‘Did you hear that Bill actually…’
‘That’s what she tells everyone but do you know that…’
‘You should really listen to what happened at Taylor’s party last Friday…’
We are prone to hearing gossips from various spheres of our lives. It is quite unfortunate but it is also the hard truth that we all have been part of gossips and we did enjoy it.
According to a research, as explained in Psychology Today, conducted by a team from the University of Amsterdam, 90 percent of office conversations are actually gossips. Researchers at Georgia Institute of Technology came to the conclusion that 15 percent of emails exchanged by office colleagues among themselves are gossips.
Gossips are not limited to our workplace. We as human beings have the habit of gossiping everywhere. While doing this, we often forget the people we are hurting until and unless we do not become the victims.
Now the question is, why do we gossip?
According to psychologists, human beings gossip in order to bond with others. When a dislike is shared in a group, it helps in creating the bond stronger than the sharing of a similar interest.
The second reason is, gossip helps people indulge in a shared sense of humor or thrill to know about something which is confidential to another person or know certain details of someone the group doesn’t like.
This leads to the third reason of gossiping which is quite sadistic in nature. People tend to gossip because they find pleasure in someone else’s failure while in reality, they are insecure of themselves; so they need someone they can compare themselves with.
According to relationship expert, Andrea Syrtash, gossip causes harm on the one who is gossiping and the other person who is at the receiving end. When a person, say A is gossiping to B, about X and B is entertaining it too, chances are there, that A with the tendency to gossip, will gossip about B to some other person. This is the nature of people who gossip. So, while it might be fun for us to listen to the gossip, we might never know that we are the subjects somewhere else.
So, how can we stop it?
Psychologists say that there’s just one single phrase to stop gossip. That’s saying, ‘Why are you telling me this?’
The moment you ask the intention of the gossiper, the gossiper will stop in order conceal their evil intentions, which they wish to carry out and take advantage of a situation or a person.
Also, it clearly implies that you are not at all interested in listening to the gossip.
Gossip is extremely harmful especially in this age with the rapid progress in science and technology. Cyberbullying has become a common crime where users, as young as school-goers have become victims.
Gossips have led to bullying, teasing and a lot of abuse behaviors among people of various ages. People who engage in such vices and the ones who are at the receiving end suffer from severe psychological disorders which can even go to extremes such as suicide.
Gossip needs to be stopped in order to have a happy and healthy society. Just one phrase can do it.