13 Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love


, ,
Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love

It’s not simple for an old soul to connect with everyone. So, here are 13 reasons why old souls struggle to find love and true relationships.

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. — Haruki Murakami, (Norwegian Wood)

One of the greatest problems that Old Souls ever face in this life, is finding love.

What sets Old Souls apart from others is their deeper level of maturity or wisdom, and with this wisdom comes the need to live and love authentically.

But as you’ve probably already discovered, the problem with most relationships is that they’re established to avoid loneliness, create comfort or security, or gain some sense of self-worth.

In other words, many relationships are based on playing ego-centered “games,” just like the ones we see on TV and in films. People thrive on the drama. People believe that they “need” another person to fill an empty hole inside of them.

But something within you thirsts for a deeper level of love beyond the melodrama and lust. The truth is, you yearn deep down for that which you’ve never (or rarely) experienced before: a relationship that is intense but healthy, devoted but free, supportive but not smothering.

You crave for honesty, authenticity, passion, empathy, true love, sincerity, and depth. You want to be seen, heard, understood, valued, and loved for who you are. And you want to express the same towards someone else.

My first relationship happened in my early twenties, with Luna. Up until that point in my life, I didn’t feel that any person matched my intensity of love, even after traveling through countless countries and meeting hundreds of people.

 Old souls struggle to find love because they love differently
Old Souls have a hard time connecting and finding love, because they love differently

Over the years workings with many Old Souls I’ve come to realize that many others experience this exact same problem: the inability to find, or form, a truly fulfilling relationship. Why old souls struggle to find love?

Here Are 13 Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love

1. We Want Love That Is Authentic

We want to be in a relationship that encourages and celebrates mutual authenticity. We don’t want to hide, pretend, suppress or change who we are in any way.

We don’t want to find someone that doesn’t mind “putting up” with us, but rather, encourages us to “put forth” our truest and most authentic selves to be completely embraced.

Related: 5 Signs Of An Old Soul Personality: Are You An Old Soul?

2. We Want Love That Teaches Us

Instead of criticizing or rejecting us, we crave for someone who will point out where we’re going wrong, or ways that we need grow. Deep down, we realize that we will always have more to learn (Socrates once said “True wisdom is knowing that you know nothing”).

It can be argued that all love affairs teach us, but they usually teach us unconsciously as a byproduct of suffering. Conscious teaching, on the other hand, is rare, precious and hard to find.

3. We’re Healers But We Don’t Want To“Fix” Anyone

Due to our nature, we tend to attract people who are looking for help. But while our natural response is to offer help, we realize that entering a relationship in order to “fix” the other person is unwise.

We don’t want to be the 24/7 doctors or counselors of our partners; we want to find someone who is in a similar place to us.

Related: 10 Signs Your Child is an Old Soul

4. We Have Complex Personalities

We think a lot, see deeply into the nature of reality and have intense personalities. It’s hard to find a person who can understand or match our complex identities.

Having depth and seeking truth in a society that values materialistic status, objects, and superficial appearance can intimidate most people from getting to know us.

5. We Want Love That Is Beyond “Liking”

We want fierce, uncompromising, genuine, deep love. In today’s world, most people throw around the word “love” as if it were synonymous with “like,” such as, “I love this ice cream/this pair of shoes.”

Old souls and love relationships should be meaningful and deep
Old souls and love relationships should be meaningful and deep

“Like” has no commitment. One day you like one flavor, the next day you like another.

Love is different. While liking is superficial, love is penetrating. While “liking” something is admiring its exterior form (and letting everyone know what that says about you), love is seeing past the exterior form and adoring the Soul.

6. We Want Love That Is Vulnerable

Being compatible at a personality level is simply not enough. True love is not liking someone or sharing their same interests, but instead is willingly opening up one’s heart and Soul — even if it hurts.

It is through the willingness to be vulnerable that wounds open, are given air, and heal. It is through vulnerability that we experience courage and the ability to love unconditionally.

7. We Want Commitment And Effort

Love constantly needs to be nurtured, like the embers of a burning fire. Words are empty when they aren’t followed by action.

As Old Souls, we know that real love can only be shown through shared experiences, effort, and dedication.

Related: 14 Signs You’re In A Relationship With An Old Soul

8. We Want Love Rooted In Wholeness

The moment your happiness depends on another person, you lose your freedom to love out of choice. We want a partner who is happy and whole by themselves so that we can share that wholeness with them.

When people enter a relationship out of a sense of “neediness” because they feel incomplete or fear being lonely, the relationship is doomed.

This is why old souls struggle to find love. As Old Souls, we realize that healthy relationships are rooted in inner happiness.

9. We Won’t Settle For Anything Less Than Soulmate Love

Old Souls find it difficult to settle for comfort, lust, superficial attraction, security, or “keeping each other company.”

We need someone who will share our values and be a true spiritual companion. We thirst for soulmate and twin flame love.

10. We Don’t Enjoy The “Dating Game”

The drama, the addiction, the stimulation, the rules of what “should and shouldn’t” happen … it’s this egocentric approach towards love that Old Souls find so unappealing. This adds to the ever-increasing difficulty of finding love.

11. We Come With Wounds

Many Old Souls become the way they are through difficult and traumatic life circumstances which force the growth of inner maturity.

When it comes to love, it’s vital that we find someone who is mature enough to deal with the “baggage” we often carry. But this can be hard to find in others.

