How A Narcissist Grooms You For Love: 4 Tricks To Watch Out For

Narcissist Grooms You For Love

And this is so relevant. If they find out what has hurt you, so for example, you’ve been cheated on before, or you were with a partner who was never present, or you were with a partner who was jealous and insecure, they will tell you they are not that person.

That they’ve never been that person, that they would never consider behaving like that. And they may even tell you that they’ve experienced the same with their partners and what a relief to find somebody who’s been through what they’ve been through.

Or if they realize that you’re a really empathetic, caring, fixing type of person, that they may tell you all the things that have happened to them to incite and call forth that caring giving nature that you have that likes to rescue people. They’re very good at this.

Related: 5 Red Flags and Blind Spots In Dating A Narcissist

Narcissist Inoculation

How do you make sure that this doesn’t happen to you?

How do you that is you become ‘narcissist inoculation’? You don’t fall into it the way you have in the past, and the way that I fell into it in the past.

With the narcissists in my life, absolutely they worked out that I was interested in somebody with spiritual and interpersonal development, and they pretended to be those things as well as many other things.

I really want you to understand in the dating game, beware of somebody who is too good to be true. Beware of somebody who’s fact-finding with you, ask questions yourself.

Know that it is so important to take your time to get to know somebody. Instant relationships and instant attraction is fraught with danger.

You would not just go to a car yard and say, “I love that color car. I’m not going to check the engine, the miles. I’m not going to look at the history, I’m not going to get a mechanic to check it I’m just going to take it. That’s it.” You would not do that.

You wouldn’t spend a lot of money on a house and not get it checked out structurally, you wouldn’t do that.

Do we realize now, how expensive it is and how tragic it can be to gamble the most important thing in your life? Which is not your home or your car or even your profession – it’s your soul.

You really need to stand in your power. You really need to be very sure about what your values, what your truths are. You don’t want to start a relationship with somebody because of attraction and because you’re pulled in and then you wake up in a month’s time next to them and think, I actually don’t like your values. I don’t like who you are as a human being and try to change them into that. That’s a recipe for toxic relationships and also being with somebody abusive.

When you’re dating and when you’re meeting somebody, don’t spill all your beans, don’t tell them all about what’s hurt you and what’s happened to you.

A story that I share was a dating experience I had with a narcissist and I was empowered and healed up. So, don’t think that this can’t happen to you at will, because life is saying, “Who are you in this?”

And he was questioning about my previous relationships, and I know the playbook. And I said the truth, “I’ve had disappointing relationships, but it’s been awesome. It’s empowered me to know myself, to know who I am, and to know how to really choose relationships healthily.”

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Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans is a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the creator of the Quanta Freedom Healing method and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Melanie’s leading-edge healing methods have helped thousands of people make astounding full recoveries from toxic relationship abuse. Her work has now touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries worldwide and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. Melanie’s work is revolutionizing the old Model of Survivor Recovery to one of Thriver status. The free content Melanie offers on abuse recovery reaches close to 7 million people monthly on her website and across her numerous social media platforms and her reach continues to grow exponentially. In 2018, Melanie released her first book, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse - The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships which became an Amazon bestseller in days, and is now being translated into multiple languages. Free 16 Day Recovery Course – A Roadmap To Getting Clarity, Relief and Your Life Back On TrackView Author posts