When your soulmate becomes another ex, there are some lessons you can take from that, instead of thinking that you are never going to find love again.
When I was young, my mother once told me that love is an inevitable force. I grew up believing her – even when I didn’t want to. As I fell in and out of love and lost myself in the process of loving someone else, I realized how “inevitable” love can be.
No one falls in love with a thought of coming out of it.
We all want to eternally be in love. Sadly, our lives don’t always work the way we desire it.
Too often, it takes away the love of our life in the most unceremonious way. Almost all of us have seen how effortlessly our “twin flame” can become the “one that got away”. With time, our seasoned self understands and accepts the fact that finding a soulmate doesn’t give us the license to acquire eternal happiness.
When we think we have found “the one”, our entire life comes to a standstill. It is only afterwards when they become just another ex, an utter chaos takes over.
No matter how heartbreaking it might sound, even a devastating heartbreak can end up giving you some precious life lessons.
This is what you might learn when your soulmate becomes somebody you used to know.
1. You understand that nothing really lasts forever.
No matter how much we try, there are a few things in this world that are just not meant to be.
Every beginning and every end has its purpose to serve. If something is supposed to be, the entire universe conspires for it to happen. Similarly, if it’s not working, don’t force yourself to keep dragging through the hell.
Attend to the signals in your surroundings and the ones your body is giving.
When you lose the most treasured person in your life and come to the acceptance of their absence, you finally realise that forever is a malicious lie.
Want to know more about when your soulmate becomes another ex? Read 7 Important Things You Must Know About Healing After A Divorce Or Breakup
2. It stops being about them.
Once the pain comes from losing the person you least expected to lose, you learn that nothing really matters other than yourself.
That’s when you start focusing on yourself instead of on any other person. A relationship often makes us direct all our attentions on to one person – our partners. We often lose ourselves in the complexities of the relationship and neglect ourselves to the point of self-deprivation.
After our grieving phase is over, we often restore ourselves back to our original self. The extra time we have to ourselves is now used judicially and all to our own benefit – we engage in introspection, we groom ourselves, we invest in learning new activities and discovering ourselves to the fullest.
3. You lose a part of your heart, but you add a bigger part to your soul.
Without pain there is no birth of the consciousness.
Initially you might feel all resented and vengeful towards the person who left you so vulnerable.
Once you get over the fresh wounds and acceptance sets in, you will find yourself thanking this person for hurting you so badly. The path of strength and power you are approaching is because you could rediscover yourself while moving through hell.
What actually initially felt like a huge void and loss, will descend upon you as a blessing which pushed you into getting a step closer to yourself.
Looking to know more about how you can feel better after your soulmate becomes your ex? Read Reclaim Your Power After A Terrible Breakup: 10 Breakup Survival Tips
4. It teaches you that almost every relationship is temporary and comes with an expiry date.
One loss at a time teaches you the harshest truth about life – you belong to none, none belongs to you.
It also teaches us that nothing lasts forever and all relationships are temporary and about to end at a point. This lesson is crucial for all of us to reach a position when acceptance comes naturally to us and we can keep our definitions of expectations from other people reasonable.
5. You stop settling for anything ordinary.
Long periods of ill treatment, neglect, abuse and toxicity in a relationship drains us of all our positive outlook to life. Such a toxic relationship almost always leaves us pitying ourselves, making us evaluate ourselves in negative light, teaching us to only settle for the least.
Once we realise that the heartbreak has made feel worthless all the while, we bounce back and stop settling for anything that doesn’t meet our raised standard – be it a career option, a new relationship or our anticipated treatment from others; we understand we deserve nothing less than the best.
6. You realize that there is no such thing as “The One”.
After making a fool out of ourselves by considering our partner as ‘the one’ we learn that the concept of ‘the one’ is vague and obsolete as is the love your ex said they felt for you!
7. You start enjoying everything that the world has to offer.
Everything might not go according to your whims but after the heartbreak, you become more accepting of the uncertainty.
You are more resilient now and equipped with survival techniques to face anything that comes your way. You actively start looking for positivity and searching for happiness in every mundane things in life.
Having trouble coping because your soulmate becomes another ex? Read 8 Ways To Turn Your Breakup Into a Breakthrough