10 Things No One Tells You About Cheating

Cheating sucks, and yet, itโ€™s a part of human behavior that is insanely commonplace. Around 50 percent of all couples, married or otherwise, will experience a bout of cheating during their existence. Studies suggest that most of us will, at one point or another, cheat or be cheated onโ€”even if weโ€™re generally good people.

Articles have been written on the subject of cheating every single day, but for some reason, they never quite seem to fully grasp the entire nature of infidelity.

I ought to know; Iโ€™ve been cheated on, and Iโ€™ve been a cheater. Speaking from experience, I can tell you there are certain things no one really seems to want to admit about cheating.

1. The people who cheat arenโ€™t the people youโ€™d expect.

For reasons beyond my understanding, most people assume that cheaters are always slimeball-looking, sleazy people. But, theyโ€™re not. They are often well-respected individuals in the society like doctors, lawyers, and police officers.

If you think someone wonโ€™t cheat on you because they are respectable in the eyes of others, youโ€™re wrong. You canโ€™t tell who will cheat and who will be loyal based on looks alone.

2. Being a cheater really messes with your head.

Speaking as someone whoโ€™s cheated on people in the past, I can tell you that cheating messes with peopleโ€™s minds in a way that most other things canโ€™t. You start finding ways to justify your cheating, just so that you can live with yourself.

You will start to reason away your cheating by arguing with your partner, saying your partner doesnโ€™t pay attention to you, or because you support your partner. โ€œIโ€™m such a good partner,โ€ youโ€™ll say. โ€œI deserve this.โ€

Denial isnโ€™t just a river in Egypt. Little do you know that you still wonโ€™t be able to look at yourself when you finally get caught.

3. Though itโ€™s awful, it feels like a serious thrill.

Cheating is an adrenaline rush, period. Having an affair has that sexy vibe to it because youโ€™re really not supposed to do it. Itโ€™s naughty because itโ€™s illicit, and thereโ€™s that constant fear of being caught. That thrill is what keeps cheaters coming back time after time.

Thatโ€™s not the only reason cheating is a thrill. Thereโ€™s also that rush you get when youโ€™re falling in love with a new person. If youโ€™ve been dealing with the same person for years, cheating feels like a blissful escape that turns you into a schoolboy or schoolgirl again.

4. To a point, cheating is addictive.

Just like with any other major rush, thereโ€™s a certain addictive element to cheating. Once you start fooling around, itโ€™s incredibly hard to stop. You end up finding yourself going from person to person, trying to get a better rush. Unfortunately, the rush lasts less and less every single time you have another side piece.

Iโ€™m pretty sure that the addictive aspects of cheating are what makes the phrase โ€œonce a cheater, always a cheaterโ€ ring true so frequently.

5. Cheating doesnโ€™t happen overnight, nor will you ever really know the complete story.

As someone who cheated on a partner in the past, I can tell you that cheating never โ€œjust happens.โ€ Thereโ€™s deliberation. Thereโ€™s a certain point where the person says to themselves, โ€œYes, I want to stray.โ€

Even if you do find out that your partner cheated on you, youโ€™ll never know the complete story. Your partner will never admit that they made that choice, nor will they ever admit all the things that happened between them and the other person. Even if you do serious detective work, there will always be something you never know.

6. Infidelity very rarely has anything to do with the person being cheated on.

I say โ€œvery rarelyโ€ because there are some cases in which people who are being cheated on stopped being intimate with their partners and just let the relationship die. In these cases, itโ€™s hard not to see where cheating may have something to do with the betrayed partyโ€™s behavior.
That being said, the vast majority of infidelity has very little to do with betrayed peoplesโ€™ behavior, and much more to do with a cheaterโ€™s infidelity. Believe it or not, the majority of cheaters arenโ€™t unhappy in their relationships. Most cheaters cheat because theyโ€™re bored, feel insecure with themselves, and just are being selfish assholes.