Related: 7 Perks And Pleasures Of Being An Old Soul

12. We Want More Than Just sex

Lust, seduction, and sex are alluring but ultimately momentary and shallow if obsessed over. While we love sex, we want more than just one night stands. We want to share our bodies with those that fall in love with our Souls first, rather than just our physical forms.

13. We’re Free Spirits

The reason why falling in love is so beautiful is because it expands us: it unites us with our innate freedom. The moment control is asserted over such a transcendent experience, we put love in a cage.

And every time we look at that cage, we feel guilty in remembering how free that bird once was.

Related: 7 Earthly Pleasures of an Old Soul

Deep down, Old Souls know how vital it is to encourage freedom in relationships. But it’s hard to find a person who is willing to fly free as well. Freedom requires courage and the ability to love another despite what they say, want or do.

Part of being an old soul means being wise beyond the years and having specific old soul love requirements
Part of being an old soul means being wise beyond the years and having specific old soul love requirements

The first present I gave Luna was a ring, with the inscription: “Alis volat propriis” (She flies with her own wings).

These are just a few of the reasons why Old Souls have a hard time finding love.

What is your experience as an Old Soul trying to find love? I’d love to hear your stories below.

Don’t forget to tell us your old soul love requirements as well. Share this article if you relate!

Originally appeared on Lonerwolf
Old Souls Struggle To Find Love
Why Old Souls Have A Hard Time Finding Love
Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love Pin
Why Old Souls Have A Hard Time Finding Love
Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love pin

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Stephen Avatar

    An old soul would never hurt you as you have described. These are actions of of someone who is immature.
    They also happen to be selfish.
    So, immature + selfish = someone who still has work to do on themselves.

    Old souls are transparent enough to never make someone question where they stand.

Leave a Reply

Up Next

6 Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Key Psychological Truths About Dating Apps

Online dating, dating apps, dating sites – all of these things have taken the world by storm and has made dating easier than before. Or has it? This article is going to delve deep into not just the world of online dating and dating sites, but will also talk about the psychological truths about dating apps.

As recently as 15 years ago, internet dating was popularly seen as — to put it delicately — something for losers. Sites like Match, JDate, and eHarmony were in their infancy; the whole idea of finding a partner on the Internet hadn’t really transcended its origins in the personals section of the newspaper.

But with the rise of the smartphone and GPS technology, online dating has lost this stigma and ballooned into a multi-billion-dollar industry. Nowadays, you can treat your cell phone like an all-day singles bar, swiping on Tinder

Up Next

Vulturing: Beware Of This Latest Toxic Dating Trend!

What Is Vulturing Dating: Toxic Signs To Be Wary Of

In the world of dating, there are more online trends than you can swipe in a day. The new one on the block is called vulturing dating. Let’s find out what it means in a relationship.

So, What Is Vulturing Dating?

Among the colloquialisms of modern dating, this one is called “vulturing.” In a similar vein to the predatory bird it’s named after, vulturing entails someone hovering around people who are on the brink of ending their relationship.

They wait until they can swoop in with malicious intent on damaged hearts — sometimes as soon as possible after their former partner cuts them loose and they’re emotiona

Up Next

Are Screenshots Ruining Your Dating Experience? Exploring 5 Pros and Cons

Are Screenshots Ruining Dating? Clear Pros And Cons

Screenshots can make things easier, but also much more difficult. So… are screenshots ruining dating? Let’s find out the pros and cons of it!

In the time we live in, technology has changed nearly every aspect of socializing and dating. One common feature that’s become increasingly prevalent is the screenshot.

Today we’ll be going over five ways screenshots are both beneficial and detrimental to today’s dating experience.

Are Screenshots Ruining Dating?

Let’s learn how screenshots ruin relationships in the modern world.

Up Next

Dating A Feminist 101: 8 Tips On How To Date A Feminist And Cultivate A Relationship Grounded In Respect

Tips for Dating a Feminist and Embracing Gender Equality

Are you curious about what dating a feminist feels like? Perhaps you’ve met someone who proudly identifies as a feminist, and you want to understand their perspective better. 

Today, we will delve into the world of dating a feminist, exploring what is feminism, what a feminist relationship entails, and providing practical tips on how to date a feminist to foster a healthy and fulfilling connection. 

So, grab a cup of coffee and let’s embark on a journey of understanding, respect, and equality.

What is Feminism?

Before we dive into the intricacies of dating a feminist, let’s take a mo

Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?

Up Next

6 Signs Of Soft Ghosting: Decoding The Art Of Disappearing

Signs Of Soft Ghosting: Decoding The Art Of Disappearing

Imagine a scenario where you’re texting someone you like, and everything seems great. Then, out of nowhere, they stop replying, and you’re stuck not knowing what’s really going on. This is just one of the signs of soft ghosting.

Soft ghosting is usually a bit different from the usual ghosting because it’s more gradual. Imagine being left hanging without any explanation; it feels like a half-hearted response. You aren’t completely ignored, but you’re clearly not at the top of their list.

So, what is soft ghosting, really? And how to deal with soft ghosting? Let’s first try to understand what is soft ghosting.<

Up Next

How To Move On From A Situationship? 3 Things That Can Help You

How To Move On From A Situationship? Things That Can Help

If you have ever been in a situationship, you know that it still hurts when it ends. So, how to move on from a situationship? In this article, we are going to talk about some of the best things to do if you’re trying to move on from a situationship.

A “situationship” is a romantic and/or sexual relationship that isn’t formally defined. You may know it by its other pop culture references like “friends with benefits,” “fun buddies,” or “booty call.”

People in situationships generally aren’t exclusively committed to each other and typically aren’t expected to fork over a ton of emotional investment.