Step 5: Love the right way
Do you communicate your love in a profoundly meaningful way? Do you love the way your partner wants to be loved? Or do you simply settle for good enough? Shetty asks us to love our partners the best we can and never settle for just okay. It is possible that you have never been loved the right way, so you may be confused about your own love language. However, it is crucial that you put in the necessary effort to express love to your partner the right way. Even if you have past emotional scars, understanding the 5 love languages can help you heal.
Shetty says “If you want an okay, fine, average, neutral, mediocre relationship, then you can continue to do nothing.” But if you want a lasting and fulfilling relationship, then you need to identify their needs and love your partner in the best way you can.
Step 6: You can’t buy love
“Things don’t replace love languages. Gifts, money, showing off, random travel – none of this can be a substitute for deeply understanding the love language of your partner,” Shetty says. This is why it is imperative that you make some effort to understand the 5 love languages instead of covering up your limitations and relationship problems with things or money. You cannot replace authentic emotional connection with materialistic possessions. That’s not how you form a meaningful relationship.
If you don’t work hard to build a connection with your partner, then someone else will, irrespective of how much money you spend to buy their love. He warns “Often we can waste time, money, and energy thinking that we can patch things up because of this incredible lifestyle we live or incredible things that we do. It doesn’t work like that.”
The Power of 5 love languages
When you understand how each of you communicate love in the relationship, you can effectively and easily put it into practice. With the right intention and effort, you can start speaking your partner’s love language and they can speak yours. Family therapist and divorce mediator Katerina Fager explains “It may take a few conversations to fully understand each other’s love languages, and it will take practice and patience to put those expressions of love into action, but the end result – feeling loved and secure in your relationship – is worth the effort.”
If both you and your partner are dedicated to building a deeper relationship and loving each other in a way that resonates with each of you, you will end up creating a happier and more fulfilling life. “Remember, healthy relationships aren’t born, they’re developed through attention and effort,” concludes author Sherri Gordon.
Here is an interesting video that you may like: