In stark contrast, the entity is known as the True Self, (which still exists within us, even if not free yet because of internal trauma) feeds off and blossoms from love, authenticity, and truth.
Because the narcissist is self-divorced from his or her True Self, the narcissist cannot feel, register, or hold good feelings. He or she can only operate within the range of painful feelings. All “good” feelings, for a narcissist, are delusional/obsessive and ego-driven.
We are no match for a narcissist in a battle, who like a shark in blood-infested waters, gets switched on and powered up.
We … instead … are torn to shreds.
It’s your ego that wants to fight on, but our True Self knows that the energy being expended and the brutalization we suffer is not worth it and is NOT who you really are.
Your True Self is screaming at you this: Pull away and heal and create yourself as a Being that is impervious to abuse. Don’t try to fight back because you will only feed it, absorb it and become it.
3) The Narcissist Has Shown Us What We Need to Heal.
If you pull away using the inspiration that ignoring the narcissist hurts them the most, and you have stopped handing energy and power to them, then it’s time to make it ALL ABOUT working on your own Inner Being to heal yourself.
This is when we step into the Quantum Power of ignoring the narcissist. This is a much-improved model rather than having to continually having to remind ourselves why we need to stay away.
When we heal the Thriver Way, we stay away … for good. This is only possible when we start the determined work on our Inner Game – the detoxing of our inner trauma and reprogramming of our painful beliefs. By doing so, a profound switch comes on … this …
What you are PUNISHING me with is EXACTLY the unhealed parts of me that I need to heal to NOT only ignore you for real but to free myself from all feelings of enmeshment, love, and neediness with you. I know now by doing so, you will become totally irrelevant to me, and I will then transcend into relationships that ARE healthy, whole, and real.
This is a massive cause for celebration truly … and I promise you it is the truth. This is the truth that ultimately set me and so many others free.
It’s then that ignoring a narcissist becomes pretty easy … because we have made the journey all about loving and healing ourselves instead of trying to make the narcissist morph into someone who will love and care for us decently.
How it went for me is how it goes for all of us. I clung to the narcissist initially like a woman in a typhoon hanging onto the side of a sinking ship. I was drowning, yet I thought he was my only option to live.
Why did I do this?
Because all the ways I had felt as a child, and how I had grown up to treat myself … feeling not good enough, feeling loved with conditions, feeling not heard, not able to have my own rights, and not being capable to generate my own life … were all the aspects of myself under serious threat again.
Whilst I had these unhealed wounds, I was holding the messenger of these wounds (him) responsible to fix these wounds.
Why do any of us cling?
Because the unhealed child within us is dictating our emotions and our life.
When I pulled away and healed these original traumas, all of my graduations happened … just as it has for thousands of people already in this Community, and just as it will for you.
It’s a beautiful day when the narcissist tries to trigger you and there is simply NO trauma there for him or her to trigger.
That’s when your response is indifference and you have nil reaction. No charge felt in your body means there is no trauma remaining.
This is the level we are capable of healing to now, and being freed from the narcissist is only a part of it. The real truth is this: we are freeing ourselves from internal trauma which has caused us to hand power away in many areas of our life.