Are You Struggling To Surrender During Your Breakup?

are you struggling to surrender during your breakup

When I was going through my breakup, my relationship status with surrender was complicated. Some days I felt like I was totally okay and ready to move on. And others day, well—just the opposite.

But I never really thought about the idea of surrender. You know, letting go and seeing what the Universe had in store.

My fear that my ex would forget about me, move on, or that I wouldn’t find someone better, kept me from actually surrendering to what was unfolding and allowing new, better, or amazing things to come into my life.

And so, here I am sharing what I’ve learned about surrender. This practice—or art—is something I try to do daily, and I have fallen in love with life because of it.

I surrender my worries and invite the greatest possibilities to come forward.

It didn’t happen overnight, but emails and conversations like the one I’m having with you today I hope will help you on your journey.

Related: Breaking Up for Good? 5 Ways to Make It Stick

What Does It Mean To Surrender During Your Breakup?

For me, surrendering means becoming conscious of where I’m holding onto the proverbial “wheel,” and then surrendering that thought/fear up and inviting a new way to see it.

Maybe you’re really worried that if you don’t stay in touch with your ex that they’ll forget about you. You might be reminded how “out of sight is out of mind” as you often heard growing up. You might be afraid to surrender as that could be your reality which is a huge fear of yours. But part of you believes you’re broken up for a reason, but you’re worried about what the future holds.

If I were to invite you to surrender in this case, I’d talk about how this fear is more a thought than a truth. It’s possible they might move on, but it’s also possible that “distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

These are both possibilities and thoughts (and these are not the only possibilities either), and it depends on how you feel that day that creates those thoughts. They’re not absolute truths at all. But when we actively surrender, we invite what’s meant to be to fall into place and let go of the constant worrying and rumination (which is our brain’s way of trying to feel safe).

Surrender invites the idea that “if you love someone let them go and if they come back then that’s how you know you’re meant to be.”

surrender breakup
Are You Struggling To Surrender During Your Breakup?

But Surrendering Makes Me Feel Really Anxious! How Do I Stop It?

Surrendering can be REALLY scary in the beginning because we are so conditioned to consider all the worst-case scenarios of life. But that robs us of our joy, and for greater things to happen for us.

So, honor those fears and feelings, and choose to let yourself be amazed by surrendering one fear at a time.

Related: How To Be Alone While Going Through A Breakup

How Can I Stay Committed To Surrender When I’m Just Getting Started?

Be gentle with yourself, first and foremost.

Secondly, choose activities that channel those feelings and fears constructively, like journaling it out, or meditating, breathwork, or listening to podcasts about the art of allowing and letting go.

When you feel anxious or those fears bubbling up, sit or lie down and breathe in and out through your nose to get grounded. Then, ask yourself, “what do I need right now?” Sit for a minute or two and you might receive guidance at that time, or after. But allow yourself to get calm and tune into your natural guidance system within you.

I hope you received this email at exactly the right time for you.

Meditating is a really powerful way to practice the art of surrender especially when emotions are high during a breakup. I created the 21-day meditation journey to help you surrender to this new chapter of your life with ease, to help you take care of yourself, and actually enjoy your own company.

You will get through this, and joining a 21-day journey is a great way to feel like you’ve got something to look forward to and a beautiful act of self-love in this time of total confusion.

If you’ve been feeling called to heal yourself through your breakup, join the 21-day meditation healing journey.

Receive a channeled meditation every single day PLUS a printable 21-day journal, 5-minute reset mindfulness meditation & guide to staying committed and enjoying your 21-day journey.

Written By Nancy Ruth Deen   
Originally Appeared On Hello Breakup 
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Are You Struggling To Surrender During Your Breakup?

Nancy Ruth Deen

Nancy Ruth Deen is a breakup coach and former matchmaker. After quitting matchmaking, she became a certified psycho-spiritual life coach and decided to create a coaching practice dedicated to helping people redefine what it means to go through a breakup, and support them in their spiritual growth. She believes that the key to getting over your ex is rediscovering yourself in the process.View Author posts