Narcissists have a hard time figuring out that other people matter as much as they do. Their entire world revolves around them and they genuinely believe that they are the center of the world for others as well. They do not have any empathy for others. They can’t think of the needs of others, much less fulfill them.
They are the takers, who only believe in using others to get what they want. A relationship with them is immensely draining, because they only demand, never returning the favor. They are also adept at manipulating others and do it with fervor. They know which buttons to push to get what they want. And the worst part is, they do not hesitate to do it even if they know that it will cause harm to the other person.
Their one motive in life is to fulfill their own desires and anyone who gets sacrificed for their desires is just collateral.
And to do so they choose their victims very carefully. It is not just any random person that they zero in on to fulfill their desires. They know what kind of person would be easier to manipulate and to what extent. They know this all very well because they have done it all through their life.
Here is the one stop checklist that they refer to while looking for the next person they can benefit from.
Checklist Point 1
Someone who is emotionally vulnerable
First and foremost they look for someone who is emotionally vulnerable. They know it is easier to feed off someone who feels they are lacking in some way or the other. It is easier to manipulate a person who is willingly investing themselves emotionally into you. They would act like they can fill the gap of whatever this person is feeling. They will make the person emotionally dependent on them so that they know he/she is not going anywhere. And after giving this false sense of security, they’d be safe to do whatever they please.
Checklist Point 2
Someone Who Is Looking For Superficial Expressions of Love
They look for people who are into superficial expressions of love. Those who are looking for their prince charming because their idea of what love means relies heavily on what popular media presents to us. Real love is scarcely, if ever, as glittery and shiny as seen in the movies and books. But those who can’t look beyond these things become easy targets for the Narcissist to exploit. Because for them, it is easier to replicate these false notions. They can easily pretend to be whatever is on the screen, because they are simply pretending. They do not care what love really means. And so they’ll make the most grand gestures to sweep their prey off their feet, just to ensure they are completely in their trap.
Checklist Point 3
Someone from whom they can derive some gains
They only focus on people from whom they can derive some gains. Make no mistake about it; they will never make any acquaintance which does not benefit them in one way or the other. They actively look for individuals from whom they can benefit, and then target them. Anyone who can be of use to them in one way or the other will be a potential target. And they don’t make any qualms about it. In fact they are pretty proud of themselves for having the insight to know which people would be more useful than the rest.