Relationship escape clauses are the absolute worst, aren’t they?
Relationship escape clauses are a way to break-up and also not give the true reason for doing so, so in a way, deceiving your partner.
It is very normal for relationships, even those that started with great joy and optimism, to wither and die. No one can promise to love another forever, for we cannot foresee the future. But it is necessary to understand what a relationship’s dynamics are when one partner wants out of the union and the other does not.
Even though sometimes, break-ups can happen due to genuine reasons, in many cases, people tend to use some typical relationship escape clauses in order to get out of a relationship.
The Blame Game
Few issues are one-sided enough to cause a relationship to end. Things like domestic abuse, addiction, and cheating on your partner come to mind as single-handed deal breakers. Most relationships, however, collapse because of the changing dynamics between the two partners. It is important to remember that, if your partner decided to end the relationship, it is not about you. It is about them and the decisions they made based on how they decipher the experiences and changes in their lives.
Figure it this way, some things that cause one couple to grow apart can make another grow closer together. What makes a love union work or not depends solely on the two individuals involved.
The Reason People Use Escape Clauses
Even if you are the one wanting to end a relationship, it is gut-wrenching to tell your partner. In our human desire to explain what we do, we are baffled when we don’t have a simple answer. It is also natural to want to avoid conflict. This is why we obfuscate our desire to end the relationship with phrases that often confuse, blame or shirk our responsibility in the matter. This can often leave the discarded partner confused, or even worse, convinced there is reason to hang on.
Clear And Truthful Communication Is Compassionate
We can learn a lot from hindsight to inform our future choices, this why it is important to look at relationships. Many couples stay in flawed relationships long after what should have been an expiration date. To stay in the union, they relied on the illusion their partner would change into another person more to their liking. They also never expressed their truth to one another out of fear of bringing the relationship to an end. Knowing what they know now, they wish they had not wasted so many years in sour and unfulfilling relationships.
We owe it to one another to be clear in our communications. Sharing our issues honestly to our significant other, especially during a breakup, is compassionate because it informs them of the truth and allows them to make the decisions that work best for them.
The Hidden Meaning In Three Commonly Used Clauses
People use escape clauses to get out of relationships. These commonly used phrases are not truthful about the real intention of the user. We may say them hoping we don’t hurt the recipient, but they make things worse.
The following is the meaning I have deciphered when someone uses these phrases to end a romantic connection. If you are hearing any of these from your partner, then you may want to pay attention to this interpretation before accepting words that will keep you attached to a sinking relationship.
1. It’s Not You, It’s Me.
This is true, it is about them; they are the ones deciding to end the union. But, by using these words, the user is deliberately shirking their responsibility to explain why. When this is all you get, you will spend time torturing yourself thinking about what you could be doing to fix the problem if you knew what it was. But you will not get an answer, for he/she doesn’t want you to fix it. I know this is hard to accept, but when you hear this from your partner, move on without them. They have already left and don’t want to do anything to change their minds.