7. A lot of cheaters see this as a way to hurt their partners.

Cheaters who feel emotionally neglected by their partners, or hurt by them. So, rather than confront their partners about how they feel, cheaters will often just choose to find others to sleep with. This is their passive-aggressive way of โ€œevening the score.โ€

Believe it or not, many cheaters who hold grudges against the opposite sex cheat for this reason. One of my exes explained it this way: โ€œWomen hurt me in the past, so why should I expect you to be different? I figured itโ€™s best to just get a preemptive strike in.โ€

8. When you discover youโ€™ve been cheated on, itโ€™s normal to regret not straying too.

A lot of people who have been cheated on tend to be people who stuck by their partners in an unhappy relationship. When they find out that theyโ€™ve been cheated on, itโ€™s very common for the betrayed to feel like they were foolish for staying loyal.

Believe it or not, itโ€™s totally normal to feel this way. However, the betrayed party should remember that they can, at the very least, sleep easily at night.

9. Whether youโ€™ve been betrayed, or been the cheater, people will judge you.

Itโ€™s not uncommon to hear of cheaters who lose their good standing with friends and family members after they have been caught cheating. And, it makes sense, since cheating is a pretty terrible thing to do.

What most people wonโ€™t tell you about cheating is that you will also run into people who judge the betrayed. When I was cheated on by my last ex, one person immediately asked me, โ€œOK, what did you do to piss him off?โ€

I didnโ€™t do anything. My ex revealed he cheated on me because he was overweight and had self-esteem issues.

10. Infidelity can cause you to lose friends in more ways than one.

A lot of cheaters watch people distance themselves from them once the truth has been revealed, but thatโ€™s not the only way that adultery tends to ruin friendships. Many people end up losing friends because cheaters manipulate others into thinking the betrayed party was at fault for the infidelityโ€”or even convince others that the infidelity never happened.

Additionally, itโ€™s sadly common to hear of good friends warning betrayed spouses about cheaters, only to have them side with the cheating individual. No matter how you look at it, cheating tears people apart. So, donโ€™t do it.

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Written by Ossiana Tepfenhart

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Eventually you both give in to the attraction that you both felt for each other and itโ€™s sweet, intoxicating, irresistible, intense, and all consuming – a psychosexual thing – a sizzling chemistry that makes you feel powerless and you just get carried away.

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10 Things No One Tells You About Cheating

Written By:

Cheating sucks, and yet, itโ€™s a part of human behavior that is insanely commonplace. Around 50 percent of all couples, married or otherwise, will experience a bout of cheating during their existence. Studies suggest that most of us will, at one point or another, cheat or be cheated onโ€”even if weโ€™re generally good people.

Articles have been written on the subject of cheating every single day, but for some reason, they never quite seem to fully grasp the entire nature of infidelity.

I ought to know; Iโ€™ve been cheated on, and Iโ€™ve been a cheater. Speaking from experience, I can tell you there are certain things no one really seems to want to admit about cheating.

1. The people who cheat arenโ€™t the people youโ€™d expect.

For reasons beyond my understanding, most people assume that cheaters are always slimeball-looking, sleazy people. But, theyโ€™re not. They are often well-respected individuals in the society like doctors, lawyers, and police officers.

If you think someone wonโ€™t cheat on you because they are respectable in the eyes of others, youโ€™re wrong. You canโ€™t tell who will cheat and who will be loyal based on looks alone.

2. Being a cheater really messes with your head.

Speaking as someone whoโ€™s cheated on people in the past, I can tell you that cheating messes with peopleโ€™s minds in a way that most other things canโ€™t. You start finding ways to justify your cheating, just so that you can live with yourself.

You will start to reason away your cheating by arguing with your partner, saying your partner doesnโ€™t pay attention to you, or because you support your partner. โ€œIโ€™m such a good partner,โ€ youโ€™ll say. โ€œI deserve this.โ€

Denial isnโ€™t just a river in Egypt. Little do you know that you still wonโ€™t be able to look at yourself when you finally get caught.

3. Though itโ€™s awful, it feels like a serious thrill.

Cheating is an adrenaline rush, period. Having an affair has that sexy vibe to it because youโ€™re really not supposed to do it. Itโ€™s naughty because itโ€™s illicit, and thereโ€™s that constant fear of being caught. That thrill is what keeps cheaters coming back time after time.

