10 Unexpected Signs Of Cheating: How To Tell If Your Spouse Is Having An Affair

If you are googling “surprising and unexpected signs of cheating” at 2 in the morning, then you’ve come to the right place. Well, we all have been there. Suspicion and doubt can sneak up like an uninvited guest when it comes to your spouse; something tells you that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it.

When it comes to infidelity, it’s not always about the lipstick on the collar or mysterious phone calls at night. There can be many subtle signs of cheating that you might overlook and miss out on.

So go grab some coffee (or something stronger) and explore all the hidden signs you spouse is having an affair.

Related: 13 Signs Your Spouse Might Be Cheating On You

10 Unexpected Signs Of Cheating: Subtle Signs Of Cheating To Watch Out For

1. They overcompensate when it comes to affection.

You would think that since they’re cheating on you, they won’t be affectionate towards you, right? Well, in some cases, your cheating spouse might end up showing you more-than-normal affection because they’re trying to make themselves feel less guilty about betraying your trust.

One of the most subtle signs of cheating, this one can be quite hard to understand, however, keep your eyes peeled. If their affection seems genuine and organic, then you’ve nothing to fear about. But if that little voice in your head is feeling uncomfortable, then watch out.

2. You can’t reach them as easily as before.

Couples who have been together for a long time learn each other’s schedules very well indeed. If you notice discrepancies often between what they are saying they’re doing and what they’re actually doing, then maybe it’s time for you to confront them about their whereabouts.

And if you can’t reach them that easily, then it’s because they don’t want to hear from you, and they don’t want to be found. If it feels like they are deliberately blocking you, then it’s time to have that uncomfortable conversation.

3. Their friends behave weirdly around you.

How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Turn to their friends. If you strongly suspect that your spouse is having an affair, then look at how their friends behave in front of you.

Close friends normally know everything that’s going on in your life, and the same goes for your spouse’s friends too. If they’re in the loop, then they will be evidently uncomfortable around you, and might not even be able to meet your eyes.

This is actually one of the most subtle and unexpected signs of cheating.

4. You notice that their grooming habits have intensified.

This is one of the subtle signs of cheating to watch out for. If your spouse has suddenly started to pay more attention to their physical appearance, it’s a strong sign they might be having an affair.

While grooming yourself and taking care of your appearance is a good habit to have, a sudden onset of changes might mean they’re trying to impress someone new. Are they suddenly going to the gym more than usual? Are they buying new clothes, changing their hairstyle etc?

Related: 8 Signs Your Partner Is Having An Emotional Affair

5. They have become really moody all of a sudden.

If they seem more moody than usual, and seem to have really unpredictable mood swings, then they are actually doing a very bad job at hiding the truth. According to many experts, unexplained mood swings is one of the major signs your spouse is having an affair.

When someone is really bad at keeping secrets, especially a major secret like this, they will try to dump the blame and guilt on you, and tell you all the things you are doing wrong.

This is simply a form of manipulation to make you look like the bad guy, so that when you do get to know about their cheating, they will be able to say that they cheated because you pushed them to that point.

6. Your emotional attachment seems to be fading.

It really hurts when your partner is unresponsive, ignores you or acts cold towards you. It feels terrible, like you’re talking to a brick wall.

Imagine pouring your heart out and getting zero response. As you discuss your day, worries or hopes, you might notice they’re glued to their phone, looking disinterested and distracted, further widening the gap between you. Wanting their undivided attention starts to feel like asking for too much.

We all have bad days where things just don’t click. However, if this emotional distance drags on and you start to feel more like roommates than lovers, it’s probably because they are up to something behind your back, and it’s time for you to have a serious conversation.

7. They don’t say ‘I love you’ anymore.

These three words mean a lot in any relationship. When you realize that your partner has stopped saying “I love you” it might be one of the unexpected signs of cheating.

Words are not enough sometimes since love can manifest itself differently; however a lack of verbal assurance might hint at something deeper lurking beneath the surface. Remember that everyone demonstrates affection differently and this may just be a phase.

However, if this quiet spell comes with other warning bells from this list, it’s likely time you guys had an open chat about what’s up.

Related: 8 Subtle Signs Your Partner Wants A Divorce From You

8. You notice quite a few unexplained expenses.

Coming across unexplained expenses in their bank statements can be one of the subtle signs of cheating, to be honest. This can include payments for dinners, gifts, or hotel rooms that you weren’t aware of.

Interestingly enough, this is one of those common signs through which many people get to know about their spouse’s affair. Because unlike emotional shifts, which are hard to pin down, unexplained expenses leaves a clear trail for you to track.

9. They ask strange questions like ”what would you do if I cheated on you?”

How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? If your partner wants to talk about this, then this is one of the major signs your spouse is having an affair.

Why? Because it shows that it’s something they’re genuinely thinking about, or because they are feeling immensely guilty for cheating on you. Definitely one of the unexpected signs of cheating, look out for this whenever things seem bad in your marriage.

They also might be trying to gauge your reaction to find out if you know about what they are doing behind your back.

10. Your gut feeling is trying to tell you something.

How to tell if your spouse if cheating on you? Listen to your gut. If you feel like your gut feeling is trying to tell you that something seems off in your marriage, then do yourself a favor and listen to it.

Trust me, if your intuition is telling you that something is wrong, it’s worth paying attention to it. This doesn’t mean your partner is definitely cheating, but it’s a sign that something in your relationship is not working out, and needs to be addressed.

Trust your instincts, but also try to gather concrete evidence before confronting your spouse.

It’s not easy to think about and accept the fact that your spouse might be cheating on you, but it’s important to remain level-headed and approach the situation with maturity.

So, keep your eyes peeled for these unexpected signs of cheating, and maintain a strong heart because after all, you deserve honesty, and respect from your other half.

Related: Is Your Relationship Built on Lies? 8 Subtle Signs of Deception In A Relationship

Which of these signs your spouse is having an affair is the most telling do you think? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!