Are You Struggling To Surrender During Your Breakup?


are you struggling to surrender during your breakup

When I was going through my breakup, my relationship status with surrender was complicated. Some days I felt like I was totally okay and ready to move on. And others day, well—just the opposite.

But I never really thought about the idea of surrender. You know, letting go and seeing what the Universe had in store.

My fear that my ex would forget about me, move on, or that I wouldn’t find someone better, kept me from actually surrendering to what was unfolding and allowing new, better, or amazing things to come into my life.

And so, here I am sharing what I’ve learned about surrender. This practice—or art—is something I try to do daily, and I have fallen in love with life because of it.

I surrender my worries and invite the greatest possibilities to come forward.

It didn’t happen overnight, but emails and conversations like the one I’m having with you today I hope will help you on your journey.

Related: Breaking Up for Good? 5 Ways to Make It Stick

What Does It Mean To Surrender During Your Breakup?

For me, surrendering means becoming conscious of where I’m holding onto the proverbial “wheel,” and then surrendering that thought/fear up and inviting a new way to see it.

Maybe you’re really worried that if you don’t stay in touch with your ex that they’ll forget about you. You might be reminded how “out of sight is out of mind” as you often heard growing up. You might be afraid to surrender as that could be your reality which is a huge fear of yours. But part of you believes you’re broken up for a reason, but you’re worried about what the future holds.

If I were to invite you to surrender in this case, I’d talk about how this fear is more a thought than a truth. It’s possible they might move on, but it’s also possible that “distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

These are both possibilities and thoughts (and these are not the only possibilities either), and it depends on how you feel that day that creates those thoughts. They’re not absolute truths at all. But when we actively surrender, we invite what’s meant to be to fall into place and let go of the constant worrying and rumination (which is our brain’s way of trying to feel safe).

Surrender invites the idea that “if you love someone let them go and if they come back then that’s how you know you’re meant to be.”

surrender breakup

But Surrendering Makes Me Feel Really Anxious! How Do I Stop It?

Surrendering can be REALLY scary in the beginning because we are so conditioned to consider all the worst-case scenarios of life. But that robs us of our joy, and for greater things to happen for us.

So, honor those fears and feelings, and choose to let yourself be amazed by surrendering one fear at a time.

Related: How To Be Alone While Going Through A Breakup

How Can I Stay Committed To Surrender When I’m Just Getting Started?

Be gentle with yourself, first and foremost.

Secondly, choose activities that channel those feelings and fears constructively, like journaling it out, or meditating, breathwork, or listening to podcasts about the art of allowing and letting go.

When you feel anxious or those fears bubbling up, sit or lie down and breathe in and out through your nose to get grounded. Then, ask yourself, “what do I need right now?” Sit for a minute or two and you might receive guidance at that time, or after. But allow yourself to get calm and tune into your natural guidance system within you.

I hope you received this email at exactly the right time for you.

Meditating is a really powerful way to practice the art of surrender especially when emotions are high during a breakup. I created the 21-day meditation journey to help you surrender to this new chapter of your life with ease, to help you take care of yourself, and actually enjoy your own company.

You will get through this, and joining a 21-day journey is a great way to feel like you’ve got something to look forward to and a beautiful act of self-love in this time of total confusion.

If you’ve been feeling called to heal yourself through your breakup, join the 21-day meditation healing journey.

Receive a channeled meditation every single day PLUS a printable 21-day journal, 5-minute reset mindfulness meditation & guide to staying committed and enjoying your 21-day journey.

Written By Nancy Ruth Deen   
Originally Appeared On Hello Breakup 
are you struggling to surrender during your breakup pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

When You Refuse To Let Go Of Someone You Love, Even When They Don’t Love You Anymore

Why You Should Let Go Of Someone You Love

I get it. You don’t want to let go of someone you love. Even when it’s clear that it’s over. Even when it’s clear that it is time and things will only get worse from here. Yet, you want to hold on just a little longer. But if you truly love someone let them go.