Thatโ€™s not the only reason cheating is a thrill. Thereโ€™s also that rush you get when youโ€™re falling in love with a new person. If youโ€™ve been dealing with the same person for years, cheating feels like a blissful escape that turns you into a schoolboy or schoolgirl again.

4. To a point, cheating is addictive.

Just like with any other major rush, thereโ€™s a certain addictive element to cheating. Once you start fooling around, itโ€™s incredibly hard to stop. You end up finding yourself going from person to person, trying to get a better rush. Unfortunately, the rush lasts less and less every single time you have another side piece.

Iโ€™m pretty sure that the addictive aspects of cheating are what makes the phrase โ€œonce a cheater, always a cheaterโ€ ring true so frequently.

5. Cheating doesnโ€™t happen overnight, nor will you ever really know the complete story.

As someone who cheated on a partner in the past, I can tell you that cheating never โ€œjust happens.โ€ Thereโ€™s deliberation. Thereโ€™s a certain point where the person says to themselves, โ€œYes, I want to stray.โ€

Even if you do find out that your partner cheated on you, youโ€™ll never know the complete story. Your partner will never admit that they made that choice, nor will they ever admit all the things that happened between them and the other person. Even if you do serious detective work, there will always be something you never know.

6. Infidelity very rarely has anything to do with the person being cheated on.

I say โ€œvery rarelyโ€ because there are some cases in which people who are being cheated on stopped being intimate with their partners and just let the relationship die. In these cases, itโ€™s hard not to see where cheating may have something to do with the betrayed partyโ€™s behavior.
That being said, the vast majority of infidelity has very little to do with betrayed peoplesโ€™ behavior, and much more to do with a cheaterโ€™s infidelity. Believe it or not, the majority of cheaters arenโ€™t unhappy in their relationships. Most cheaters cheat because theyโ€™re bored, feel insecure with themselves, and just are being selfish assholes.

7. A lot of cheaters see this as a way to hurt their partners.

Cheaters who feel emotionally neglected by their partners, or hurt by them. So, rather than confront their partners about how they feel, cheaters will often just choose to find others to sleep with. This is their passive-aggressive way of โ€œevening the score.โ€

Believe it or not, many cheaters who hold grudges against the opposite sex cheat for this reason. One of my exes explained it this way: โ€œWomen hurt me in the past, so why should I expect you to be different? I figured itโ€™s best to just get a preemptive strike in.โ€

8. When you discover youโ€™ve been cheated on, itโ€™s normal to regret not straying too.

A lot of people who have been cheated on tend to be people who stuck by their partners in an unhappy relationship. When they find out that theyโ€™ve been cheated on, itโ€™s very common for the betrayed to feel like they were foolish for staying loyal.

Believe it or not, itโ€™s totally normal to feel this way. However, the betrayed party should remember that they can, at the very least, sleep easily at night.

9. Whether youโ€™ve been betrayed, or been the cheater, people will judge you.

Itโ€™s not uncommon to hear of cheaters who lose their good standing with friends and family members after they have been caught cheating. And, it makes sense, since cheating is a pretty terrible thing to do.

What most people wonโ€™t tell you about cheating is that you will also run into people who judge the betrayed. When I was cheated on by my last ex, one person immediately asked me, โ€œOK, what did you do to piss him off?โ€

I didnโ€™t do anything. My ex revealed he cheated on me because he was overweight and had self-esteem issues.

10. Infidelity can cause you to lose friends in more ways than one.

A lot of cheaters watch people distance themselves from them once the truth has been revealed, but thatโ€™s not the only way that adultery tends to ruin friendships. Many people end up losing friends because cheaters manipulate others into thinking the betrayed party was at fault for the infidelityโ€”or even convince others that the infidelity never happened.

Additionally, itโ€™s sadly common to hear of good friends warning betrayed spouses about cheaters, only to have them side with the cheating individual. No matter how you look at it, cheating tears people apart. So, donโ€™t do it.

Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal

We Want To Hear Your Story. Share your work,thoughts and writings and we will make sure, it reaches the world! Submit Now


Written by Ossiana Tepfenhart

You may also like

Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

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Who doesnโ€™t love to be loved? But loving another soul with all your heart comes with a risk; if you donโ€™t do it right, a chunk of your heart is lostโ€ฆ forever. Hereโ€™re some vital love lessons I wish my younger self knew.

