“Cheating isn’t always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you gotta delete text messages so your partner won’t see them, you’re already there.”
This one line probably sums up the essence of emotional cheating perfectly. Being emotionally cheated on is without a doubt one of the most horrible and painful things one can experience. What makes it even worse is the fact that you don’t even know for sure whether it’s happening or not, since it’s not as out there as sexual infidelity.
You won’t find any inappropriate texts or someone else’s underwear amongst your partner’s clothes; all you have are a few subtle hints that might point to the fact that your partner is emotionally cheating on you. But sometimes, these subtle signs are enough for you to know for sure whether you are being cheated on or not. Look out for these signs in your partner, that might help bring the truth to light.
8 Signs You’re A Victim Of Emotional Cheating
1. They feel like a stranger to you.
They don’t seem like themselves, and even when you are together, it seems like you are sitting beside a stranger. The conversations that were once effortless seem contrived. Their mannerisms seem different and every time you look at them, you feel as if you don’t know them at all.
And not just this, they also seem very emotionally distant from you and if you try to talk to them about this, they seem to clam up even more. If your partner is emotionally cheating on you, you will feel unwelcome and unwanted whenever you would want to spend time with them. The tenderness, adoration, and love they used to shower on you will feel like things of the past, and it will feel like you never knew them at all.
Related: 6 Warning Signs Of An Emotional Affair
2. They stop treating you as a priority,
Gone are the days when you mattered the most to them and making you happy made them happy. One-night stands and purely physical affairs don’t need a lot of energy and time to maintain, but emotional cheating does. Emotional cheating is a much more complicated form of infidelity and one that is more intimate. Unlike before, if you feel like your partner could care less about your feelings, then chances are they have someone else in their lives to focus on emotionally.
If your partner treats you like an afterthought and makes you feel like you don’t matter, then maybe they are not being fully honest. For instance, if you are out for dinner together and your partner is mostly focused on his phone and not you, then that’s a red flag. Whenever you want to spend time with them, they make all sorts of excuses about how they’re busy, but somehow always find the time to be with their ‘friends’.
3. They are overly protective of their phone.
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.” ― Shannon L. Alder
If you notice your partner being excessively secretive and clingy about their phones, then it’s a huge sign that they are hiding something from you. Even though boundaries are important in a relationship, but if someone is going to great lengths to hide their phone from their partner, then it’s more or less confirmed that they’re not exactly being faithful.
On top of that, if you always see them leaving the room while taking calls, or being addicted to texting and social media all of a sudden, take these as major signs of emotional cheating. Taking their phone wherever they go, being uncomfortable with you using their phone (even if it’s for a harmless reason), and always being very secretive about calls and texts are obvious red flags of cheating.
4. They are emotionally closed off from you.
It’s like they have put up walls around themselves to keep you out, whereas before, you were probably the only person to whom they used to pour their heart out. They never hesitated to open up in front of you, rather they felt safe being vulnerable. But now that has changed and how! They have stopped sharing their feelings with you, and no matter how much you try to understand what’s going on, they push you away.
Maybe they are not opening up to you like before, because they have someone else to talk to now. Maybe they are putting distance between you two because they feel guilty about their emotional infidelity. If your partner seems distant from you whereas they never were before, then it might point towards emotional cheating.
Related: 5 Things To Remember If You Think Your Partner Is Having An Affair
5. They have a ‘friend’ who they are exceptionally close to.
This is not a childhood friend or an old friend I am talking about, this is someone who they have met recently and have struck a ‘friendship with’. Your partner prioritizes them more than you, talks to them more than you, and seemingly spends way more time with them than they do with you. They seem to do everything together, and if you voice any sort of displeasure about this, your partner gets extremely angry.
If you try to tell them that you don’t feel comfortable with how close your partner and their ‘special friend’ are, you’re accused as over-possessive, problematic, and clingy. When your partner cares about their feelings more than yours, then it’s a clear sign that they might be cheating on you.
6. They pick fights with you for no reason at all.
If your partner is always looking for reasons to argue with you and starts fights for seemingly no reason, then it might be an indicator of emotional cheating. Since they are interested in someone else now, being with you or being around you makes them unhappy and adds to their frustration and this manifests as anger. They might also be picking fights with you in order to deal with their guilt of being emotionally unfaithful to you.
Since both of you are always fighting and arguing with each other, it makes it easier for them to fall into the arms of their paramour. Because in their heads, they are in an unhappy relationship, and being with the other person makes them feel better about it all. Of course, the fact that they are the problem here and not you don’t register in their minds.
Want to know more about the signs of emotional cheating? Check this video out below!
7. They feel uncomfortable with any form of physical intimacy with you.
This is one of the major signs of emotional cheating. When your partner always makes excuses to avoid being intimate with you, then there’s something very, very wrong. Neither do they initiate anything in the bedroom, nor do they respond when you do, and they always seem distant and disconnected.
And it’s not just sex, they feel uncomfortable engaging in any sort of physical intimacy with you. Be it cuddling, hugging, holding hands, or even a simple peck on the cheek, the discomfort and unwillingness is always very evident on their faces.
8. They seem more comfortable and happier with that ‘close friend’ of theirs.
Either they are spending all their time with this ‘close friend’ of theirs, or they are always talking about how great they are. Instead of you, your partner’s life starts to revolve around this other person, and they could care less how it’s affecting you and breaking your heart. Whenever they are with you, they seem distant, disconnected, and unhappy, but when they are with their ‘close friend’, they seem happier, more comfortable, and more relaxed.
They love spending time with them, and eagerly wait for the time they will get to meet them, all the while, you are silently dealing with a broken heart and bruised self-esteem. No matter how hard you try, your partner never seems to respond to you the way they respond to this other person.
Related: 5 Seemingly Innocent Signs Of An Emotional Affair
Being on the other side of emotional cheating is honestly one of the most heartbreaking places to be. Emotional cheating can sometimes be more painful to deal with than sexual infidelity. In a situation like this, the most you can do is communicate with your partner how their actions are breaking your heart and making you feel humiliated and alone. If they still choose to stick to their ways, then you should rethink the whole relationship, and let them go.
You deserve better than being in a relationship where despite all your efforts and love, your partner does not have the decency to even come clean to you. You deserve honesty, respect, integrity, and love, not infidelity, heartbreak, and second-rate treatment.
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