anguish and triggers trauma plants in us require validation and compassion or they will never heal.

  • Don’t measure it—validate it.
  • Don’t minimize it—see it.
  • Own it by calling it what it is—a trauma.

You can’t heal what you don’t identify.

Process your feelings.

  • Identify what trauma is saying—talk back.

Trauma silently talks to us.

Learning this was eye-opening to me. I hadn’t been aware that trauma had built a negative mindset that whispered to me with every trigger.

All I knew was the basket case I turned into and the shame that followed over my seemingly unwarranted reaction (my measurement).

Related: How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest Core Wound

I had to discover this invisible mindset and find the words that would silence the voice of trauma. It took a lot of processes. The process I went through the first time is in chapter eight of my first book.

Talking back to the trauma when I got triggered changed my life. Words are powerful. It took time to bring results but every time I talked back I gained ground.

  • Dealing with trauma can cause triggers—don’t do it alone.
  • Get help—there’s no shame in asking for help.

We need someone to enter our pain with us. To validate the pain and suffering along with us. This can be a trusted friend, a support group, a professional counsellor, or a life coach. I’ve received help from all of those and offer that same help to others.

Do you have the tendency to diminish your value? I did.

Shame says we’re not worthy of the love and compassion needed to heal.

Shame lies – you ARE worthy of love!

Dealing with your trauma will silence shame.


  • Let me come alongside and help you – schedule a free consultation.
  • Not ready to talk yet – get this book.
  • Have you addressed trauma in your life already? Share what helped you.

Written by: Danielle Bernock
Originally appeared on daniellebernock.com and is republished with permission.

What To Do About Trauma pin
What To Do About Your Trauma

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

10 Reasons Emotional Abuse Is Traumatizing

Emotional Abuse Is Traumatizing: 10 Effects Of Abuse

More than any kind of abuse, emotional abuse is traumatizing, leaving lasting scars on the soul. Here are 10 effects of emotional abuse on a person.

Emotional abuse has become more common and accepted in politics and the media. It’s widespread and under-reported, but should not be ignored. It can be more harmful than physical abuse, which is always preceded by emotional abuse.

Can Emotional Abuse Cause Trauma?

Up Next

Why Women Don’t Immediately Report Sexual Assault?

Why Women Don't Immediately Report Sexual Assault: 5 Reasons

When it comes to reporting sexual assault, many women find it difficult to report their traumatic experiences. Some women end up not reporting sexual assault at all.

So, why do women not report sexual assault, and even if they do, why do they end up reporting sexual assault years later? Let’s dive deep into the reasons why women don’t report sexual assault. 

Key Points:

Victims of sexual harassment and assault often delay reporting, with only one in five women reporting sexual abuse.

Up Next

Warning Signs Of Unresolved Trauma: Recognizing The Invisible Scars

7 Warning Signs Of Unresolved Trauma Shouldn't Be Ignored

Are the effects of trauma worse than the trauma itself? The following article will help to identify the signs of unresolved trauma and heal relationships.

In this blog, we will cover:

Unresolved trauma meaning

Unresolved trauma examples

Unresolved childhood trauma

Signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults

Unresolved trauma and relationships 

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can have long-lasting effects

Up Next

The Impact Of Dads On Daughters: 15 Signs Of Daddy Issues

15 Warning Signs Of Daddy Issues In A Woman

Ever heard the term ‘daddy issues’ and wondered what it means? Well, it’s not just a pop culture buzzword. Signs of daddy issues can manifest in a myriad of ways, affecting how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.

From seeking validation to struggling with trust, these signs can impact both men and women and have roots in our deepest emotional experiences.

Understanding the complex dynamics of daddy issues is important, but it is crucial to approach them with sensitivity and without reinforcing stereotypes.

So, let’s dive in and explore the telltale

Up Next

The Haunting Of Our Minds: The 11 Types Of Psychological Ghosts That Live In Your Head

11 Types Of Psychological Ghosts In Your Head That Linger

Have you ever been haunted by the ghosts in your head? By a memory or experience from your past? Something that lingers in your mind long after it’s over, affecting your behavior and emotions in profound ways? Have you ever thought like “There’s a monster in my mind”?

Maybe it’s a regret, a missed opportunity that you wish you could go back and change. Or perhaps it’s a traumatic event that still sends shivers down your spine whenever you think about it.

These are the psychologica

Up Next

8 Types Of Childhood Trauma And How To Defeat And Heal From Them

8 Types Of Childhood Trauma And How To Heal From Them

Childhood is a crucial stage in our development, and the experiences we have during this period shape our personalities and worldviews in many ways.

Unfortunately, some childhoods can be traumatic, leaving deep emotional scars. There are eight types of childhood trauma that can have a profound impact on a child’s development and future life outcomes.

A traumatic childhood can have significant long-term effects on a person’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being, which can last well into adulthood. The childhood wounds suffered by someone can end up defining their entire life, including their choices, relationships, and values.

Before we d

Up Next

Invisible Wounds: 10 Ways Unresolved Attachment Trauma Manifests in Adults

Possible Signs Of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Your childhood trauma wounds can haunt you for the rest of your life. Unresolved attachment trauma in adults is more common than you think, however, knowing the signs of attachment trauma in adults can help you understand yourself more and take the necessary steps to heal.

Key Points

Childhood trauma often refers to traumas experienced in the family of origin during the formative years of our development.

Although many traumas result from abuse or neglect, not all are.

Some childhood traumas, such as emotional neglect, were not done purposefully. Some parents might not even have known.


AI Chatbot Avatar
⚠️ Liza is in training with WMHA and may not always provide the most accurate information.