Is there a right or wrong way to love? Isnโ€™t love beyond all rightdoing and wrongdoing? Love is supposed to be the language that one heart speaks and the other understands and between them there is nothing off limits, no rules, and certainly no secrets!  

Maybe in a perfect world, love flows as freely as the river, twisting and turning between the rocks and boulders an

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How rarely does it happen that you meet someone and feel an instant connection with them? It feels life straight from a movie or a classic novel – they sweep you off your feet – or thereโ€™s a tension that keeps building on and you two keep clashing over values and beliefs.

Eventually you both give in to the attraction that you both felt for each other and itโ€™s sweet, intoxicating, irresistible, intense, and all consuming – a psychosexual thing – a sizzling chemistry that makes you feel powerless and you just get carried away.

Itโ€™s only when you start sharing about your new-found love to your friends and family that you start noticing

Up Next

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Ever found yourself yelling at the screen because a character just canโ€™t choose between two people? The main character is good but so is the second lead? TV shows with love triangles are one of the most addictive tropes and for good reason. They bring drama, heartbreak, and just the right amount of chaos. 

As a viewer, if you’re constantly in an emotional tug-of-war, picking sides, rooting for your favorite couple, and second-guessing everything when the plot twists hit, we have some of the best shows with love triangles for you.

From swoon-worthy teen romances or emotionally messy adult drama, thereโ€™s something magnetic about watching characters finding themselves in the complicated terrain of love, loyalty, and longing.

Letโ€™s dive into some of the best TV shows with love triangles. S

Up Next

Sculpting Each Other Into A Fine Masterpiece: The Michelangelo Phenomenon In Relationships

Michelangelo Phenomenon: 3 Unique Ways To Empower Your Love

If you have grown bitter hearing about all the gen-z dating trends, hereโ€™s something wholesome – the Michelangelo phenomenon and how love can help us become the best versions of ourselves.

What Is the Michelangelo Phenomenon?

The great Renaissance artist Michelangelo Buonarroti has famously said that he does not create his sculptures, but merely reveals the figures hidden within the marble, so that others can see what he could see from the very beginning!

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Have you ever been snubbed in a social situation or during intimate time with a partner? Stings, right? And when you get cut off for a phone, it just adds insult to injury. You got phubbed! So, what is phubbing behavior?

What Is Phubbing? Meaning and Effects

Phubbing is a mash up of the two words – โ€œphoneโ€ plus โ€œsnubbingโ€.

Imagine youโ€™re on a date at a nice restaurant and instead of paying full attention to you, (which they should be doing all the time, am I right?) your date or partner keeps checking their phone – high on alert every time thereโ€™s a ping or notification.

Theyโ€™re either replying with โ€œhmmโ€ or โ€œokay<

Up Next

Living Like Roommates? 7 Subtle Signs Your Relationship’s On Autopilot

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“Roommate Syndrome” isnโ€™t just a fun buzzword, it’s anything but. Actually, it’s a massive relationship red flag, and one you should definitely steer clear of. Have you ever felt like you are living like roommates with your partner, rather than truly connecting with them?

If you answered yes, the unfortunately you are in a roommate relationship/roommate marriage. This sneaky little monster creeps in quietly.

One minute you’re finishing each other’s sentences, and the next, you’re discussing who left dishes in the sink for the third time this week.

The funny thing is that it’s not that you don’t care anymore, it’s just that the spark slowly faded and both of you didn’t even notice when. But hey, the good news? If youโ€™re reading this, thereโ€™s still time to bring the that vibe back.

Up Next

The 3 Words That Can Instantly Improve Your Relationship

How To Improve Your Relationship? Always Say These 3 Words

If you want to improve your relationship without grand gestures or complicated advice, then three words is all it takes.

This simple phrase can work wonders for emotional intimacy in relationships, helping your partner feel truly seen and heard. If youโ€™ve been wondering how to improve intimate relationships, this might just be your secret weapon.

KEY POINTS

Many relationships suffer not from a lack of love but from a lack of feeling understood.

Too often, we listen to respond rather than to truly hear our partner.

Not every problem needs a solution.