10 Tips For Dealing With Negative Colleagues

 / 

,
dealing with negative colleagues

While a toxic workplace may manifest in many ways, the majority of it arises from negative colleagues and negative energies at work. Here are some tips that will help you survive in such a workplace when things become toxic.

Other people suck. Just kidding…but sometimes it sure can feel that way! Dealing with people who complain or are negative can be draining. Both negativity and positivity are contagious. In our recent survey, Gloria asked if we could share some tips for managing negative energies or colleagues at work.

dealing with negative colleagues
Dealing with negative colleagues

Here Are Ten Tips For Managing Negative Energies At Work:

1. Focus On Yourself And What’s In Your Control.

control your response to negative energy
Dealing with negative colleagues

Remember who you are and what’s important to you.  Why are you here? (in this job, this situation, this room…what’s your deeper motivation?) There’s something that matters to you. Maybe it’s having an impact on your work, or providing for your family. 

Get clear on your values and what matters to you, and make a decision to not let other people’s negativity derail you. Stay committed to your truth and your priorities if you want to deal with negative energies at work.

Focus on what you can control. Only things that can be initiated by you or are in your control are worth your time and attention. Use the five powerful questions in step ten below anytime you feel stuck.

Related: How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself

2. Exit Stage Left.

Refuse to get sucked into other people’s drama. If people around you are being negative or gossiping, remove yourself from the conversation. Leave the room if necessary. If you’re worried about offending people, try saying; “I need to go to the bathroom / make a call / get a glass of water,” and simply excuse yourself.

Leave the room or leave the conversation. When that’s not possible, redirect the conversation to more positive topics or simply stay quiet and go to your happy place inside. (Try this (free) 30 Day Meditation Challenge to feel more calm and peace in just 5 minutes a day)

3. Be A Gossip Free Zone.

gossip zone
Dealing with negative colleagues

Don’t gossip. Gossip lets people know you’re open to drama. It can be tempting to talk about others, especially as a way to build a connection through a common enemy. But in the end, gossip is a form of drama. Make a commitment to live a gossip-free life, and stop yourself whenever you say anything negative about others.

If people are gossiping around you, leave the conversation or say; “I’ve made a commitment to only say positive things about others…so I’m just gonna be quiet!” That’s a great way to deal with negative energies at work.

4. They Go Low, You Go High. 

When in doubt, remember Michelle Obama’s wonderful words; “When they go low, we go high.” Be the better person, don’t stoop to other people’s level if they’re trying to drag you down.

Remember you’re bigger than this. Life is bigger than this. When you’re on your deathbed, this situation won’t matter at all. Reframe by refocusing on the bigger picture and being the bigger person. 

Related: 3 Biggest Myths About Boundaries and How Boundaries Brings Us Closer To Others

5. Acknowledge Your Triggers. 

If you get sucked into other people’s drama, can’t stay neutral or calm, it means you’re triggered in some way. Something they’re doing is a match for a pain point in you. Otherwise, it wouldn’t bother you to this degree. 

Get curious by asking yourself; “Hmm, what does this remind me of? When have I felt this way before?” 

Do the work to clear your own triggers, and much of the drama around you will simply dissolve.

6. Let It Go. Don’t Fester.

let go
Dealing with negative colleagues

Scream into a pillow, write in your journal or write a horrible letter to the person that you’ll never share (write this at home! You don’t want it found at the office). Do what you need to get that crappy energy out of your system. One study found that people who journaled for three days, twenty minutes a day, reported significantly less depression scores.

There are a few meditations and energy healing techniques to let go of other people’s negative energies at work. 

One quick and effective way to let go is to use deep belly breathing. Whenever you find yourself in a negative situation, take a few deep breaths all the way into your belly to calm yourself down. Inhale deeply to the count of five, and exhale to the count of eight. Having a longer exhale will activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help calm you down.

7. The Power Of Ritual.

Another helpful trick is to have a small ritual or daily habit to let go of other people’s negative energy. One client of mine who worked at a fast growth tech start-up liked visualizing letting go of the day’s stress every time he got in the elevator to leave work. As the elevator went down, he’d imagine that he was releasing all the stress from his day. Then he’d listen to upbeat music as he left the elevator to get in a really happy mood. 