“No! No! It’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. It’s working. Listen to me, I know it’s working. This is normal. Show me a relationship that doesn’t have problems. I will make it work. I know I can. Just give me a little time. Just a little more time. Please, just bear with me for a second here. Please. Don’t take it away from me yet. Please. It’s not time. It can’t be. Will you just listen to me once for god’s sake?”

But deep down you know it in your heart. You just know it. It is screaming at you. And even though you may pretend you

Up Next

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Desperately Trying To Hold On To

How To Let Go Of Someone You Are Trying To Hold On To

Do you know what happens when you desperately hold on to someone you really need to let go of? When you hold on to the idea of “us” and refuse to see the reality for what it is? You force the person you love the most in the world to hate you. You compel them to resent you. And in this process, you hurt yourself more than the other person did. This is why it’s crucial that we talk about how to let go of someone you don’t want to lose.

No one wants to let go of love

Especially when it’s the real deal. Especially when you’ve been told you are not worthy of love all your life. And this one person comes into your life and completely changes

Up Next

8 Unmistakable Signs He Will Never Come Back: The Final Farewell

Glaring Signs He Will Never Come Back: No Second Chances

Ah, the bittersweet realm of love and heartbreak. We’ve all been there, hanging onto that tiny edge of hope that things might get better again, and we don’t have to go our separate ways. But let’s face it, sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Today, we are going to talk about the signs he will never come back. Yes, it’s going to get a bit heavy today.

If you are wondering whether he is ever going to make a grand return to your life or not, then let me tell you – you are in for some tough love, my friend. In this article, we are going to explore eight glaring signs that are repeatedly telling you that your ex is not coming back.

It’s time to face the reality and discover if it’s time for you to leave the past behind you and look forward to a better and brighter future.

Up Next

Oystering Dating: 3 Game-Changing Insights That Could Transform Your Love Life Post Breakup

What Is Oystering Dating Trend? Important Things

Life after a breakup can feel like wandering in the dark. You had something that made you comfortable, and suddenly it’s replaced by something vast and uncertain. But out of the waves of sadness and pain comes a new outlook on life – Oystering dating.

What Is Oystering Dating Trend?

Lia Holmgren, a relationship counselor, came up with the oystering dating term. This term isn’t about eating seafood until you stop feeling feelings but the philosophy is all about taking back control over your own life.

Up Next

Out-of-the-Box Ways To Get Over A Breakup, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Unusual Ways To Get Over A Break Up Of The Zodiacs

Sometimes a break up can hit us so hard, that we begin to act like someone we’re not. Everyone gets over heartbreak in their own way — some ways to get over a break up are just different than others.

Breakups can make you do some unimaginable things. Things that, in retrospect, make you question the kind of person you are (and were). So, when you’re ready to laugh at yourself and your past, here are a few unorthodox ways on how to get over a breakup.

Are you ready to know how zodiac signs deal with breakups in an unorthodox fashion? Let’s go!

Up Next

6 Worst Types Of Breakups Hard To Get Over: Heartbreak Hall Of Fame

Worst Types Of Breakups: The Heartbreak Hall Of Fame

Welcome to the land of breakups, where we put a magnifying glass on the most chaotic and worst types of breakups that can make even the strongest hearts feel a whole lotta pain. Being in love is a beautiful experience, isn’t it? However, there’s always a risk of things not working out, but that’s the risk you take when you fall for someone, right?

Breakups are never pleasant, and they always hurt. But, but, but. There’re 6 types of painful breakups that just knock the wind out of you, and these are probably the worst types of breakups, in my humble opinion.

In this article, we will look at some of the worst t

Up Next

3 Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Dealing with frustration in a relationship is sometimes a very normal thing to experience. But some people let their frustration get the better of themselves, and end up grudge dumping their partner. This article is going to talk about experiencing frustration in relationships, and how grudge dumping destroys relationships.


Frustration is a natural part of any intimate relationship; grudge dumping isn’t.

Pent-up frustration can lead to temper tantrums, explosive arguments, and words designed to produce maximum hurt.

Healthy ways to process frustration in a relationship includ