What Men Look For In A Partner According To Science


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What Men Look For In A Partner Science

Men aren’t that hard to please. Experiments and research have figured out what men look for in a partner. Take a look at the top ten things below.

Have you ever wondered why some women easily attract men more than others? While charm and attitude are vital, it isn’t everything.

For men, looking for a partner is one of their most critical decisions. They naturally put A LOT of effort into this thought.

After all, men are not only looking for a person who looks good but can also support them, share their joy, and ride the rollercoaster of life with them.

Nowadays, the secret to making a guy wants you to be his partner is promised in every magazine, blog, or podcast.

But what if we told you there are science-backed ways to increase your chances of making a man want to commit to you for life?

Related: 5 Things Men Look For In Someone Who is Marriage Material

What Men Look For In A Partner? 10 Things According To Science and Psychology

Most women crave a person who will love, appreciate, and cherish them. Men are the same.

But what are men really looking for in a partner? Brains? Beauty? Kitchen prowess? Ambition?

The answer is a little more complicated than that.

While no magic trick will motivate a man to make you his partner overnight, you can certainly increase your chances of achieving this by building these qualities below.

1. Men want someone that will make them feel like a hero

Scientifically what do men look for in a partner is it love or attraction?
Scientifically what do men look for in a partner is it love or attraction?

It’s normal for women to fantasize about finding their Mr. Right or Prince Charming. But did you know this can be translated to reality through the hero instinct?

Hero instinct is a concept coined by relationship expert James Bauer.

It’s based on fulfilling a man’s biological drive to feel needed, respected and to live a meaningful life with purpose.

According to Bauer, this instinct is ingrained in every man.

But to have your very own Prince Charming swoop you away, you need to understand how to trigger a man’s hero instinct.

The good news:

It’s simpler than you think. All you need to do is make a man feel needed.

Men want to feel strong and heroic, and it is your job to allow them to do this.

As much as you can, create opportunities for him to help, protect, and love you.

Once you activate his hero instinct, your man will find you irresistible.

But how?


Compliment him. Be specific, though.

Instead of saying, “You look so nice today,” say something along the lines of “I love that hairstyle on you” or “You’re such a great cook. This is one of the best dinners I’ve had in a while.”

Complimenting him when you’re alone is important.

But it’s even more effective when you do this in front of others.

This will make him feel like a million bucks.


Seek his help, even if you don’t believe in traditional gender roles.

Give him a chance to show effort.

Ask him to pick up heavy items, do some manual labor, or fix something broken in your home.

When he helps you and you thank him for it, he’ll feel awesome, boosting his self-esteem.

Even if you’re an independent woman capable of caring for yourself, letting your man serve you occasionally will stroke his hero instinct.

Related: 8 Things Men Look For In The Women Of Their Dreams And Its Not Related To Looks!

2. Men want someone with a dependable character

Men prefer to be with someone who has a dependable character
How to attract men – make sure to have these 3 characteristics

Researchers at the University of Iowa have proven that men are becoming more interested in a partner who is not only intelligent and educated but also has a dependable character.

Today’s generation of men grew up having females as role models (my mom is a single mother of 3 kids).

So it makes sense for them to want someone that can share their burden.

Dependability is a fundamental quality of a good partner.

If you are dependable, it means you consistently do what you promise.

You show up if your partner needs you.

Not just at times when you want to.

When your man knows he can count on you, it will develop his feelings for you even more.

After all, nobody wants to be with someone who won’t be there for them.

3. Men prefer women who wear natural-looking makeup

A natural looking woman is one of the things men look for when dating
A natural looking woman is one of the things men look for when dating

According to a survey by Zoosk, men claim that they prefer natural-looking women.

Out of over 1,200 women who wore eye makeup in their profile photo, only 139 were more likely to get messages from men.

Women who tend to wear darker makeup were also less likely to get asked out.

I’m not saying you should throw away all your expensive makeup today.

What I’m suggesting is that no man wants a woman who turns back into a pumpkin at midnight.

But then again, take this with a grain of salt.

Women who wear makeup tend to apply it to feel more confident about themselves, not to please others.

A strong woman won’t instantly get a makeup remover wipe just because a man tells her to.

At the end of the day, people who radiate positivity and confidence are the clear winners.

4. Men crave openness, kindness, and assertiveness in a woman

Men want a woman who is open and kind
Men want a woman who is open, kind, and assertive

Many women falsely think their physical appearance is the decisive factor that will make a man commit to them.

While this factor is undeniably important, it’s not the end game.

One study that examined the influence of personality on physical attractiveness found that men deemed a woman’s openness, kindness, and assertiveness important, especially those who are older.

Men want a woman who will be kind to them, accept them for who they are, and know what she wants.

A man’s physical attraction to a woman is inevitable.

But if he keeps that attraction for a woman over time, he will see the real her.

And it is that woman’s personality and character that will make him keep coming back for more.

5. Men want an honest woman

One of the things men look for in women is honesty
One of the things men look for in women is honesty

Another study that evaluated the effect of personality on perceptions of a target’s physical attributes found that women who were described as honest were seen as more attractive.

This isn’t surprising. Men naturally want an honest partner.

