5 Ways I Set Stage For My Spouse Cheating On Me

Written By:

Written By:

Ways Spouse Cheating On Me 2

From lack of love to dealing with low self-esteem, there are many reasons behind cheating. If you have your spouse cheating in a relationship, hereโ€™s whyโ€ฆ

In retrospect, I know that, in many ways, I set the stage for my spouseโ€™s cheating.

Donโ€™t get me wrong, I donโ€™t blame myself for his cheating but I do know that, in many ways, my actions made it so that our relationship was vulnerable to one of us stepping out.

I have a tremendous amount of regret for the things that I did that made our marriage susceptible to infidelity and I want to share them with you today so that you donโ€™t make the same mistakes I made over the course of my marriage.

Here are 5 ways I set the stage for my spouseโ€™s cheating.

5 Causes Of Spouse Cheating: The Infidelity Stages Explained

1. I took him for granted.

When we first got married, my life was all about us as a couple.

We worked together and played together and life was grand.

And then we had kids and everything changed.

The kids and their activities became the focus of my life. Whatever they needed took priority over anything else. I had wanted to be a mom my whole life and having kids meant all of my dreams had come true.

Unfortunately, I think the arrival of the kids were my spouseโ€™s nightmare.

I am not saying that he didnโ€™t love the kids. He loved them madly. I am saying that my focus totally turned away from him and towards the children and I am sure that must have felt horrible for him.

And, not only did I focus on the kids, I expected him to focus on the kids as well, to make them the center of our family and not us.

As a result, I just expected him to be there when I needed him. I expected him to pick the kids up if I needed him to. To take them away on Saturday mornings so that I could get things done. To coach soccer and to go to races. Etc.

And I am not sure that I ever asked him to do those things โ€“ I just assumed that he would.

I am hoping that I said thank you for the things that he did but I am guessing that I wasnโ€™t so good at doing that which probably left him feeling unimportant and invisible.

Perhaps, if I had made him more a part of the team instead of this person who would do my bidding, I wouldnโ€™t have left him feeling this way and, when someone else came along who might actually see him, he might have been able to resist the temptation to stray.

Related: 10 Things No One Tells You About Cheating

2. I treated him with contempt.

This is the thing that I regret the most.

I know that, in spite of everything that he did for me, everything that I took for granted that he went along with, with no complaints, I treated my spouse with contempt.

spouse cheating

The definition of contempt is โ€˜the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.โ€™ And this is exactly how I treated him.

When he came home late from work and missed dinner, I said that I would โ€˜fireโ€™ him. When he did something, but not the way I wanted him to, I would passive aggressively say something demeaning.

I criticized the way he did everything โ€“ telling him what he was doing wrong. I didnโ€™t support his dreams and hobbies but brushed them off as pipe dreams that he would never achieve.

There is nothing that will kill a relationship quicker than contempt. Why? Because with contempt comes feelings of anger and resentment. Of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Of not trusting your partner to care about your feelings. Of believing that not only do they not love you but that they donโ€™t even like you.

Pages: 1 2

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

40+ Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That Will Leave Him Cracking Up

Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That'll Crack Him Up

If you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship, and fill your conversations with humor and laughter, then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to do a deep dive into some of the best and funny questions to ask your boyfriend.

Whether youโ€™re looking for funny questions to ask your partner during a road trip, a lazy Sunday, or just to break the ice, a little humor goes a long way. After all, who doesnโ€™t love a good laugh?

If you want to tease his goofy side, and get him to wrack his mind in ridiculously funny ways, then this list of questions will surely do the trick.

When it comes to funny questions to ask your partner to make him laugh, this is one of the sneaky ways to also get to know him better – his

Up Next

Is the Romance Gone? What to Do When Your Partner Feels Like a Roommate

Does Your Partner Feels Like a Roommate? Hereโ€™s How to Fix It

When your partner feels like a roommate, the spark can start to fizzle, leaving the relationship stuck in autopilot. But donโ€™t worryโ€”there are plenty of ways to deal with emotional distance and bring back the excitement.

KEY POINTS

When partners feel like roommates, it’s a sign of a pattern of mutual emotional withdrawal.

Instead of leaning on each other, partners have been going to their separate corners, being hyper-independent.

To break this pattern, partners need to learn to take emotional risks: sharing their feelings and needs.

Withdrawing behavior is

Up Next

Marriage of Convenience or True Love? 8 Signs Youโ€™re Just Settling

Marriage of Convenience or True Love? Signs Youโ€™re Settling

If you think you are in a marriage of convenience, you will know that it doesn’t feel like a fairy tale, rather it’s about maintaining the status quo. Maybe you are staying in this marriage because everything is “okay” and “stable”.

All the bills are getting paid on time, the house is comfortable, and the kids are happy to have both their parents under the same roof. Moreover, you don’t want to deal with the hassle that comes with filing for a divorce, so you just…stay.

Does this sound familiar? The unfortunate truth is that many married couples stay in a loveless marriage because dealing with the alternate option is scary. Theyโ€™re together, but theyโ€™re not really together. They function more like roommates, business partners, or co-parents rather than lovers.

So, if you have ever thought, “A

Up Next

The 3 Most Destructive Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them

Most Destructive Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them

Destructive relationship patterns can sneak into even the best bonds, messing things up before you know it. These types of destructive patterns can drain the joy right out of a relationship. So, letโ€™s break them down, and try to find out how to break out of it.

KEY POINTS

Destructive relationship patterns include pursue/withdraw, withdraw/withdraw, and fight/fight.

If not addressed, these patterns can snowball out of control due to destructive feedback loops.

Break the cycle by sharing your feelings and needs gently and clearly to feel connected and stop fighting.

Up Next

Does He Still Think About Her? 8 Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner

Painfully Clear Signs Your Husband Misses His Affair Partner

Letโ€™s be realโ€”finding out that your husband has been having an affair is earth-shattering, to say the least. But you know what’s even worse than that? Seeing some heartbreaking signs your husband misses his affair partner.

If youโ€™ve noticed some changes in his behavior that leave you second-guessing where his heart really is, youโ€™re not alone.

When you start to spot some red flags that prove your husband hasn’t moved on from this extra marital dating, it can feel like twisting the knife, but being aware of these signs is the first step towards figuring out what to do next.

Let’s see which signs you need to watch out for.

Related:

Up Next

8 Essential Ingredients for a Thriving Relationship

Thriving Relationship: Essential Ingredients Building One

A thriving relationship doesn’t just happenโ€”itโ€™s built on key ingredients that make it strong and lasting.

Whether you’re looking for the ingredients of a healthy relationship or just some good relationship advice, understanding what truly makes a bond work is essential for creating a happy, healthy connection with your partner.

KEY POINTS

Evidence points to the correlation between an enduring, happy relationship and a periodic chuckle.

Neuroscience affirms that attention to gut instinct matters by enabling you to quickly assess a situation.

Relationships can be deep or wide, and each offers

Up Next

How to Regain Trust: 6 Steps to Heal After Betrayal

Happy Memories: Benefits Of Nostalgia

If you are wondering how to restore trust after betrayal, then you should know that it isnโ€™t easy, but itโ€™s totally possible if you’re ready to put in the work. It might take time, but with the right moves, you can rebuild what was broken and come out stronger. This article is going to explore six best ways to regain trust, and turn things around.

KEY POINTS

Those who trust others experience more meaningful relationships, greater self-esteem, and better work performance.

Those who lack trust tend to see others as a threat and the world as hostile.

The path to healing begins with compassion, self-care, journaling, motivational r