Washing your hands or lighting a candle first thing when you get home from work is another simple, effective ritual. It sounds silly, but give it a shot and see for yourself. As you feel the warm water and bubbles of soap on your hands, visualize or imagine that you’re washing off other people’s negative energy and the stress from your day. Do this before entering your private space with those you love. This will help you avoid bringing that negative energy into your home.

Related: 11 Morning Rituals That Can Change Your Life

8. Practice Self-Compassion And Forgiveness.

When you’re frustrated by the behavior of others, instead of judging them or beating yourself up for judging them, practice self-compassion. Start by saying to yourself; “This is hard. Other people have struggled with this too. Let me be kind to myself at this moment.” 

Then, imagine what you’d say to a friend who was dealing with a similar situation. Say those same words to yourself.

You can also practice forgiveness towards the person whose behavior impacted you negatively. Try imagining them as a young child, innocent and happy. See if you can have compassion for that version of them.

Related: How Self-Compassion Can Fight Perfectionism

Remember, inside every bully, jerk or a**hole is a wounded little girl or boy who didn’t get what they needed. When someone feels whole and complete, they don’t feel the need to harm others. People lash out or are negative to others only because they’re in pain themselves. Think back on a time when you did or said something you’re not proud of; were you hurting inside when you did it? 

Put yourself in their shoes by thinking; “This person, just like me, wants to be successful. This person, just like me, is trying to prove their worthiness. This person, just like me, wants to feel loved and cared for. This person, just like me, wants to be respected. This person, just like me, has experienced pain in their life and sometimes takes it out on others in an unproductive way. This person, just like me, deserves to feel love and belonging….” 

9. Surround Yourself With Happy People.

Here’s a brutal, loving truth; if you constantly find yourself surrounded by miserable people, maybe you’re the common denominator! This is not a fun truth to acknowledge, but naming it is the first step to shifting it. 

If this feels true to you, don’t beat yourself up. It’s ok. You can make a new choice at any moment and begin surrounding yourself with happy people. Pay attention to the culture of an organization and look for red flags. Are the people genuinely happy to be there? 

Think about what you need to be happy, and choose an organization that’s a good fit (if you’re a parent who wants to leave by 4 pm to see your kid’s soccer game, don’t work at a start-up run by single twenty year olds who stay at the office until 8 pm…unless they seem empathetic. State your needs upfront and see how they react.

One billionaire’s #1 piece of hiring advice is to hire happy people. Choose teams, bosses and companies with happy people. Make hiring happy people and working for happy people a priority. It really is that simple. 

10. Don’t Be A Victim. Use These Five Powerful Questions.

victim

Anytime you feel impacted by negative energies at work, try asking yourself the following five questions;

Hmmm, how am I contributing to this situation?

Hmmm, what is it I really want (that’s in my control and can be initiated by me)?

What am I willing to do to create that?

What is the gift or opportunity in this situation? How is this making me a better person?

What is this contrast showing me about myself and my desires? If this situation is showing me what I don’t want, how do I want to choose differently next time?

These questions will help you stop feeling like a victim and start to feel empowered to choose your own reality.

Now that you’ve read these ten tips for dealing with negative colleagues, we’d love to hear from you! 

Leave a comment below and let us know, how do you handle other people’s negative energies at work!

Some of the best tools to manage other people’s negative energy involve practicing self-compassion, forgiveness, and deep breathing…all of which we’ll be doing in the 15 Day Meditation Challenge!

(You’re in luck) It’s not too late to join. So…what are you waiting for?!  Join now!

May you create work and a life you love,

Vanessa 

P.S.  Enjoyed these tips for dealing with negative energies at work? Share this blog with your friends & family.


Written By: Vanessa Loder
Originally Appeared On: Vanessaloder.com
Republished with permission. 
negative energies at work pin
dealing with negative colleagues pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

“I Don’t Want To Work Anymore!”: 8 Reasons Why You Are Tired Of The Daily Grind

"I Don't Want To Work Anymore!": Reasons Why You Hate Work

Do you constantly say to yourself “I don’t want to work anymore!!”? Hey, we’ve all been there. Staring at our alarm clocks, dreading the sound that signals another long day of work. The thought of dragging yourself out of bed and getting ready to do the same everyday routine can be downright depressing.

In this fast-paced world, it’s no wonder that many of us have reached a breaking point when it comes to the daily grind. But the question is, why do we feel this way? Is it normal to not want to work anymore? What are the reasons for not wanting to go to work?

Well, grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine, absolutely no judgment here!), because we’re about to delve into eight relatable reasons why you might be telling yourself “I don’t want to work anymore”.



Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior



Up Next

The ‘Unhappy Leaves’ Effect: A Chinese Tycoon’s Secret to Corporate Success

Unhappy Leaves For Employees: Super Reasons To Embrace It

It is not easy to find work-life balance in the world today. Nevertheless, a Chinese retail giant has come up with unhappy leaves for employees. This new movement really defies toxic corporate culture. Let’s find out how!

What Are Unhappy Leaves For Employees?

Pang Dong Lai, headed by its founder and chairman Yu Donglai, is changing the traditional working culture. And this Chinese company introduces unhappy leaves.



Up Next

How Work Depression Can Impact Your Life And What To Do

What is Work Depression and How To Deal with It

Does being at work feel like a prison sentence? Is it becoming increasingly difficult to perform your tasks and meet deadlines? Does your job feel like a heavy cloud hanging over you? If so, you may be experiencing the unspoken reality of work depression.

While most of us become burnt out from time to time due to the daily grind, work depression can be much severe and can seriously affect your career and life. Let us explore what is work depression, its signs, causes, and the profound impact it can have on mental health. 

But most importantly, we will also learn about some valuable strategies to cope with depression in the workplace, enabling you to find a sense of balance and well-being in your professional life.

What is W



Up Next

Having A Hard Time Managing Toxic Employees? 8 Constructive Things You Can Do

Having A Hard Time Managing Toxic Employees? Things To Do

Ah, toxic employees. They can be like a bad case of poison ivy in your organization – annoying, always spreading negativity, and making everyone feel uncomfortable. Whether they’re the office gossip, the perpetually grumpy Gus, or the master of passive-aggressive emails, managing toxic employees is a challenge every manager dreads.

However, there are some effective ways to deal with and handle toxic employees at work. In this article, we are going to explore the different types of toxic employees, how to identify toxic employees, and strategies for managing toxic employees.

So, are you ready to dive deep into this? Let’s get started, shall we? First, let us talk about the types of toxic employees.



Up Next

How To Deal With Verbal Harassment In The Workplace? 10 Effective Coping Mechanisms

How To Deal With Verbal Harassment? Best Coping Mechanisms

Imagine you’re at work, minding your own business, when all of the sudden, you find yourself in a tough spot. Your coworker, well, let’s call him Mr. Insensitive, starts hurling hurtful comments at you like they’re going for the gold medal in a stand-up comedy gig. So, how to deal with verbal harassment?

Dealing with verbal harassment in the workplace is like being trapped in a never-ending loop of awkwardness and frustration. But don’t worry, because together we’re going to look at how to deal with verbal harassment, because ain’t nobody got time for that nonsense.

Before we get down to understanding strategies regarding how to handle verbal harassment in the workplace, let’s find out what is verbal harassment and some verbal harassment examples.



Up Next

Feeling Miserable At Work? 10 Tips On How To Cope In A Job You Hate And Protect Your Mental Health

Hate Your Job? Tips On How To Cope In A Job You Hate

Do you hate your job? Do you feel trapped and suffocated all day at work? Do you feel mentally and emotionally exhausted once you clock out? If so, then here’s exactly what you need – how to cope in a job you hate.

Being the responsible adult that you are, you know you still need to pay the bills, regardless of how much you may hate your job. So immediately leaving a terrible job that you hate might not be the most practical option for most of us. So you tell yourself to pull your socks up and try harder. But the more you force yourself, the worse you feel.

Your mental and emotional well-being has gone down the drain. You have no idea where your career is going. You sulk all day at work. You zone out at times. You distract yourself with social media. Y