In fact: They constantly yearn for someone with this quality.

A partner that can be honest about what she wants is refreshing in a world full of fake people.

When a woman is honest, she is trustworthy, which makes a man feel more secure around her.

Honesty in a partner makes a man feel like he can be himself around her, which is the ultimate sign of compatibility.

After all, you can’t build a lasting relationship with someone you don’t trust.

Related: What Men Really Want From You: 5 Laws Of Attraction

6. Men prefer to be with someone who appreciates their humor

Men prefer women who appreciates their sense of humor
Men prefer women who appreciates their sense of humor

One of life’s simplest truths is this:

Women want someone who makes them laugh, and men want someone who laughs at their jokes.

This complementary concept is not random.

Researchers have found that both men and women use humor to attract each other and signal interest.

But as your relationship progresses, your humor also changes, and it becomes a means for both of you to soothe each other and help you overcome rough patches.

Humor comes in many forms. 

It can be sarcastic, ironic, satirical, and even witty. 

While many people view humor as something that is just surface, it’s an excellent means to communicate intelligence.

As your bond with the man of your dreams becomes stronger, you’ll realize that humor is not just about jokes.

It’s about sharing a special moment of laughter that brings you closer together.

7. Men want a partner that shows vulnerability but not neediness

Men prefer women who show vulnerability
Vulnerability is one of the things men look for in women

Being a partner to someone requires you to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability requires putting your walls down and showing a different side of you.

This act involves bearing your heart, and while risky, it can be gratifying and liberating.


One of the struggles of women is knowing where to draw the line between vulnerability and neediness. While these two sit at opposite ends of the spectrum, they can easily slide from one end to the other.

According to psychologists and relationship experts, vulnerability is a sign of strength and security. It means that you feel confident enough to share your inner self. 

In contrast:

Neediness is a sign of insecurity, showing that you are desperate for the other person to accept you.

While vulnerability makes a man feel trusted, neediness sucks out his energy.

When you’re needy, you constantly need your partner to make you feel better or whole.

Needing someone does not automatically equate to neediness.

On the extreme end of the spectrum, it is characterized by a constant demand for affection, a lack of self-confidence, and a fear of abandonment.

8. You should know how to use body language to your advantage

One of the things men prefer women to do is when you express yourself through body language
Expressing yourself through body language is one of the things men prefer women to do

It’s common to hear advice from relationship experts about the best ways to talk to your partner.

But knowing what you should physically do to keep your relationship healthy is only sometimes discussed.

As the cliché goes, it’s not just about your words that show how you feel.

One of the universal ways to display how you feel is through body language.

Research proves that body language plays a substantial part in making a man want someone to be his partner.

For example:

Open body posture is a sign of confidence, quality men love.

That’s not all.

Even simple mistakes like twisting your waist or positioning your body away from your man when talking indicates that you’re not interested or present.

This will make him feel like he is not important to you.

Instead of clamming up, use body language to your advantage when you talk.

Put your hand on his back or shoulder to show support and acknowledgment.

9. Men want a partner they can trust

Among the top 10 things men look for in a woman loyalty matters the most
Among the top 10 things men look for in a woman, loyalty matters the most

In a survey of over 7,000 Australian online dating users that asked respondents to rate nine characteristics of potential partners, it was found:

As men grow older, they place great importance on openness and trust.

Trust in your relationship creates a solid foundation for your bond. 

Without it, it’s impossible to build intimacy.

Even the world’s leading psychologists encourage individuals to develop trust in their relationships.

When you can show trust in your man, it shows that you know they will have your back.

More importantly, it helps you navigate challenges and conflicts better.

So how can you build trust?

Establishing trust is about consistently trying to do things right.

You may be tempted to apologize and feel remorseful when you hurt your partner’s feelings.

But to your partner, saying “sorry” is not enough. 

Instead of saying sorry, you must do something to make amends.

Another way to show that you are trustworthy is by making your word count. 

When you speak, it’s important to carry out what you say.

If you make a promise, follow through.

10. Men love intelligent women

Most men love intelligent women
Most men love intelligent women

To look like a stereotypical provider, many men in the past wanted a woman they could teach. 

Because of this, millions of women all over the world downplayed their intelligence to stroke a man’s ego.

However, the tables have now turned.

This phenomenon is called the “Clooney Effect,” a nod to one of the most publicized relationships in recent years – actor George Clooney and human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin.

Helen Fisher’s annual study on American singles for Match.com, which involved over 5,600 singles across the country, found out:

87% of men said they would date a woman who is more educated, intellectual, and made more money than they did.

To put it bluntly, being smart and intelligent is a turn-on.

While most men don’t want a woman out to prove she’s smarter than him, they do want a woman who can challenge them and hold her own.

For starters:

Knowing how to get things done is one of the qualities that men find attractive. 

If you’re with a man, show that you’re capable.

By doing this, you’re creating an opportunity where he will feel proud to be seen with you.

Related: 4 Unspoken Traits Every Man Looks For In A Partner

These were some of the things men look for in a woman based on Science. Which one of these do you relate to? Share your thoughts in the comments below on how to attract men you like.

Written by: Sebastian Klein
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